Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

It's like the first time that I've ever driven.

- Really? - Yeah.

...we decided to stay together as far as Pacific Playland.

I'm worried about you.

You know, with the hair in the chain just, like, going around.

The amusement park?

Blind spots are for other drivers.

I don't even know your name, but this is actually really nice.

That guy down there is me. I'm in Garland, Texas.

...it wasn't enough to just be fast on your feet.

Another marriageable woman to bring home to the folks.

- Come get him. Avoid the chandelier. - Light him up, Ray.

...it would be nice to see a familiar face, or any face...

He had my personality, my laugh, my appetite.

Can't a guy take a dumper in peace?

You have just survived the zombie apocalypse...

Tallahassee believes you have to blow off steam in Zombieland...

...and you stole it from a movie.

Have fun in Mexico.

So I'm on my way from my college dorm in Austin, Texas...

I'm going to Pacific Playland.

- Thank you. - Okay.

Cutest dog ever.

- Really? - Fake.

- Those bitches. - I know.

No. I knew a guy way worse at that than me.

Rule number one for surviving Zombieland: Cardio.

- And if you've got it, sugarless gum. - What the fuck?

Fasten your seat belts. It's gonna be a bumpy ride.

And why am I alive when everyone around me has turned to meat?

I'm sorry. I didn't know that it was you you.

Are you fuckin with me?

- This is really fun. Oh, my God. - Yeah.

When the virus struck, for obvious reasons...

No fear, nothing to lose.

Six people left in the world, one of them is Bill fucking Murray!

- I love you. - I love you too.

Wantum your wampum. Yeah. That'll work.

It's tough growing up.

At least until we know we're alone.

...but I've come to realize that you can't have a country without people.

- Yeah. - Yeah, that's probably for the best.

let me begin my 3-part apology

She's on a plane, that's the beauty of it.

- Hey, they're up there. They're okay. - What are you waiting for?

- That's nice. - Smell the finger?

Where's the fucking Twinkies?

Rule number 32: Enjoy the little things.

Think the two of us are smart enough to come up with a con like that?

Po Po Po Po Power with Bearglove

...maybe the most important rule of all: Don't be a hero.

We can't just fucking drive down the road...

...l'm living the dream.

- and he's pedaling, and the zombie's head is, like, caught in the gear.

I had to get that out. I don't mean to gush.

But the thing I fear more than anything, yes, even more than zombies...