Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

Oh man, you're Prettier than I am

'Cause then it's real, you know?

- Hey, Marty. - Yeah.

Its a girl, buy some pink s...

Oh, I can't go.

I’m sorry I’m sweating on you okay just stop talking

I said fuck off Jayden

Did he wear a condom no

Sorry, man, it's the job and I'm like, Don't look at me when your finger's...

SHELIKEADAWAYYADICKTASTE

And then, after the baby is out...

How many Red Bulls have you had?

- I heard you were pregnant. - Mmm-hmm.

You know, we're just doing what we can.

You can. I won't think it's gross or anything.

- Dilated? - Dilated. That's right. Focus.

- Oh, he did. We'll take good care of you. - Okay.

What is this, like a water birth?

Yeah, she's got a really cool phone.

- Bring it back. - He's overweight.

That... That's it?

- Come on, harder. - I can't do it harder.

she thinks I'm gonna turn into a shitty husband.

So if you don't want to, that's totally cool, you know?

No, I can't be pregnant. Right?

See you, Scorsese-on-coke.

No, no, it's fine. It's fine! It's fine!

And all these stars just fuck it up.

I'm so sorry I broke up with you.

You know who I'd like to get pregnant, is that Felicity Huffman, man.

From Vancouver. I live here illegally, actually.

Tell me, were you a big fan of the...

I kind of feel bad for Pete.

but I just walked three fucking miles through Koreatown to get here!

Let's go swimming right now. Let's just do that.

You're so concerned with stuff, like Don't get them vaccinated.

You'll feel a little bit of a push. You'll feel a little bit of...

No, they're not.

Shiny thread? Unbelievable.

If a goofy guy like you had sex with her, I feel like I had sex with her also.

I'm gonna get you!

Your fantasy what?

Old Steely Dan.

- Yeah. Okay. - Bye. Take care.

What? I just saw you a couple months ago. You're pregnant?

- They should've called her Harry, not Sally. - Really.

Okay, so let's see Spider-Man 3 next week.

That would suck. I'm sorry.

This is healthy. This is good. I think we're bonding.

I'm not that guy anymore.

I went to the movies.

I shouldn't have joked

Was your vagina drunk?

Dr. Howard's not available tonight.

So don't even try to come into that room. That's my room now.

I wanna hear Green Day

Driving home with Georgie

you wouldn't care about anything.

I want to hear Green Day!

Debbie wants to give her life to you, and Allison doesn't want to do that with me.

excuse me maria lagonikos raelene snell's got denyolpohibia and she's 2999 and she finished at -0 years old when she grew backwards in the 90's! oh congratulations to her! i hope she'll bop off bali then bow into beryl bonk.

- What are you doing? - I almost got it. Just give me a second.

Hey, maybe you can get your own place now.

- I see we're well on our way. - Okay.

I have on occasion.

I don't get how you're comfortable with any of these guys

It was like talking to a wax statue.

See? I see the beam of light.

Brian and Daniel had sex with a condom

- Wait. The baby's coming right now? - Yes. Right now.

This is basically a giant list of things you can't do.

Bitch you're so lucky, I can't even tell you how much lucky you are.

Okay. Yeah. That makes perfect sense.

Oh, no, that's okay.

Ben is fucking naked fucking Alison

There's something wrong with me.

She's beautiful.

so he will not be able to be here tonight.

The way it's gonna come out of your...

- What the fuck was that? - It is what it is, sweetie.

You wanna come back and hang out at my place?

- What does it look like, Ben? - Oh, God.

Don't ask her about her sister and her nose job.

to hang out a little bit and...

I need to speak to you right away. Allison Scott.

- Oh. - What are you doing?

as any of these little skanky girls!

Should I ask her about Korea?

You can trust me.

I'm just really high.

I took a shit and my shit looked like a fucking stuffed animal!

I wanna hear green day

Boobs! Boobs, boobs, boobs!

HOW DARE YOU!!!

We've been watching you on E! It's the coolest thing.

