Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

Friday night, third straight week indoors.
And then I'd finally be a member of a cool, functional family.
The last pack of Charmin that anyone will enjoy in the whole universe.
There is a box of Twinkies in that grocery store.
Not as fun as I remember.
I hate to give credit to anyone who looks like Yosemite Sam...
In those moments when you're not sure the undead are really dead dead...
It's a fast-acting virus that left you with a swollen brain, a raging fever...
You got taken hostage by a 12-year-old?
I have a case of chronic anxiety.
I don’t work at Alamo Drafthouse
Swing.
Oi
Oh, this is so exciting. You're about to learn who you gonna call.
Year 2020 "You guys want some Purell"
- No Twinkies. - Shit, fuck!
Dont Swing
You are like a giant cock-blocking robot...
...with all my phobias and irritable-bowel syndrome...
- Went heels to Jesus. - Oh, made love.
Let me call you back.
I'm sorry, he just gets me.
I'm not sure what's more tragic: that my family is gone...
I think they might actually require our assistance this time.
It's okay, but FYI, I beat wholesale ass for a lot less than that.
AND IT MAY LOOK LIKE THE COYOTES DESTROYED HIM BUT THAT'S ACTUALLY JUST CONOR GARLAND
Give him the gun.
And we took shelter in the back of the truck.
- Oh, free parking. - Yeah.
- Wichita! Little Rock! - Hurry!
I took it off to pump my gas, and I thought that I put it in my purse...
This guy has a direct line to my funny bone.
No Twinkies Shit fuck
Okay, yeah.
On the bright side, I had found a place to go number two.
...he is on a steamroller, and a zombie goes down in front of him.
Had my first school dance. Oh, thank you.
...if you can have a type, what would that be, you think?
Hey!
Where are you, you spongy, yellow, delicious bastards?
Since I could masturbate. I mean, not that they're connected.
Look, stay back, 406, okay? I don't wanna hurt you, but...
So do you have any regrets?
You’re right that’s the worst part.
Moe
Holy shit.
...that doesn't have blood dripping from its lips and flesh between its teeth.
Are you fuckin with me? Uhhh No
I'm going after Wichita.
It's amazing how quickly things can go from bad to total shit storm.
Buddy of mine showed me how to do this.
Who'd have guessed that would be zombie killing?
I saw this construction worker. I shit you not...
Fuck this clown.
Don't talk about me like I'm not here.
I think we should probably just keep going.
All those fucking zombies.
I mean, not running, sprinting.
Come here, big fella. Just gonna take a little off the top.
...we had hope. We had each other.
It makes you think if you can go back to the way things were right now...
It's called 5:00 shadow, but sometimes I'll get it prematurely.
Beverly Hills.
Yes, I am.
You see, you just can't trust anyone.