Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

I did hack into my supermarket's Instagram account
Wow! The Old virgin.
- I know. I would love to hear what you're telling me. - Sam.
We were just having brunch
It's no trouble. Thank you.
And then they all get mad, and then they turn on each other.
Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Easy. Easy.
- I can't get hard right now. - Do show me.
- Don't take that tack with me. - My friend lives here...
Ugh!
You can't even look at me and just say her name.
I miss making you cum.
Hey, did you see me take out that cab? Sydney Bristow style?
and now you're a pod person.
Come on, buddy. You can drive.
I thought... I was just joking around.
- Yeah, I mean... - Dick in a mousetrap!
- Or feeling attracted. - Okay, but it's mutual?
And I know a place with cheap tequila.
Emma and I are gonna stick around for another hour or so.
Matthew and I were at Columbia around the same time.
former bottle of green tea.
- We're actually rolling. - Ecstasy?
No, that's okay. That's okay.
And how do you appease your Khaleesi?
Do you wanna come to Henry's birthday party this weekend?
- What are you doing? - What?
He never calls. He always texts.
I'm... I'm sick.
in the dorm to sleep with you.
Did you... No, seriously, did you not get along with your mother?
Great. I have a final at 3:00.
This is the greatest movie ever made.
- Mind the gap. Tap the roof. - You got it.
Because I... I lasted longer.
when my dick doesn't get as hard as it used to, okay.
I'm surprised Matthew hasn't mentioned you.
You're gonna drive some guy crazy some day.
- Stop wanting to. - I mean, are you kidding me?
And then said, Come and lick my asshole if you're bald.
Are you one of Matthew's patients?
I mean, he's... he's actually dating. He's not cheating.
for the first time, and then I play him Blues Traveler.
Shots. I'm getting everybody shot. Shots for all round. We're going to keep it going.
First off, in our initial conversations about exclusivity
I'm telling you, someone's gonna murder us if you keep screaming...
was at my sex addicts meeting.
Oh, no. Well, let me... let me drive you home.
- Yeah. - Oh.
Yes, we're gonna have sex for 9 minutes.
That's it?
God!
- I really did. He fucks everything in life up. - Yeah, yeah, I do.
Okay, can I cut to the chase?
...mousetrap.
...you're like the hardest drug at the coolest party, you know.
- Well that explains a lot. - Full circle.
You know, that's how actually Henry was conceived.
Hey, baby.
♪ Come on come on come on ♪
I saw ya. Checkin' your phone every 5 minutes.
No!
No, Kara and George are shipping it to me on Monday.
[instrumental music]
I will straight up murder you if you do not sign this immediately.
Hey, I'm on Facebook!
- It could be mutual. - That's a yes.
- Uh-oh. - Goodbye.
First of all, I gave birth to them.
Second thoughts?
- Hi, Miss Dalton! - Hi, Miss Dalton!
And the day you made me yours.
We have made a generous offer to settle this lawsuit.
♪ But I try I try ♪
Como que va a cantar el coño
I was a mess.
Okay. Well, we go see a movie. During the day.
[instrumental music]
that lived next door to me, the boring guy.
Yeah.
I don't think I interrupt you, but go on.
Uh, but I mean I never really factor
- Okay, stop screaming that. - Rich as shit!
- That's... We don't get that enough. - So sweet.
- Yes. - I have to say, I don't mind it.
- Yeah. I'll check it out. - Okay, good.
Oh, my God. Are you guys high?
The guy I lost my virginity to
- What do you think? - Yeah.
Sorry.
Okay.
- And then there will be plenty of room. - A whole thing.
Because you have repartee with everybody.
It's so weird meeting someone when your husband has seen her...
I lost my phone in a cab.
You boring, fuckin', asshole!
by circumstance and certainly duration
- Keep going! - Oh, right. Yeah, um...
♪ I'm sorry baby you're stuck with me ♪
You talk to me about chicks you screw all the time.
They don't want to go swimming.
It's just a friend. It's no big deal.
That's how I text with him.
Lainey, you're not an addict, okay?
- Mm-hmm. - And so I always chose him.
- So who was the girl? - Hmm.
- Fuck you, Matt. - Why haven't you returned any of my calls?
Congrats, boys. You have officially sold out.
♪ Fuck it and whatever ♪♪
tickly ppussy
What? Why? What did I...
I fucked your sister.
No, I'm... I'm sorry.
Nice panties.
You don't remember someone sneaking into my room right before...
Okay, let me be super clear here.
I was married for 8 years.
- Disappeared. - Oh, plus you were all hung up on that guy
Alright.
I know that. I'm not saying you have to date her.
- We're... we're best friends. - No, we're best friends!
because I have no right to, you know, and...
What're we doing in this aisle?
Yeah.
Yeah!
[indistinct chatter]
So we wouldn't fuck it up but...
I need you to swear
But sex doesn't get in the way of our friendship.
When did you get this good?
[sirens wailing]