Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

No, I don't think you're stupid, but I know how to keep you in suspense.

God. Your whole life's in that dash, isn't it?

Right. [MA] What are you saying?

As a matter of fact, the only Sarah I know is a Sarah Collins.

Come on. Let's go.

- You're not gonna believe this. - Oh, come on. Try me.

Something tells me I'm really getting jammed.

I told these gentlemen I could get 'em a change of clothes.

I'm gettin' old, and I can't stand the thought...

What are you telling me?

is being considered for an early release.

[WHINNIES, SPUTTERS]

Alvin, is it me?

Can't beat it with a stick. Thank you. Yeah, warm me up. It's great to be home, ma.

Merry Christmas!

rip off your heads and shit down your throats.

Oh, no. We'll take care of him right away. He's all right.

That enhances my sense of security.

They didn't have a shred of evidence, 'cept for our fingerprints.

♪ you're nobody till somebody cares ♪

Uh, yes, father.

I still got the keys to the vault on me.

[ALL INHALE] We're all right. Just stay out of their way.

[SIREN CONTINUES]

Are you telling me you didn't rob the bank?

IF I WAS AN OFFICER RESPONDING TO 330 CHINOOK

My name is Dave.

Oh, my God. I must need some ointment or whatnot.

Will you just cool it?

Dog, cat-- shit.

[LAUGHING] That is right. I thought so too.

Something came over the wire tonight about two escaped convicts...

Bill, 20 years minimum. Get in.

[CHOKING] Would you mind signing here, Mr. Anderson?

What did he say?

Hey, Bill, you think this crate could make it to Pennsylvania?

So it's ground beef-cheese-scallion scrapple.

Sit down! Sit down, or I'm gonna shoot somebody! Sit down!

This is Mrs. Anderson.

[CLEARS THROAT] I just did what the map said. I made four lefts.

What were you doing five years for? Stupidity?

- Keep 'em up! - But-but on-on Christmas Eve? I-- eh-eh--

We’re not dead if that’s what you mean

Nothin' better than that smell in the whole, wide world. It does smell good.

Nobody move, goddamn it! This is a robbery!

I dropped it in the mail.

Oh, lunch. Good. [CHUCKLES]

We won't have time to hot-wire it again.

you were probably closest to the perpetrators at the time of the robbery.

All right, all right, all right, all right!

[TRAIN WHISTLE BLOWING]

sit down, you clown. Okay.

[ED] You got the wrong guy! It's the guy with the floppy ears!

whining about how your daughter doesn't come visit you no more,

Merry Christmas!

Oh, no, cops! Hey!

Think he'll remember us?

Might get there by midnight. If you'd like to catch it, we should probably go now.

I need to get Mr. Anderson over there to open up the vault!

They had an accident up at Hastings. I decided I'd bring them with me.

I know I didn't hear you right.

Hold on! Hold on! Whoa!

I don't know, but those three guys stole my kid's horse and sleigh.

All units, this is agent Peyser.

We're not all fancy, upscale restaurateurs like you, Bill.

All right. All right!

I'll see you every morning in the bank when I'm making my deposits.

There's a three-legged dog over there staring at me. [LAUGHS] Oh, that's Tripod.

Your gun just happened to go off three times in a row by itself.

You are really getting paranoid.

What am I-- [CHUCKLING]

[CUCKOO CLOCK SOUNDS] ♪ ho ho ho who wouldn't go ♪

You're not going! You are still a wanted man in New York!

[CLEARS THROAT] Forget it.

All right. Let's all stick our thumbs out and look pitiful.

Move! I'm mov--

♪ Up on the housetop click, click, click ♪

- ♪ glory to the newborn king - whoa! Oh! ♪ peace on earth

Just get in the trunk. You guys are dumber than a box of hair.

[ALL INHALE] Everybody. And let it out. Good.

which you gotta remember, was way back in the cretaceous period.

We only want your cash. [BILL] Move forward. Move forward. Go in. Move forward.

Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas.

[NEWSCASTER] With interstate 95 being the only major road still open.

There's no money. He's not lying. I swear on my mother's grave.

- I don't think she can fly, can she? - Oh, no, no, no.

I mean, life is great. Yeah? Huh? Isn't life great?

I mean, I couldn't live with myself if I froze a horse, especially him.

[DICK] Merry Christmas.

An all-points bulletin has been issued-- [CONTINUES, INDISTINCT]

What's going on here?

I've lied to a lot of people I care about, so please, just go while you can.

Let me talk to her. No. You know what she's like when she gets this way.

I know Bein' on parole, you're not supposed to leave the state.

[WHISPERING] Get down. Get down. Way down, boys. Get down.

- Yeah, ma. That's wicked bad. - Mm.

[ALVIN] After all these presents and stuff.

[ANDERSON] See you, boys. [SNORING]

[TRAIN RUMBLING]

Right up into them.