Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

he was so ripped, you could see everything.
Yeah, I don't even know who the other two are.
"I can rub it out to Aquaman for another year, it's fine."
[crowd laughs]
[crowd laughs]
…for six weeks.
Men love to show you their masturbation practice.
"Oh, this is the biggest dick
your only job as the woman
And I have to say that as a working mother of two…
[crowd laughs]
You don't gotta bring a giant bag with little Ziploc baggies of Goldfish,
[crowd laughing]
"And then, um…"
very iconic,
-[crowd laughs] -[clicks tongue]
I'm the one leaning in while he is lying down.
In our society,
He is a motherfucker.
talking about how much she wants to cheat on you?"
…getting to take a drug-induced nap for an hour…
but no.
My DMs are full of these Silence of the Lambs motherfuckers.
But have you ejaculated onto a great American mind?
"She's so chill."
[crowd cheering, applauding]
[crowd laughing]
One of my dear friends is arguably one of the top stand-up comics
-the temperature… -[crowd laughs]
I'm almost 40, so I have all these, like, acquaintances getting divorced right now.
It is.
That is some 50-year-old man shit right there.
[crowd laughs]
♪ If you want me Show it ♪
[crowd chuckles]
[crowd laughs]
[crowd laughs]
and just walk around in down jackets all day like this.
will not have an orgasm.
[crowd laughs]
when your wife and kids need you and the bathroom the most.
You single people, you don't have to go on a playdate,
"I'd really like to just go back to my house and fold clothes."
"So we're going to have to perform a colonoscopy
who bought a bunch of fruit besides bananas?
She chose to get on her knees
[crowd laughs]
[crowd applauding, cheering]
Which, to me, seems like the radiologist gave me an A++.
"…we're going to have to stick a camera
I'm not all of a sudden going to leap onto his neck
But what I didn't know was that right before the procedure,
to eat a cold quesadilla…
-Huh? -[crowd laughs]
"I changed density, motherfucker, what!"
and the wait lists and the ports are all full."
to get cummed on, on the face.
I can't let go of my husband, you know?
"I love sucking your cock. It makes my pussy so wet."
[crowd laughs]
while you repeat to yourself over and over that
The lies will set you free!
And that's my husband, straight up.
the summer before, I was shooting this movie called Always Be My Maybe.
[crowd laughing]