Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

Okay, let's just relax for a second.

When you get asked to start arriving on time for your shift

I'm allowed to be just as irresponsible as you.

Hey! How's it going? Hey!

You're trying to be my friend? Yes!

I kind of miss the rush of messing with the frat.

ASSJUICE: Oh, fuck.

You sure about that? She can start drinking soon.

All right. Let's do it.

So the water came out of here? Yep.

You're a human being, and I fucking milked you.

Let me turn her around. Let me turn her around.

and if you're in the back, it is approximately a 20-minute wait.

You don't want us to come back in.

Architecture joke.

Oh, homie. Wow. Oh, my God.

ROMIE: Right, right. So let's take a few calls.

Don't call me bitch! Okay. I'm sorry.

It's over. It's over, man.

No, no, clearly you had more important things to do.

We gotta go, okay? KELLY: We gotta go.

JIMMY: You're an animal. They called you Assjuice.

Get back in line!

But she's afraid because Pete and Teddy are best friends.

Is that a two-story bong?

This is who I am.

But when we do it,

What did you just say to me?

What didn't we have in college?

You’re gonna have to OOF me

What the fuck is wrong with you, man? Why did you do that?

we've only got a few minutes before they go upstairs and start fucking.

Whose a good, submissive little girl? I am daddy

No, she just makes it.

I can't let you in yet. I haven't figured out how to open it!

Harder, man. Yeah, really get in there.

No. She's my...

Like, for cuddling, and it's like a love...

You go find your nagging wife that you

(BOTH GROANING) (MUSIC PLAYING IN DISTANCE)

Fuck! Hey! Shit, stop! Stop! I don't like it, I don't like it!

neighborhood doesn't stand for that shit.

for the most epic party moments in history.

Po Po Po Po Power with Bearglove

I fucking will, man.

They don't know it was us. Could've been anyone.

That means they know the cops are coming.

(19305 MUSIC PLAYING)

You're the smartest person I know.

It's not working.

actually. (GASPS)

Travel back in time with me to 1930.

Come on, guys. Jesus.

That could have been two strikes, right there.

I like 'em like that.

(BOTH LAUGHING AWKWARDLY)

Hey, homie. I'm gonna fuck your wife with my giant dick.

Okay. I'll tell you what.

Jimmy, isolate Whitney.

Look at the blonde.

The point is...

We don't need that! What is that?

How do they know something's wrong?

Go! Get the brothers out of here now, man!

Say it! Come on! Say it, Teddy.

It's a bad one.

You want to swordfight?

This is President Barack Obama,

Whose a good girl? I AM DADDY!

And they were reprimanded for that.

I just want to let you know, I ate a pot brownie before coming in here.

Now it doesn't. It doesn't work anymore.

Bros before hos.

infiltrate a party, and get them to put hos before Bros.

Hey, I'm Batman. You know? Right?

He told us not to call the cops.

Don't be so fucking lame! Totally lame.

And I tried to get you to stop, and you wouldn't stop.

It's like you're, like, 10 years older than everyone, you know?

When you are one of 33 offers....

ASSJUICE: It's on the side.

HEY, I'M BATMAN.

That was a cheesy one.

Okay, good. I love you. Okay.

So, they have one strike. If they get two more, then they're out.

No. Fuck old people.

JIMMY: You're up.

Can I stick something up your ass?

We tried to call you. I don't know what to say.

What the hell, Bro?

What's the plan? Okay, okay.

We're gonna have to call the cops.

of a prestigious lineage of extraordinary gentlemen.

and you're the woman who's supposed to

And this year, we will make it on that wall.

I'm gonna drill a hole, I'm gonna pee. I can get bigger pants.

Delta Psi forever, ya bish.

Why is she... Okay.

I'm not a distraction.

How's it going? I'm sorry.

I don't know where you went to school.

Well then, what do you call these?

Don't be so fucking offended. It's not like we're gonna have sex.

We're mid-fucking-heist, genius!

Okay, okay, okay. Okay, let's do it.

That blonde dude with the red sleeves? He's a handsome guy.

Let's just do it!

So, is it our posture? Why do we look so different?

What does that mean?

I hate Mondays!

Yes, ma'am. I was just kidding.

Infinite hubris

I'll throw it away. Just throw it away.

(MUFFLED) Love you.

ALL: (CHANTING) Throw shit off the porch. Throw shit off the porch.

Oh, my God. You guys have to come out with me.

I like 'em full, baby.

I'm sorry. I'll do anything.

This never happened.

Like, way too excited.

He sold us out.

MAC: Yes. KELLY: Yes.

(SCREAMS) Oh, fuck!

Okay. Smack me.

Get your knees in there.

Delta Psi is attacking me! I'm under fire right now!

Fuck that, all right? I was out of line, man.

and the whole frat will implode.

Male erection before One Direction.

That's a good headline. I could get a raise off that headline.

This could be us in a few years.

it doesn't mean I can stop doing mushrooms with teenagers.

Tomorrow night, party's on.

so I tried to Bro out with you?

Let's do something we've never done. Okay.

Out of control.

What, is she gonna reimburse us for those kegs?

Just kind of let it out. Okay.

JIMMY: Yes, hello. This is the President of the neighborhood watch.

Oh, shit. Teddy just tweeted.

I don't get it! MAC: It's from an Outkast song.

Delta Psi! Delta Psi! Delta Psi!