No, we're listening to Rent!

Did you try the Ova-Sure?

- Are you serious right now? - Yeah.

Hey! Good news.

to drag you into a relationship with me. It's just not fair.

Well, maybe it's 'cause Steely Dan gargles my balls.

I’m not your bounce bounce bounce bounce bounce bounce bounce

- Alice. - Allison. Hi.

Thanks for warning me, man.

Now, where are you? You're at a fucking bar mitzvah in San Francisco,

Are you two together?

What would you do?

What if it kicked 'cause it didn't like it?

Dabo like a the way the dick tastes

That guy has 12 kids. It's not funny. It's...

You gotta know all the tricks.

My brain when I catch feelings for a girl again

No, I'm not. Okay? Thank you.

Okay, we're almost home! One, two...

Slow down, man. You're making me look like a jackass.

because they're not right for each other.

Well, what'd you do last Wednesday night when you said you went to see a band?

Maybe you should listen to your friend.

I'm not going to India. You can go to India.

What are we gonna do now?

Here ya go.. the anticipation was killing us!

You’re watching five nights at Freddy’s high school on PBS Kids

I got to go meet gynecologists with Allison.

Fuck me harder Adam

- I can run out. I'll get some more. - Nah, it's no big deal.

But then they'll go down. And then they'll stay down.

Dude, every movie with Jews, we're the ones getting killed.

and she's nice and her hair always looks different.

Let's not get ahead of ourselves.

Okay, I feed your bear the grass?

Dude, I think he’s doing the obesity thing too much. That’s really all he’s got.

he's gonna buy me the ring that I deserve and...

to that night and I would maybe put a condom on Ben's dick.

PEOPLE THINK I'M SMART BECAUSE I TALK IN A ROBOT VOICE

How long does this one take?

She looks smart

Get up! Let's go!

Yeah, I can do that. I'm... I'm really nervous.

Debbie is a freak of nature.

It's like, I can't come here with Debbie.

We break into this stranger's house

I guess I was wrong.

What are you talking about?

Great. It's gonna be that night.

I feel really bad about, like, a lot of the shit I did.

Hey. Hey, you okay?

No, Steve, don't be an asshole! Come on.

She wants to hold me in, and she was telling Allison she could train you.

When the planet is on fire and nobody is talking about it

It's not my birth plan.

I'll just jerk it later. It's cool.

- No personal questions. - No personal questions.

What? No. But no, I'm not comfortable with that. I'm not.

- Trust me, you're not even close. - Okay.

She thinks she could train me?

I'm a patient of Dr. Howard's,

- I'll stop. - Please, please, please!

Oh, shit, the cops.

Really? I thought there was lot of money in porn.

You old as fuck

We're past the point of an epidural. Okay? The cervix is fully dilated.

Think we'll ever be as happy as Baby Björn couple is?

I'll give you a little time alone, there.

- I'm the father? - Yes.

I don't know how it works. It just works, okay? Just do it.

We're fine. We're golden.

Yeah. That's what it sounds like for everyone.

I raped you to be become my wife

Have you calmed down? Did you take a breath?

He's always going off to these business meetings at odd hours.

Are you really?

- How the fuck could this happen? - I don't know.

I don't know. I'm gonna have to look him up on his stupid website.

You're old af. For this club. Not, you know, for the earth

You to Hughton after he gets you promoted...

- and his hot little Mohawk. - His Mohawk.

Ron wants to rear your team!

You do everything exactly the same.

- I'm sorry, let me take that again. - Okay.

- Yeah. - I mean, if this hadn't happened,

- You want out of the bet? - I want out of the bet.

- That does not work at all. - No?

I'm gonna have to kill you.

Am I gonna be okay, man?

Don't even bother.

'Cause Debbie's a pain in the ass and Pete's awesome.

but I would just like to say, fuck you, hormones!

I'm really turned on by his sort of skinny awkwardness

How can I help you?

Did i have sex with James Matthew Redmond last night James Matthew Redmond