Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

Yeah, I think I'll pass.

I don't want it.

But you were all up in my beeswax checking to see if I was gonna dump you.

I'll take an Armagnac. The lady'll have a dirty martini with three olives.

Twenty-five...?

Stainer, that's just dirty pool. He's at least a six.

and the rest is rock 'n' roll history.

- Yeah. - Thank you. Me, too.

- Birth defect? What is it? - I can't tell you that, man.

Good luck there, pirate

Tom effin' Wopat, bro.

I don't remember what the specific question was, but...

I don't... God, where are my manners?

By the way, Kirk, you can do better than these guys.

This is a sticky wicket

After that I said to myself, "I'm not gonna date guys like that anymore."

Po Po Po Po Power for Bearglove

but not if it's gonna be weird for you.

Who brought the good news bears? Somebody give them some fucking honey!

- That's your big defect? - Webbed toes is not a defect!

Who brought the good news bear? Somebody give her some fucking honey.

You have any piercings you want me to know about?

Your friend’s hot

Yeah. It's called bein' a rock star, Jack.

That I thought that a guy who looks like you wouldn't hurt me?

Me when I see Lisa Hirahara

Every time someone walks into a room you compare yourself to them,

- Oh, hi. - Hi.

- a lot in common, so... Oh, fuck! - Sorry.

It's horrible to watch you like this.

Oh, you want to talk? No problem.

I think it's an ashtray?

So... that's...

- Branson, think about it. - OK.

- No. - Why would it be?

- What about your crappy car? - Artist's exemption.

- Stainer! - Fuck off! Sorry, that's yours.

Kirk and I were having dinner and he said he was

All right, Stainer, let's get outta here.

Did you get the numbers with... For the new procedures regarding planes?

I... I'm... I love, love, to experiment,

- Kirk? - Excuse me.

And he's funny, so that's half a point each. That brings him to six.

You're so special and God, I just...

- Yeah, yeah, you got it. - You feel that tolerance?

- Oh, that would be amazing. - OK.

Po Po Po Po Power with Bearglove

Can you pick 'em up for me?

What can I say? Yeah, yeah

I mean, I'd ballpark that somewhere around 50 grand.

Po Po Po Po Power with BEARGLOVE!!!

Shoot! Kirky! Kirky!

Now, I tried to get him off, but they threw me off the plane!

You were just never good enough for you.

Kirky, I truly believe that...

- Yeah. - Trust it.

And he also, he has long legs and...

Remember when you got the flu? I didn't party that weekend.

She's comin' to lunch with my parents on Sunday.

Like Great expectations. Have you read that book? Its so wierd

I think there's nothing gay about it.

Wait... "Guys like that?" So, what, you're just...

Kirk! We're solid, baby!

but I just want to say I forgive you and we are going to go to Branson,

I'm watching him while my folks are on vacation.

I was explicitly told that you wouldn't be here today.

...if I were wearing any.

OK, anyway... I love Kirky, but let's face it, the guy's a five.

You stand up, you get in front of her. You get right in her grill and you say,

...on your sweater vest. It's something!

I brought a girl with me, so I am begging you,

Hey! Hey, let's go meet them.

- Yeah, no, you should go. It's fun. - Thanks. OK.

Whatever. Like that dick never came to work with a buzz on.

I marked that down in my calendar as a day of rejoicement.

So fuck you, Debbie.

I've shaved approximately one-third of my balls.

Você entende de Balística Forense?? Não! Não entendo nada!

"Is this real silver? This is gorgeous stuff."

And it wouldn't matter if it was jetliners or cargo planes or whatever.

This is supposed to happen. This isn't how this works.

that from the second she broke up with you,

- Oh, there's my parents! - What?

You feel that tolerance?!

I'm gonna need some gravy fries when I get back.

Moll, what about this for your date tonight?

- A little. - Little bit.

- Nope. - Why won't you tell me?

I got it for Valentine's Day, right before she broke up with me.

Anyway, I'm bored of me. What about you?

Like, what, do I just talk about her ridiculous hotness for two hours?

- No. - Stuffed mushroom?

I wanted to go to college, but my dad bought a swimming pool instead.

Thank you, Mr. Friedman. Tomorrow.

- Let's go, go, go! - OK.

You're here because some other girl has shown interest.

- Jesus, man. Goddamn it. - Did you guys get a picture?

- I nearly... - Kirk, shut up. Let me speak.

Kirk, can I talk to you for a second?

Wait. You have a date with Kirk?

But I'm here to tell you that I don't care if you want to be a pilot,

- Why is she here? - She came with me.

Well, Devon, I would never josh you. She said, "I think your friend is hot."

Is this real silver? This is gorgeous stuff.

You lied about me to your parents right in front of me!

- Yeah. - You wanna watch the Jap show?

- Actually, Cam, we haven't... - God as my witness, I'll get her back.

- She was my Molly. - You never mentioned her.

- Nope. - Interesting.

Like Sex Yoda. "The Force is strong with you, Jack."

...gonorrhea, herpes and stuff. I don't want that.

Don't worry about it, man...

- TSA. Moving on... - No. no. no. Let's not move on.

We're doin' a NASCAR theme in Vegas.

- Kirky, look at David Archuleta. - Can I help you?

- That's what I'm talkin' about. - Mom?

I shoulda seen it coming, too, 'cause she was a ten. Like a hard ten.

Yeah, I was up first.