Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

Where's the fucking Twinkies?

Rule number 32: Enjoy the little things.

Six people left in the world, one of them is Bill fucking Murray!

No fear, nothing to lose.

...it wasn't enough to just be fast on your feet.

Fasten your seat belts. It's gonna be a bumpy ride.

It's like the first time that I've ever driven.

- and he's pedaling, and the zombie's head is, like, caught in the gear.

The amusement park?

And why am I alive when everyone around me has turned to meat?

Another marriageable woman to bring home to the folks.

Wantum your wampum. Yeah. That'll work.

let me begin my 3-part apology

Have fun in Mexico.

I had to get that out. I don't mean to gush.

Blind spots are for other drivers.

...and you stole it from a movie.

- Those bitches. - I know.

I don't even know your name, but this is actually really nice.

Po Po Po Po Power with Bearglove

...it would be nice to see a familiar face, or any face...

...maybe the most important rule of all: Don't be a hero.

I'm going to Pacific Playland.

Rule number one for surviving Zombieland: Cardio.

He had my personality, my laugh, my appetite.

You have just survived the zombie apocalypse...

- Really? - Yeah.

...l'm living the dream.

- I love you. - I love you too.

- That's nice. - Smell the finger?

- Really? - Fake.

I'm sorry. I didn't know that it was you you.

No. I knew a guy way worse at that than me.

When the virus struck, for obvious reasons...

- Yeah. - Yeah, that's probably for the best.

You know, with the hair in the chain just, like, going around.

So I'm on my way from my college dorm in Austin, Texas...

I'm worried about you.

At least until we know we're alone.

...we decided to stay together as far as Pacific Playland.

Cutest dog ever.

- Thank you. - Okay.

Tallahassee believes you have to blow off steam in Zombieland...

We can't just fucking drive down the road...

- And if you've got it, sugarless gum. - What the fuck?

- Hey, they're up there. They're okay. - What are you waiting for?

Think the two of us are smart enough to come up with a con like that?

That guy down there is me. I'm in Garland, Texas.

Are you fuckin with me?

It's tough growing up.

...but I've come to realize that you can't have a country without people.

But the thing I fear more than anything, yes, even more than zombies...

- Come get him. Avoid the chandelier. - Light him up, Ray.

Can't a guy take a dumper in peace?

She's on a plane, that's the beauty of it.

- This is really fun. Oh, my God. - Yeah.