Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

When you're upstairs, you're up. And--

- You going South? - Nope.

Mix the two together? No, the Brandy's for me.

Yeah, nothin's changed, huh, Dave?

Does that look familiar?

Stop the madness! All right, all right, all right.

Thank you. Thank you.

Well, I guess I got nothing to hide now, so--

Aw, baloney. Are you sayin' that stuff was stolen?

Please-- please, I can't-- [CASH DRAWER OPENS]

Vic, we put the money back.

Yeah. I have the same thing in my wallet.

I show them a picture of ma, and they start shooting at me.

[DAVE] What's that?

Come here! Come on! Come on!

You remember? Yeah.

- Gag her. - You're doing me a goddamn favor!

Oh, well, you're a priest. Yeah.

You got-- no? All right. Raise your hands.

I just met this really terrific woman.

Looks like they got company with them in that jeep.

We were out here skiing, and the back of it-- Oh, man!

Oh, come on. Now, would I do that to you? Dave...

track you down like dogs,

E-E-Ed, swallow that.

- Don't make eye contact. - He's turning around.

I wanted to say my appreciation for your hospitableness.

We can solve this between us.

huh? What? What?

Bas ab bohot gya Mujhse nahi hoga iit

We gotta have a serious talk! Now get me the hell outta here! Uh-oh.

♪ but remember the Red River Calley ♪

You two are on parole. You cannot leave the state. You are in my custody.

It wasn't your fault. It was my fault, ma. I-- I convinced Bill...

How? Clovis! They're bullshitting you!

Are you coming along with us? No, no, no. Not you two.

Going home to your fammily? No, just my mother actually.

I detect resistance.

and that something bad is gonna happen as a result of this transgression.

Come on. There.

What do you know? You slept through the whole thing.

What are you watchin', Marla?

No, ma. Dave and Alvin would never steal anything.

Edna? Edna?!? Are we sleeping together? I think not! You idiots!

Forget what? I got eyes. I know you. Forget it.

And gotcha! [NERVOUS CHUCKLING] I'm coming, I'm coming.

I'm just real lucky you're going the same way as me.

I told them there was a sniper on the roof.

[DAVE] And out.

[DAVE CHATTERING]

Good evening. May I assist you with your specials tonight? Yes, waiter.

I knew you'd react like that. That's why I got another copy for your future perusal.

Where were you five hours ago?

♪ down through the chimney with good Saint Nick ♪

Look, can I ask you a question?

[SCATTERED RESPONSES] Merry Christmas. The snow came down pretty fast.

Well, according to the post, they may be home for the holidays.

[OVERLAPPING CHATTER] Vic?

- [ALVIN] Go! - Alvin, do you know what you're doing?

Flying would be out of the question, especially in this weather.

I apologize for my brother. He's uhh... Mentally Retarded

[DAVE] The town bank.

♪ [CONTINUES, INDISTINCT]

No? [CHUCKLES] No what? What are you talking about?

Well, it's nice to see you too. All right. Let's go see ma.

You're surrounded by 10 men. Helps to relax you.

When I go to a friend’s house for the first time and try to be polite Can you.. would you please pass the uh... giblet gravy?

Is he retarded? Yeah.

I just called the bus station. There's a road to the South open that's going to Philly.

[WHINNIES] [ALVIN] You stay there, Merlin. Stay there.

You don't understand. You can't go home. [SIREN WAILING]

Don't aggravate the old witch. I wish I was a witch.

You are not thinking clearly. No, I'm thinking very clearly.

Ohh... mentally retarded.

Huh? That's my bus.

Run! Run, Merlin! Run!

- Hold on, Alvin! - [WHIMPERING]

There's a man in the water. [COUGHING]

No choice. But he resisted, every step of the way.

And as far as periods go, oh, it was a mother.

He said it's time to forgive.

Just put the ball away for now. Thank you.

[APPROACHING FOOTSTEPS]

[SIREN WAILING IN DISTANCE]

Alvin Firpo. You have been labeled a kleptomaniac.

Everybody, nothin's gonna happen. Keep your hands up and relax.

A sleigh? Catch the sleigh!