Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

I know that you stop breathing when you kiss.
- Oh! - That's awful!
but if you want me to come...
This is the Bieder contract that has to go to legal for comments.
♪ I'm so lost in my head ♪
- Uh, yeah. Anything. - Let's go, come up with one. What you got.
...way about you.
Get ready for a classic Jackie freakout
- Lainey. Lainey... with an L. - Oh.
I'm sorry the doctor is unavailable right now.
Yes, uh... uh did I not tell you that?
- That's how bad it is. - Wow!
- Why are you here? - Hmm.
- Really? - Yeah.
So much like your, uh, the counter-intuitive plan
♪ Fuck it baby I got you ♪
- Lainey? - Yeah.
- Fucking awesome. You know that's... - Yeah.
Who? Who? I'll murder him.
- It's him. - Him who?
Tweet tweet tweet.
You know what? I'm... I'm... You mind if I run
- No, the lady doesn't need it. - Excuse me.
Lainey, what are you doing?
- Okay. - Can I just hold them now?
- You might be right. - How could you fuck her, Jake?
right before we got married.
- You got this, Henry. - There you go, Henry.
...contractions in your vagina, alright?
You got it, boss.
At that point you're gonna wanna squeeze your vagina harder
Very sick in the head.
- So, okay, so it needs to be more violent. - Mm-hmm, something extra.
[upbeat music]
You know, so it's No, no, no. It's not you, it's me.
that we gave birth to.
Who's your girl, Jake?
Swell.
Yeah. I'm listening.
- Okay? - You can't even say it.
Well, from safe word to code word, I guess.
I guess, I just thought that eventually he'd choose me
♪ 'Cause it's a thrill to give you ♪
Okay, y-you know what it's called. Wonderful. Good for you.
Make a golf cart in my own motor transportation.
- Take care of her, okay? - Oh, yeah. No, I got this.
Excuse me.
'Cause honestly I have enough friends.
♪ In a one-horse open sleigh ♪♪
Oh, I know it. Bein' Honest ...honest, critical appraisal is the foundation...
♪ Treat me like a fool ♪
Yeah, 5 years ago.
All that tension in your shoulders. Legs crossed, playin' with your hair...
It was?
You want me to tell you what sex is like, huh?
over a randomly selected dumpling spot
- Yeah? - Hmm.
I'm not attracted to you. And I have zero penises.
I love cutting to chases. Do it.
Like he hadn't even noticed that we stopped sleeping together.
Well, I haven't seen him in a long time.
- Oh, may God. - This is my wife.
Studying for the MCATs, you know. You?
- It's like, Elaine! Elaine... - Hey!
Because he have to control these lives
[instrumental music]
[cellphone ringing]
The regular. Come on.
It's not like we haven't done it.
I was...
Can we please go home?
Elaine! Elaine! Elaine!
I'm talkin' about, like, the White Album, not Hook.
You ever see him around?
You don't have to go for lunch yet.
[screaming]
Alright, well, goodbye forever.
Bye, Chris. Thank you so much for tonight.
- We did the date. - You know, I think it was the first...
Yes!
...they could mate with as many men in one session as possible.
Moi. Your issue with me and Sarah...
- I love you! I love you! - Jake, I love you.
What's up?
Oh, my God. Were y-you just in that meeting?
to secure an exclusive relationship
But you're so old.
I feel like he had longer hair.
- Hey. - We made it work.
See you in 20?
Why are you telling me she's Black?
- You're my last single friend, I can't have you... - So what?
- It was one short story... - Yes! That is great!
- Congrats. - Thanks.
Stephanie Sanders. Right here.
unavailable avoidant breeder you don't fuck.
Hey. Second... second point. Okay?
That's my husband! Oh, my God!
- Both. - I can get to like, 6 and a quarter.
A little adrenaline, in a bad way.
Oh. We should take our driver.
- Okay? - Okay.
- Give me the phone! - No. Absolutely...
Wow. Bathroom fucking stinks.
I'm gonna have to call the campus police.
Oh, my God!
Jesus. I... I've got my fingers crossed out here for an option C.
What?
Honey!
No!
You're a fuckin' whore!
I miss your cock in my mouth.
- Please. - No, no, no. It's just a friend.
I don't deny what I've done. I embrace my past.
.
Oh.
Why? Because I happened to be in your eye-line?
♪ Oh so lonely ♪♪
to introduce him to other people.
So I call her last night
[cellphone ringing]
I wanna be able to talk you about this kinda thing.
What? Is that a real thing?
- Oh, really? - Yeah.
- Oh, many times. - You have not had sex for 90 minutes.
- Jake! Jake! - Don't answer it. No.
I spend about a month's rent on this.
I'm so, so sweaty. All this on...
I didn't know we put a down payment on this place.