Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

I'll sue Anytime, anyplace, anywhere... Oh, by the way, anybody.

- Yeah, but he shot the moon on that hand, didn't he? - Yeah, I saw that.

You know what, Grama? I need your fucking charity like I need your cock in my ass.

He's the one guy in the game you don't want to fuck with.

English only at the table

- I'm going home. - Fine.

You aint celebrating your birthday until you catch yourself a good hanger

Uh, not with the law. I owe.

- You didn't learn that yet? - No, we get to Steinbrenner in the third year of law school.

That punch nearly broke Bird

Well, my Uncle Les says when the money's gone, it's time to move on,

I feel fine. Me too. I feel okay

- Good. - I'm in.

Clint Eastwood. The Outlaw Josey Wales, man. The MAN with No Name.

Jim, you’re a good man I also think Rounders is a classic

- Because I knew you wouldn't understand. - Understand what?

so it helped you

Every place in MANhattan, they all keep books, all right?

[MIKE NARRATING] I met Worm at Dwight Inglewood Preparatory Academy over in Jersey.

Stop worrying so much, okay?

You feelin’ satisfied now, D’Antoni? ‘Cause I can keep bustin’ you up all night long.

Flops the nut straight and has the discipline to wait him out.

Six thousand, two thousand.

I got outplayed. I got outplayed that time.

PAY THAT MAN HIS MONEY

Yeah, I took a risk. I took a risk.

But if you don't have it all by then,

It's a fucking joke anyway.

bye yarn meme happy face :)

Forget her, Face. I was actually gonna try and make some real money tonight.

Im impressed with his spending like I need your cock in my ass.

2016 Chicago Cubs Hanging around

It will all be over soon.

I don’t bet all day and the first race, chalk chalk chalk

Pay that woman her money.

We're not gonna talk? You left me pretty quick there.

I've got 10,000 dollars I'm looking for a game.

to never let that guy get a hold of you?

The SURVIVOR POOL IS MINE THIS YEAR! Selects The Bengals Week 1

I give you 2 lines.. what’s that give you.. a half hour?

He's not kidding. I got nothing.

Did you book it? I'm sorry, Ron. I don't remember...

I'm not gonna let anybody drop a garbage can on my head.

Okay, well, I got the jacks. Come on.

Don't let that M.S.G. fuck up your head more than it is, Mikey.

Juice is still runnin’

Yeah, yeah, he comes in after you leave,

But I know I'm good enough to sit at that table.

IN THE OPTIONS GAME OF LIFE, IV IS THE FUCKING RAKE!

'cause all the high rollers are over there watching him.

OP’s Hopes For Quitting The Day Job Down the Fucking Drain

It's easy. We get the fuck outta Dodge, all right?

selling 'em dime bags of oregano, nunchakus and firecrackers from Chinatown.

I'd just throw it away.

For someone not coming to Thailand, you spend a lot of time asking about Thai visas

Da, da, da, da, yeah

I'm just a law student now.

Watch out for the medallion. My diamonds are reckless It feels like a midget hanging from my necklace

Stacks and towers of BPY units I can’t even see over

Very aggressive

I'm back where I started, with three stacks of high society.

- I know. - That's it. I can't go any deeper than that. You're off the tip.

Mike McD You Lost??

but there's no risk in this room.

So I gotta keep three games going at once, all right?

It hurts, doesn’t it?? that draw four could not have helped you.

I will splash the pot Whenever the fuck I please

Lays down a monster

What, did you get robbed?

Meet me at Stromboli's in half an hour, all right?

Anytime, anyplace, anywhere... Oh, by the way, anybody.

Playin' all night, high-limit Hold' Em at the Taj.

These are decisions you make at the table.

- Fucking happens all the time around you. - What, it doesn't happen to you?

This is why the World Series of Poker is decided over a No-Limit Hold 'Em table.

And when I win, I win fuck off -Ruben

Usually you have to know something about a case to give an opening statement.

Teddy KGB backed me.

- Yeah. I'm serious. - All right.

[MIKE NARRATING] Amarillo Slim, the greatest proposition gambler of all time,

Said I don't wanna give it back, oh

- It's like, it's like, you know... - All right.

- Yeah? - Stacks and towers of checks I can't even see over.

Are you telling me the Hoosiers lost again? Yeah, it was a real blood game at KGB’s place. What a shame,

Give it back, no

- Mike, please. Relaxation therapist. - [CHUCKLES]

Agree about the K factor, that being said It’s going to be a real blood game at KGB’s place tomorrow

I flopped thr nut straight

In honor of Donnie’s Ali-like return to the ring I’m gonna be sippin’ on some Old Grand Dad

This last time I stick it in you.

My entry fee from last time I stuck it in you

- You should be. - [CHUCKLES]

or fucking pipe dreams of winning the World Series on ESPN.

Jesus, you guys are such fuckin' babies. You know that?

Hey, fuckin' Grama. How you doin'?

- Hey, listen! He's good for it. - He's good for it, Mike?

Gin. Always gin.

the outstanding tough beats of his career.

I don't like running solo.

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh

Ah, under optimum conditions with a bankroll, maybe.

And he just comes right back over the top of me,

It's okay. I wasn't sleeping.

Said I don't wanna give it back, no

Bullshit. Bullshit.

They're putting a fucking bracelet on me tomorrow for four months.

[CHUCKLES] The fuck you know what we all got.

I came home and you were gone. You were just gonna drop me like that?

But this isn't a gunfight. It's not about pride or ego. It's only about side bets.

It's true. I just think if you get in this way,

That wasn't enough for you...

- So, it's just like... - Why didn't you tell me that, man?

- Check. - Check on an ace. All right. I'll check.

I NEED A BLOWJOB FROM CHRISTY TURLINGTON

Stacks and towers of BPY I can’t even see over

میشه نه؟

LOOKS LIKE WE GOT AN ASSHOLE HERE. A WHAT?

He sees all the angles, but he doesn't have the balls to play one.

just fire up omaha sessions, just to see how it feels that's a great idea

I can beat the game

[GLASS SHATTERS]

trying to figure out how they came up short.

- He's gone. - So you brought my money?

Gangsta ass nigga plays his cards right

can't handle the random

So, like I said, the Dean's bet is $20.

And to be honest

Feel free to reload

- He's saying you're dealing off the bottom of the deck. - Oh, God. Come on, guys.

Good luck, man.

Gene Marinacci won't buy deferential.

Some people, pros even, won't play No-Limit.

I will splash the pot whenever the fuck I please.

It's a good thing Grama doesn't know you as well as I do.

We had the starting five take a dive against Friends Academy.

I can beat the game

I was gonna call, but I didn't want to wake you up.

Hey, where you been? I've been freezing my ass off.

And use the right cites. Use book cites, not Lexis.

[CARDS SHUFFLING]

Catching that Jack on the turn.

LET'S PLAY SOME CARDS

They all know me as a small-timer, but that's about to change.

who's filling in for patrick couper? lynne clutterbuck.

What we have here is a clear case of gerrymandering,

Well, are you feeling satisfied now Keyser? Because I could go on busting you up all night.

I always hoped that I would find...

- Really? - Yeah.

A nickel would start me very nicely.

Lays down a monster

Come on, man, have some decency here, Worm.

You could always count on me, Mike.

- That right? - Yeah.