Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

[OVERLAPPING CHATTER] Vic?

- You going South? - Nope.

Are you coming along with us? No, no, no. Not you two.

- [ALVIN] Go! - Alvin, do you know what you're doing?

[DAVE] And out.

Good evening. May I assist you with your specials tonight? Yes, waiter.

Come here! Come on! Come on!

Well, it's nice to see you too. All right. Let's go see ma.

I told them there was a sniper on the roof.

Forget what? I got eyes. I know you. Forget it.

I apologize for my brother. He's uhh... Mentally Retarded

♪ but remember the Red River Calley ♪

[SIREN WAILING IN DISTANCE]

Huh? That's my bus.

Bas ab bohot gya Mujhse nahi hoga iit

You don't understand. You can't go home. [SIREN WAILING]

What are you watchin', Marla?

Alvin Firpo. You have been labeled a kleptomaniac.

Flying would be out of the question, especially in this weather.

And as far as periods go, oh, it was a mother.

huh? What? What?

Mix the two together? No, the Brandy's for me.

No, ma. Dave and Alvin would never steal anything.

[APPROACHING FOOTSTEPS]

How? Clovis! They're bullshitting you!

He said it's time to forgive.

- Hold on, Alvin! - [WHIMPERING]

I show them a picture of ma, and they start shooting at me.

Oh, well, you're a priest. Yeah.

When I go to a friend’s house for the first time and try to be polite Can you.. would you please pass the uh... giblet gravy?

You got-- no? All right. Raise your hands.

Look, can I ask you a question?

Ohh... mentally retarded.

I detect resistance.

Oh, come on. Now, would I do that to you? Dave...

Yeah, nothin's changed, huh, Dave?

When you're upstairs, you're up. And--

- Don't make eye contact. - He's turning around.

I knew you'd react like that. That's why I got another copy for your future perusal.

[WHINNIES] [ALVIN] You stay there, Merlin. Stay there.

It wasn't your fault. It was my fault, ma. I-- I convinced Bill...

Don't aggravate the old witch. I wish I was a witch.

[DAVE] What's that?

[SCATTERED RESPONSES] Merry Christmas. The snow came down pretty fast.

No choice. But he resisted, every step of the way.

Does that look familiar?

I just met this really terrific woman.

No? [CHUCKLES] No what? What are you talking about?

[DAVE CHATTERING]

We gotta have a serious talk! Now get me the hell outta here! Uh-oh.

Edna? Edna?!? Are we sleeping together? I think not! You idiots!

And gotcha! [NERVOUS CHUCKLING] I'm coming, I'm coming.

E-E-Ed, swallow that.

Looks like they got company with them in that jeep.

Aw, baloney. Are you sayin' that stuff was stolen?

Yeah. I have the same thing in my wallet.

We were out here skiing, and the back of it-- Oh, man!

Just put the ball away for now. Thank you.

A sleigh? Catch the sleigh!

What do you know? You slept through the whole thing.

I'm just real lucky you're going the same way as me.

Come on. There.

Is he retarded? Yeah.

You remember? Yeah.

- Gag her. - You're doing me a goddamn favor!

I wanted to say my appreciation for your hospitableness.

Run! Run, Merlin! Run!

and that something bad is gonna happen as a result of this transgression.

You are not thinking clearly. No, I'm thinking very clearly.

Stop the madness! All right, all right, all right.

I just called the bus station. There's a road to the South open that's going to Philly.

Well, according to the post, they may be home for the holidays.

There's a man in the water. [COUGHING]

You two are on parole. You cannot leave the state. You are in my custody.

We can solve this between us.

Going home to your fammily? No, just my mother actually.

Please-- please, I can't-- [CASH DRAWER OPENS]

Vic, we put the money back.

Well, I guess I got nothing to hide now, so--

Thank you. Thank you.

♪ [CONTINUES, INDISTINCT]

♪ down through the chimney with good Saint Nick ♪

Everybody, nothin's gonna happen. Keep your hands up and relax.

[DAVE] The town bank.

track you down like dogs,

You're surrounded by 10 men. Helps to relax you.

Where were you five hours ago?