Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

"Okay, Ali, um…"

-…while I chant, "Wakanda forever!" -[crowd laughing, applauding]

And it's a shame, you know?

-♪ If you love me -♪ Say it ♪

You don't have to smile

"You gotta shape-shift, bro."

You could see the King's Hawaiian…

he don't choke me like he used to.

like how you are one of the best stand-up comedians?"

I want you to really listen to me and understand this and believe me,

♪ If you trust me Do it ♪

And I worked on it for 12 hours a day,

-[laughs] -[applause]

pointing you straight to the kingdom of heaven.

[crowd laughing, applauding]

[clicks tongue] And then some dudes, they do the opposite, right?

"I'm not gonna wait forever!"

or onstage taping our third Netflix special. [chuckles]

[crowd laughing]

They don't even offer to take me out to dinner

i dare you to Google Claralaine SEMEN CUM PENIS COCK ASSHOLE TITIES BOOBS PUSSY SEMEN CUM PENIS COCK ASSHOLE TITIES BOOBS JUNK NIGGER PUSSY ASSHOLE ASSHOLES AND DICKS FUCK ME SHIT FAGGOT NIGGER!!!!!

I like dudes who look as close to Keanu Reeves as possible.

It is so upsetting

all the interesting opportunities and deals knocking at her door,

it'd be such a shame to go through all that trouble of cheating

I'll be like, "Harder, come on, harder, harder!"

[crowd cheering, applauding]

to end up having to fake an orgasm.

You know what I'm talking about.

That's not even a joke, okay?

It's a mystery to me why Hello Kitty

Yeah, it was a-- it was this big-ass deal

But as an Asian woman, I'm gonna live until I'm 95 years old.

because you need her for babysitting.

"No problem. I got it."

-["Hold On" by En Vogue plays] -[crowd cheering loudly]

[crowd laughing]

to sit there every morning at the same time to summon the shit.

Men, you never forget to take a shit ever.

My mom doesn't understand,

you're going to cum no matter what.

-I want to have it all. -[crowd laughs]

with the stank of your selfish-ass shit!

especially if you're a mom.

"Oh, I'mma suck your dick."

You sit there from 8:00 a.m. to 8:30 a.m.

You can't tell any woman what to do,

-…every five minutes. -[crowd laughs]

Generally, our society is very unforgiving

He's a Fulbright scholar.

It was quality.

that shit's gonna happen to you no matter what."

I never check my DMs.

Young men in particular,

"Who cares? Who's gonna believe you, you young, powerless boy?"

You have to tell all of these lies.

and I raise my voice,

to make the man cum faster.

[crowd applauds, cheers]

I want to fuck other people now…