Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

[crowd laughing]
Men love to show you their masturbation practice.
My DMs are full of these Silence of the Lambs motherfuckers.
very iconic,
but no.
Yeah, I don't even know who the other two are.
♪ If you want me Show it ♪
-Huh? -[crowd laughs]
"I love sucking your cock. It makes my pussy so wet."
who bought a bunch of fruit besides bananas?
I can't let go of my husband, you know?
[crowd chuckles]
[crowd laughing]
But have you ejaculated onto a great American mind?
to get cummed on, on the face.
[crowd laughs]
[crowd laughs]
your only job as the woman
[crowd cheering, applauding]
while you repeat to yourself over and over that
And that's my husband, straight up.
"Oh, this is the biggest dick
One of my dear friends is arguably one of the top stand-up comics
[crowd laughing]
In our society,
[crowd applauding, cheering]
and the wait lists and the ports are all full."
He is a motherfucker.
the summer before, I was shooting this movie called Always Be My Maybe.
"And then, um…"
That is some 50-year-old man shit right there.
-the temperature… -[crowd laughs]
Which, to me, seems like the radiologist gave me an A++.
"She's so chill."
he was so ripped, you could see everything.
talking about how much she wants to cheat on you?"
[crowd laughs]
and just walk around in down jackets all day like this.
And I have to say that as a working mother of two…
"I'd really like to just go back to my house and fold clothes."
[crowd laughs]
…for six weeks.
…getting to take a drug-induced nap for an hour…
[crowd laughs]
when your wife and kids need you and the bathroom the most.
to eat a cold quesadilla…
-[crowd laughs] -[clicks tongue]
[crowd laughs]
She chose to get on her knees
[crowd laughs]
will not have an orgasm.
"I changed density, motherfucker, what!"
"I can rub it out to Aquaman for another year, it's fine."
[crowd laughs]
I'm not all of a sudden going to leap onto his neck
The lies will set you free!
It is.
I'm almost 40, so I have all these, like, acquaintances getting divorced right now.
You single people, you don't have to go on a playdate,
"So we're going to have to perform a colonoscopy
I'm the one leaning in while he is lying down.
You don't gotta bring a giant bag with little Ziploc baggies of Goldfish,
[crowd laughs]
"…we're going to have to stick a camera
But what I didn't know was that right before the procedure,