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Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips
Oh, come on. I am not, okay?
Can you please just not interrupt me while I read this, please.
I'm just saying arrive at the party together.
What? You did? You didn't tell me that.
♪ I'll keep you safe forever ♪
What are you doing? Fucking take it.
And that's why we agreed to stop seeing each other.
That's like... You know, do that to me.
That's great. That's another dysfunction I have to worry about developing.
No way.
Lainey.
I don't know. I... I'm just trying to give you a mental picture that's all.
- Goodnight. - Goodnight.
Holy shit! I don't think I've ever...
♪ I catch the paper boy ♪
if you answer a question truthfully.
You've been writing again?
No, I knew a girl whose father was from Guam
Goodnight, Surf Tight
I have two beautiful children
My ex has my son this weekend.
You got to let them have it.
Trying to distract myself.
Hey, you don't do this anymore, okay?
- You mean out here. - Just... Yes, mouth shut, please.
doesn't make me an asshole, it does however make you a liar.
- I can't get hard right now. - Alright.
- It's you're birthday! - It's you're birthday!
♪ Oh oh oh ♪
Oh, my God. No!
You take this risk...
That's so nice. Are you sure?
There you are.
Um... it's a long story.
That guy's a fucking asshole
Hey, you've reached Lainey. Leave a message.
♪ Come on come on come on ♪
[Lainey chuckles]
- Lose my virginity. - Hold on a second...
Is that what's going on? Does it tip in hundreds?
Is it okay if I go over Henry's to go swimming?
What do you think that means?
for cool people who fucked up?
Maybe I knew him at Colum...
- If we're gonna be friends, you know... - Okay.
- No kidding. - Yeah.
I guess I can't talk you into a road trip to Ann Arbor?
He has no one to play with and gets angry.
No, alright. Alright. Alright. Alright. Okay. You know... y... you just...
Rent free I might add.
I... I thought it was something that should be special.
[indistinct chattering]
So I don't... I don't know what to do here.
Maybe he's an actor?
- Yes, I am. - Hmm.
What!
So. I don't get mad when you bring other chicks to our restaurant.
- I'm not gonna tell you... - I deserve to know.
I don't know if I have time to answer that.
into thinking Blues Traveler
Not really. I'm kind of in the middle of something.
And it kills me that I can't ask you to stay
Abominable end credits
Elaine's great name.
- Uh-huh. - What? What do you want me to do?
No, I think it was...
No, and so there's a little bit of a meltdown. It's a little bit of a crisis.
Fuck you. Enlighten me.
on this entire floor is beyond me.
Yeah. Don't sell yourself short.
Oh, yeah. Yeah. Me neither.
No!
- Okay. - Bye!
- I'm divorced. - His loss.
♪ It's way too real out there ♪
- If you ask me. - Oh, yeah.
- I know it's a birthday gift. - I can't go to France.
You're gonna go swimming at my house?
Just go to town on this little motherfucker right here.
Be rude to it.
- You're crazy. - Settle down, people.
Yes. Either A, we make multiple babies with you.
with a boring heroin penis that turns you all into a sex addict
- I know it's because his dad molested him. - What?
Matthew, are you gonna fuck me, or what?
Nice job, Oliver.
Us. You're funny.
I try. I just, I don't know, I... I...
I know we're no good at this shit.
- Wait a minute, where is she going? - Yeah, don't let her get away.
I'm gonna be the creepy old dude!
I look, sorry, I... Ow! Ooh! That got me!
Because I'd rather fail with you than win with anyone else.
Oh, my God! You've got a one track mind.
...you know, heartless alpha male who fucking jogs!
Oh! My heart goes out to you ladies.
Because I know you don't wanna get married, but you know
You can go get any woman you want.
The day you said...
I bet they're counting like, foreplay and stuff.
- Don't. - I don't.
Really? Well, I still choose you.
Okay, I'm gonna try it again, alright?
Does that make sense?
- That's the one. - What? Are you kid...
Or what? Are you... are you threatening me?
in the right direction.
You're embarrassing the kid.
Was this supposed to be a date?
- This new crazy thing. - Gotcha.
Well I just, um...
- I'm on break. - So take this...
- We need a doctor. - I'm a doctor! I'm her doctor!
♪ Kite ♪
Now, I... Now, I'm super happy with 4 to 6.
- She doesn't deserve that. - I would like that, please.
Yeah, 7 at least.
over you co-opting an original idea of mine.
but me, I can't share with you the slightest disappointment
- Oh come on, that is not true. - You've been lying this whole time.
And she can't hold a candle to you.
- Okay, mister. - Wow me.
You're just... here.
Okay, okay. Great.
...take Molly with me and go to a kid's birthday party?
Did you, uh...
No. You're telling the truth.
- October. - Congratulations.
What you don't mastur... Why not?
Yeah, of course it's a real thing.
♪ Oh oh oh ♪♪
♪ Darlin' I'll be... ♪