Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

Some of the greats and not-so-greats have sat here.
So, what do you do when you're not pretending to be an FBI agent?
(woman on TV) We must look into computer fraud.
- They have things to do. - Like?
He went through my things!
Education, healthcare, environmental issues.
Saturday Night Live wants you. What do you think?
(Danny) Does he believe you?
We're not hearing anything about long lines at the booths or other snafus.
- Mr. Dobbs! - They don't know what to do.
Yeah.
The order of those, as well as the formal questioning tonight, were decided in advance by drawing.
- A great manager. - A great manager.
It's improbable, me winning the election.
They thought I was wild in the karaoke? Watch me in the next two weeks.
I... I think you need help.
It should be duly noted, Chairman,
I don't vote. To be honest with you, I don't vote.
(Eleanor sighs)
You can see an old lady wearing a flag thong and go, Grandma, don't tell me where Old Glory is!
I, uh, I never really sat behind a desk before. I mean, the one on the show is just a prop. This... (whistles)
- You're going to be President of the United States. - Yeah.
It's just been confirmed that comedian Tom Dobbs has won Arizona.
It's not a bad idea really, is it? Part West Wing, part Bachelor. Hey, that's not bad.
Maybe I haven't disclosed enough, and that really isn't easy for me, especially now that I know you...
Mr. President-elect, I'm on a bit of a tight schedule.
- Now, was that your motive? - No.
How many analogies do you have left?
Kid driving the truck is from Pittsburgh. Apparently he lost control on the ice, went right off the road.
- Hit 'em again! - And we're trying to reenter the country legally!
First of all, thank you, Faith. And thank all of you who are responsible for having us here.
But in all three states, the numbers are very close.
Who believes you? Who's gonna believe you?
- She knows this? For sure? - Yeah.
Finally one turns to the other and goes, My God, I hope nothing happened to him.
Listen, you could vote for someone better. You can do a lot better than me.
OK, so he wasn't really elected, but if he hadn't told anyone...
You're kidding me? Aw, come on!
It was a grass-roots movement fueled by the power of the internet
Where's the governor being your brother? The Supreme Court ruling against the voter?
TV puts everybody in those boxes side by side.
They waited in an alleyway. They were supposed to kill Hitler at 12:30. They have guns, bombs, knives.
Yes, indeed, dear. Contestant No. 2, your name?
(# Bohemian Like You by the Dandy Warhols)
Double G's before double L's.
If you've ever been through passport control, you stand in line with thousands of people,
I have an eye for that and you wouldn't be on my dangerous list.
Oh, my God.
The Delacroy voting system is your baby. You're a perfectionist and you wanna make it more perfect,
- This is nuts. - When I was a kid, I was in the circus.
Bottom line is it was a computer error. Not fraud, but a faulty program.
I would take myself out for dinner, bring myself home,
Any thoughts as to the makeup of your cabinet?
(siren)
If I'm correct, comedian Tom Dobbs has won every state where he's been on the ballot.
Congress decided that Delacroy Systems would have the national franchise
Double B's before double G's.
Now, Senator Mills has very strong numbers, but not strong enough to beat President Kellogg.
In Chicago I'm doing the same thing I've been doing. That's how I got here.
When I first saw you, I liked you because you were different, new.
No smoking in the hydrogen... Boom! Hindenburg!
you owe someone something somewhere down the line.
We have a lot to live up to.
I never met anybody who'd say, Hey, did you see JAG last night?
(woman) Stand by, lights, for cue one.
On September 2nd something very, very unusual happens.
(dramatic music)
I was thinking that would bring a lot of people back to the Church.
I wanna keep doing it because I sense that'll work.
Ladies and gentlemen, it's now time for the campaign.
The Boston Tea Party wasn't people going, Oh, hello.
So, what do you really do?
You started in the tent, you're back in the tent.
I never told you which gigs to take, I only advised,
But when I found out about his radical environmental policy, I went, Mm-mm.
- She knows what she's talking about. - That's debatable.
Helicopter pad in the back, couple of thousand phone lines, staff of 60. Come on.
Did she mention that she had a bad drug problem? She had a breakdown here.
Oh, this is so insane. Insanity, it's sweet insanity!
- is she applying for a job with you? - No.
cant be a joke
- It's that apparent? - Yeah.
You figured out the computer glitch. You should be paid.
- So you don't want to be a part of the reelection? - Oh, no. Please. No, that's not a stage I belong on.
and some critics have said that too.
Gentlemen, again, good evening and welcome. Let's begin.
I wanted to see you.
Tell me which dinner is gonna be more interesting.
I wanted to look like a Kennedy, but I think they set it on George Hamilton.
Shit!
- What channel? - Any channel.
I'm looking at the toxology report. It's overwhelming.
Maybe I should.