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Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips
Why do you even care?
How about now?
Not that horny, Jerry.
Well I think so but.
The kind of thing you'd find at a Supercuts in Puerto Rico.
I'm assuming the number is less than 25%
and I think there's a dead mouse in my garbage disposal.
He has a very high opinion of me,
Were they one per tree?
was literally Bareback Ryder.
is to be a disgustingly rich philanthropist
Okay I skimmed the "Iliad".
your girlfriend Todd.
language is fluid.
Well you can't be an actress in Seattle.
because the smaller you are the less likely
Baby!
in the face and he died.
Okay first of all, who says that?
The deal-breaker is that you have to be
That would never fucking happen!
I'm watching more documentaries.
It's a waste.
and it's probably not even human sperm.
Shut the fuck up!
The toaster is always on unless you unplug it,
why she'd be attracted to Jonah
So fun.
No it's not.
No.
Oh, sorry I just have,
us intellectually and physically and emotionally,
And copulation is only intended for reproduction,
Right because I'm the asshole in this situation.
Maybe you're bisexual.
Oh God look at that.
"Taxi Driver" and "Cloverfield" so I get the idea.
Your parents pay me.
- You're gay. - You don't know that.
and I was looking for a job.
and apparently I'm gonna see you seven more times
Hypothetically yes.
You were in a porn video?
In the play it's obvi that he has the hots for Skipper.
because the truth is, and I know
Ay man, no, please, not again-- (Hazel hits Nutshell)
His character, his character was gay.
so we can eliminate the rest let's be honest.
I did say you were living in the Philippines,
but I have an egodystonic sexual orientation
would you still love her?
Yeah I try to avoid it.
- Sesame. - Nice.
everything that is ultimately wrong with the world
Are you sure you're a boy?
- What? - I said do
Do you wanna be my girlfriend?
Now you're just being silly.
I used to say third but I don't wanna be unrealistic,
My best friend was date raped in college.
Oh right, you're still unemployed?
before you die.
- Your parents? - They've had their time.
Well that's not allowed.
its whole fucking meaning.
No I'm not.
Like they were relieved that you were a girl
Which I get 'cause I have that, so
- Not with that attitude. - Todd, I am too smart
It's okay I'll vacuum later,
Oh well it's two girls,
Except he got addicted to heroin,
because I don't like sickness or endings or poop
into a category of sexual identity
Tonight then I guess?
- Get up, Todd! - I will always love you.
but you actually may be somewhat straight.
I'll talk to you in a second.
- Was that a joke? - Was it not funny?
you're smart and you're funny
It's a hypothetical situation Craig.
and I fall asleep hugging a panda
and neither of my only two friends are taking me seriously.
he stole a bunch of money from my nana,
Oh yeah, yeah I own like all the seasons on DVD.
My momma wanted me to go to Ohio State
Everything under the sun.
won't you please just just give me a smile?
Baby if you love me,
Todd do you like gay sex?
I enjoy spanking.
You guys ready?
Ah I win!
Oh my God it is you hi!
- You shouldn't. - I know.
the feeling when you learn there's a word
We didn't just think he was gay. He was gay.
Yeah you'd get shanked in prison, Todd.
but I need you to breath. Alright?
he said so in our last session.
Does thinking about vomit make you wanna poo?
See he's in my head!
How did you find me?
That only leaves eight potential could mates on the high end
to label me so.
when the UV rays are the most potent
There's a 44% chance that I'll develop
18 but don't worry,
What are you doing here?
like gay define me.
Oh so sex is the white elephant
Dare obviously.
No it's the elephant in the room!
because it's considered good luck
The food here sucks!
"Fuck can I just do what makes me happy?"
Hi nice to meet you.
have I seen you in anything?
Well I doubt many people would
you don't want him to say.
I almost went to Yale because of that show.
- Have you? - No but I've seen
I already know.
- Instilled. - What?
It's not a hobby, it's a way of life.
Don't tell him that.
She wants me to have kids and she wants me
You're such a tattletale.
I've always dismissed the possibility