Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

For me, I... you know, I've... never slept with someone
So... I guess we're tied.
I wasn't trying to hurt you.
- Thank you. - That's really sweet.
That's what it's about, right?
Had a spectacular time with you last night.
[instrumental music]
- I have a kid. - I love kids.
Awesome.
Hey!
Please don't put me in this position.
I love those Rush Hour movies. Oh, my God.
♪ All in your arm it is ♪
No. Alexander had the ball first.
I need you to... Because, uh...
Your chief complaint is not that I screwed someone
I don't negotiate, but my lawyers do.
Hey. Not all of us can remain celibate for a year, alright?
- I wonder if we find the route... - Oh, you're such a romantic.
than it wants to go, okay.
Welcome to my Thursday night. Huh?
Dr. Sobvechik's office...
That's a cruel joke, for I will have just tricked him
I know what your car looks like. I don't need it.
- You might as well face it, you're addicted to love. - Obsession...
- Thank you. - Okay.
- But it didn't, so I stopped. - Okay.
If I've been drinking his juices, I wanna know who it is.
- I'll have to move the car seat. - Mm-hmm.
C, you appease her.
You're a completely different guy with me
- We'll have to see in the future... - Hmm. Okay, alright.
You said you got into a car accident.
Yeah?
- Yeah! - Yeah.
They're great. They're such good movies.
Better be ready.
We're getting a chance to start over.
It's good. We should. Um...
[cellphone beeps]
Fuck yes!
- Wow, you really, you really... - Really what?
Thank you for inviting me.
That's the second time you said that. Hmm.
Jake's friend Lainey, who he really wants to fuck.
- I had to give him $5000. - What?
I don't... I don't know. I don't know how to recreate that myself.
over and over again to choose sex over my self-worth.
down at the plaza right down the road here.
mis planes con Mile Ahh rico pa´ rico
And I just... I haven't done this in a while.
I wanna move forward in our relationship in an honest way.
God damn boring dick!
We'll you've spent 10,000 hours fucking my life up.
I'll get this for you, you've got to close this.
Reverse it. Yeah!
Hey, Lyle, no, no, no, no.
You know, no pre-meditation means no post-meditation.
So you're gonna mind the gap, right, tap the roof.
♪ Well if you ever go ♪
you slip my coat over my shoulders.
- Mmm. - Were you a fat teenager?
♪ A blown out birthday candle ♪
It's a nickname they give to people named Elaine.
I mean...
I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset.
Hmm.
Yeah, I mean, no, it's none of those things.
You mean like Game of Thrones Khaleesi?
No! That's not it at all.
Figure what... What are you doing?
Which brings me to my third and final point.
The Henley wearing bullshit motherfucker!
♪ Dashing through the snow ♪
What are we gonna do about it?
No offense, but seriously, just...
Okay, call me back. Seriously Call me back.
Are you kidding? It's perfect.
Then they won't let their kids play with my kids.
Um, they're gonna be here in like, 90 minutes.
- He's seven. She's not seven. - Oh.
- Never make it end. - This is, uh, Lainey! Lainey, Naomi.
Me voy a tirar un pedote
Where are you right now?
and I hope it's the one that gives you dick cancer.
Yeah, yeah, uh, yeah.
Right. Right, great.
- No, I'm... - I deserve to know.
It's like... um, when I sign this, what happens to everything
And we'll be there. I've got the rings, the whole deal.
Good afternoon, Dr. Sobvechik's office.
I don't need to go trolling online looking
You have lipstick on your teeth.
I taught you that as a gift to you.
But I didn't... I didn't think I'd remember you.
a very nice suite in a 5 star hotel just waiting for ya.
Hey! Hey, Hannah!
Right over your shoulder.
I was on the subway, did you text me?
my body for the first time.
Ha ha. Yeah. Ha...
So if you wanna reopen the terms of the contract, that's fine
- Let me think about it. - What do you say?
I'm not sex addict.
- Yeah. - Alright!
I have, uh, this is actually... This is my train.
You know, he's married now, that one?
Could've been your true love.
Do you remember?
That's not true.
[Miniature Tigers singing Oblivious]
- I love you. - Lainey, Lainey, Lainey.
Great! Okay, who wants to learn a dance!
Fuck. Oh...
Hey. You going to lunch? Can I come with?
- Okay. - Yeah.
If they're gonna be 90 minutes...
Easy. Easy. Watch it! Back off! Back off!
...actually really done it yet.
It would be kinda cool though if you could just hang onto the back.
Hey.
What?
Because I booked us a flight back
Oh, you and Emma got back together?
I just tried calling you.
your perception of normal might be a little skewed, my dear.
12 years. Who would've thought?
- You know, like that. - Yeah, that's harsh.
And why would you do that?
You need to give me this water.
Nice porn.