Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

Hey! That's Teddy.

with your broke ass.

You got it right, Teddy!

They vegetarian?

What? You wrong.

It's a hexagon.

so you can achieve properly unencumbered neural pathways.

Now, when it comes to titles, I don't even care.

No, no, no. You gets no second chances up in here.

- Black love. - Okay.

So get out the way, bitch. Move! I can't allow this, Carrie!

Game face, Lonnie.

I don't even deal with politicians.

It's still not funny.

So I'm just gonna order us some food.

See, the nigga here, but he ain't here!

So let's get that baby neat. Eight!

Keep looking! Hands up, suckers!

There's a lot of instructions, Teddy.

Okay, well, welcome, everyone.

I'm sorry, I have to go.

Don't Let the Doorknob Hit You Where the Good Lord Splits You

It's not a sob story.

I am the music teacher.

Ashamed that I couldn't take a test.

Who you lookin' for, fam?

Oh. I'm so nervous about tonight.

I know that much.

Bobby likes to hit piñatas!

I don't need that. I haven't flirted since 1996,

My name is Carrie.

Well, I'm glad to hear it.

Go get a job at the post office then!

What's he doing?

Okay, here we go.

I'm goin' all out.

No matter what it takes

You can't outsmart Mother Nature. And that's what a woman is.

Come on, we're clearing those neural pathways.

You stop! Get off me! Dang it!

Hey, baby. I miss you. Are you still at work?

This should fit you perfectly.

And I don't like spicy food, but this one...

He here, but he not.

He is quite frankly a terrible student

You don't know Randy.

And I have a flash of news for you, guy. I manscape down here.

Amen! Yes, sir! Welcome, Brother Teddy.

Go, man! Hey! Who you honking at?

I'm on my break.

Come on, come on. Mac!

you wanna uplift your customers' palate.

Good to see you. Yes. Thank you.

If you don't know me, then you couldn't truly love me.

What the hell'd you go to jail for, Bobby?

Okay, so no lobster.

No desert, no snake gonna take me down

No. Actual propane?

It's five. Easy. Okay, you're looking at five squared.

Someone ought to call the cops!

I went through some of your old high school records.

I appreciate the whole "after school special" moment.

It's a simple physics problem. Just jump.

- This is a bad idea! - Come on!

Now, I know we got off on the wrong foot, so I was thinking,

Very impressive!

Good luck, everybody.

"Hygienist." He's saying "hygienist."

to get off a speeding ticket and guess what?

You got my back, I got your back.

I orchestrated the whole thing. It was all me.

Did you bring me some dried shamrocks, leprechaun?

Okay? When I think "man," I think you.

I don't, man. The teacher is tough as hell.

- Come on! - God damn it, Luis.

Okay, everybody, calm down. All right?

Are we just gonna gloss over the fact that we just watched a prison fight?

All right, guys, listen.

Wait a minute. Wait, I passed!

and unfortunately, we don't offer night school here.

That way, you don't owe them anything.

For learning disabilities.

What? Is there a problem with the dessert, sir?

She didn't touch my ass one time.

Okay, before I do that...

The baby right there!

Hell, you get 400 points just for signing your name!

God, that guy is a douchebag.

Get off the truck.

Your life is built on a financial house of cards.

Don't even look at him. Stewart's an asshole.

and this world is stressing me out.

I mean, that's actually one of my account managers.

Damn! It's the PTA meeting.

I'm gonna take a little bit of it. Get in there.

No, thank you, son.

There's never been a teacher that believed in me the way that you do.

So I'm here to try to make a little extra cash,

Are you on crack? It's Snap.

plus night school. It's too much!

- Jesus! - Get off me! Get off me!

Let me walk you out.

So, I don't know, I was thinking

Excuse me for asking, but are you doing a black voice?

So 15-squared is 225 divided by 6-squared.

I can't even see. Where's my mirror?

Well, there goes those 400 points.

I work at a fast food joint.

I'm offended, too.

So my child gets an assignment about the solar system,

Tell your mother that she can go buy a box of G-strings with her nasty ass.

What? Why wouldn't you lead with that?

So we're gonna mix it up.

- Teddy! - Teddy's back!

Focus. You better get it right!

It's a birthmark!

And here you are.

Oh. We love McDonald's.

It's not a hard math problem.

About 10 times.

What up, king? Come on, man!

but really, you're just looking at one thing.

Well, anyway, my knees and my back are really jacked up

But there are no decent sales jobs for an employee of the month at Barbecue City.

A lot of money in tips

The exit doors are locked down. There is no escape.

You little scrawny midget! I'll hold on to it.

Yeah, of course, he did, Marv.

No, no, no, no. Okay. No. I didn't realize that's what this was.

No, bro, you sleepin'. I move some coke or some dope in the day,

You see? Y'all don't...

Um... No. I'm...

I'm your wife. I'm not your mommy,

We got Minister Louis Farrakhan at the table.

It won't work. I see you, Teddy.

I don't have nothin' to say to you!

I'll allow this to happen. We just tryin' to get a vibe, though.

You don't even wanna be here! I do wanna be here.

He's jealous of your beauty.

You know, that's what I was talking about

Baby, you can have whatever you like

and just got replaced by a robot.

He said it. Don't make him say it again.

What I'm not gonna do is do it in a chicken... Goddamn!

He was tough on me. He said some things.

we thank you for bringing little Teddy to us here this morning.

So I've decided, when I retire...

One-time me. Teddy!

Crack that nut like a walnut. Thank you. No, thank you.

or what kind of watch you have on?

Hold on. Marv, let me hit you back. Yo! Oh, shit!

Well, there's no cure for what you have.

But I love being a mom.

What are you? The volume control police?

I can do whatever I want, Teddy.

Oh, my gosh. Why'd he come on the bus like that?