Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

TARQUIN FIN-TIM-LIN-BIN-WHIN- BIM-LIN-BUS-STOP-F'TANG-F'TANG- OLE-BISCUITBARREL--

WELL, A BIT... AN HOUR.

HELLO, FROM HARPENDEN.

TO THE FAIRFAX ATKINSON TROPHY

Officer: 32,108.

AND THAT'S ALL FOR THIS WEEK, BUT TO CLOSE OUR PROGRAM

HE'S ENGAGED TO ME.

Woman: FINALLY, ADD THE SLICED MEAT

A FULLY MOTORIZED PIG

AND APPARENTLY WALES IS NOT SWINGING AT ALL.

TO THE NUMBER OF VOTES CAST.

THERE WERE SOME PEOPLE

( fires pistol )

WHAT DO YOU MAKE OF THE NYLON DOT CARDIGAN

I DIDN'T ORDER ANY DUNG.

NO, SUPER... WELL, I THINK

I'M SORRY, BUT...

I'M ABSOLUTELY FLAT BROKE.

THE POLLING'S BEEN QUITE HEAVY IN BOTH AREAS.

EYES DOWN FOR FIRST PRIZE--

MIND YOU, AT LEAST SHE CAN ACT A BIT.

A PRIZE WHICH THEY CAN FLOG BACK

( cheering and applause )

YOU'RE MY ONLY CHANCE.

( counting in gibberish )

Man: BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH.

NO, I JUST WANT TO GET MARRIED.

COULD BE A BIT OF TROUBLE THERE.

WELL, THE CHARABANC'S HERE.

( romantic musicplaying )

NOW, THIS IS A SILENT FILM

SO PERHAPS YOU COULD TALK US THROUGH IT.

LADIES, GENTLEMEN AND BOYS, PLEASE DO NOT PANIC.

WELL, WE HAVE WITH US TONIGHT ONE OF YOUR FILMS, REAR WINDOW

PLEASE GIVE YOUR LITTLE DAUGHTER THIS.

Agnes: YES, BLACK AS THE ACE OF SPADES.

( audio stops )

TO JAMES GILBERT AT LEICESTER.

WELL, NO, NO, IT WASN'T ON THE FORM.

WELL THIS IS LARGELY AS I PREDICTED

NOW HERE'S A TIME CHECK:

THEY'RE DOING A PRIZEWINNING DOCUMENTARY ON ME.

A LOUD BUZZING NOISE IN MY LEFT EAR.

POSSIBLY, POSSIBLY GASTROENTERITIS-- GERALD.