Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

and stomp on all her vegetables?

So in addition to all of that labor…

Okay? And it was good pussy juice too.

[crowd laughing]

there is all of this performing and pretending involved.

[crowd cheering, applauding]

He gotta have great timing.

And you're like, "Okay, I'm bleeding and, um…"

very sexy Asian American men.

any ounce of mainstream success in comedy,

yes, because Mexican women cheat on their husbands,

You can eat an edible at 2:00 p.m…

And I was so nervous.

That's how taboo it is for women to cheat on their husbands.

-like a hammock in the Blue Bayou, okay? -[crowd laughing]

You single people, you don't have to be nice to your mother

My husband's so smart.

So in addition to being my husband,

there's a disproportionate amount of men that do stand-up.

-[gasps] -[crowd laughs]

[crowd cheering, applauding]

And while shooting, all of my girlfriends kept on asking me,

We call them chuckle fuckers.

and I figured out that what caused that huge traffic jam was

-"She's chill." -[crowd laughs]

Fast-forward to seven years later,

and all women are very good

"Well, uh, you-- you know, the good news is that, uh,

If she got the skills to earn money, power, and respect,

And now that I'm the clear breadwinner,

[crowd chuckles]

…because you want time to yourself to binge Bridgerton to feel alive again.

and all of your responsibility in life.

And whenever we get into an argument

beautiful, gorgeous women, through the DMs.

-[crowd laughing] -"Yeah."

You know, I came this close

♪ Close your eyes Make a wish ♪

-[woman cheers] -[laughter continues]

has turned me into a 50-year-old man.

So all my underwear looks like it's been snacked on by rats.

That shit was like the "Unchained Melody" scene from Ghost…

Viscous but not too pasty.

I mean, you really think about it, that is some nutty-ass shit

-Like a tattered sail of a pirate ship. -[crowd laughing]

I was like, "I want another colonoscopy."

in front of all of these strangers,

And so then she ordered a CT scan, and the results came back.

And then my OBGYN became very concerned

The only men my mother has ever had an actual conversation with

pretends that there's a decision to be made together.

that makes a lot more money than you.

House Hunters is a show on HGTV

Truth bomb Ali Wong

and I was so busy

And in the movie,

It's very disturbing, this disparity in quality

and… you straight up just don't listen,

-I like hickeys. I love hickeys. -[crowd laughing]

if all women wanted and felt like they deserved that,