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Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips
What kind of bagel are you having?
Why am I telling you this?
My problem with you Todd,
- when they're in love. - When they're in love.
Do you come here a lot?
passionate sex is a hurdle for any couple.
Also objectively to a random bystander who didn't know
Yeah he's okay.
Anyway you have to come.
sure, but it's not like a heart transplant.
Oh I thought I saw Amy Adams at Trader Joes.
how'd you pay rent?
- Oh my God yes. - You can't book anything
the fucking cake with Todd that would be ironic.
Oh I found this cool website called SeeYourFolks.com
What's the difference?
We're doing cake bitches.
I didn't know if you could get away with auditions and all.
Good for you.
but don't spaz I'm sure he won't say anything
because there's been no fucking consummation.
I dare you to switch clothes with me.
complaining about how I was gonna be alone forever.
- It's convincing. - I can practice later.
Work is good, my boss wanted me to decorate my cubicle.
Don't lecture me, I know it's fucked.
But you're a great actress.
I knew it.
that millennials over share
Todd!
because I like to talk a lot,
so I'm gonna sandwich technique this for you.
I have a deviated septum,
- Baby did you and Todd ever? - No.
that you can easily apprehend.
Stop making Paul Newman gay.
and I was like, "I know I'm sorry."
I would've guessed Hungarian.
I'm sorry I missed you but please leave your name,
Hey, are you okay?
So you have a biological imperative
Me too.
Okay it's on a shelf but you have a gun,
Oh I do save the red skittles for last.
Right. Preston is pretentious.
Arguing about an Alanis Morissette song
- we wanna get rid of. - we wanna get rid of okay,
Afraid of the truth Todd?
Every male should have a vasectomy at birth,
implementation would be impossible.
Oh yeah, yeah lots of times.
and carpooled to Chipotle?
What if a very smart, beautiful woman married a stupid man?
Oh I'm just kidding sorry,
- Okay. - And no frowning
He's lying.
and those are things you can't give.
- What? - I would have fired you
And I don't recall you attempting to sex me either
And you must be Rory.
but I'm sure he would love you.
like Paul Newman and trying to be Paul Newman all the time
"every year for a female troll."
Are you happy?
No you're mixed up, the white elephant is the unborn baby.
That was good Rory.
Are you?
He's also a model but mostly underwear.
a couple of licks and it didn't mean anything.
Stop I love already.
Todd I'm sorry.
All right here's why you have kids.
when you got in but Jamie called in sick,
Then Todd I think you might be gay.
You know Todd,
Every Thursday we watch a documentary
- You were enough. - Rory name a social issue.
- Abortion. - Okay yes.
And how would you like me to extrapolate that statement?
I don't know.
Baby I love you but I just can't smile.
it's the second door on your right.
But seriously if I died now
What about Jerry?
You've been a bad, bad boy Jerry.
So it's like hell yeah no more day job!
I'm sorry, ignore me,
Is that what the world needs to hear?
that exactly describes what you're feeling.
my dad wouldn't hug me, he'd just shake my hand.
Todd, hey Todd.
Okay both of you stop.
our friend Socrates?
No I'm completely alone.
Okay fine but if you get bored and you wanna leave,
the gay people you've been meeting.
on any given day over the next half century
- Or Gandhi. - Maybe Harriet Tubman
Yeah well.
You can find all those qualities in a decorative pillow.
Well you tell it better.
you sucked Jerry's gay willy willingly.
This is a real relationship.
I'd be like, "Hey sorry man,
so take a minute and then we'll try again.
And that's why.
Pleased to meet you, I'm Topanga.
that you haven't found yourself.
you sucked Steve's dick willy willingly
- I'm not. - Well that's your
we have a video of Todd doing the Macarena
If you met a man with all of Rory's qualities,
Okay are you ready?
we're just throwing the towel early.
I don't have to answer that.
Why would James Bond make me kill a baby?
It keeps shutting me down.
it's just like why?
and you give great back massages which let's be honest,
Is this seat taken?
I mean if Helen Keller can learn to talk,
this isn't the '60s.
I've slept with bisexuals.
I don't think that I'm that transparent,
with one of your organs, would you?
Your date rape friend?
Well apparently I can't be one here either.
White on rice.
or I'm gonna kill you", what would you do?
Because you're not listening to me.
- Okay thanks. - Yeah bye-bye.
Okay I'm sorry, why are you getting so angry?
Yes it is, it's derived from the short story,
Well it wouldn't be ironic.
Rory is the first girl that you've brought home.
It is a school night!
You're all very talented but show's over.
I bet he's one of those guys
Truth or dare.
You don't put toast in a toaster.
I'm so glad we had this talk.
you could meet the right guy.
a surgeon for doctor's without boarders