Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

But even in the face of tyranny there is comedy. Two old Jews were sent to kill Hitler.

there are roughly 7-8,000 slots to be filled, 1500 of which will require Senate confirmation.

Everything they say seems credible. And so, as it goes on, nothing seems credible anymore.

You're off the hook in terms of being involved in any attempt to fix the election.

I think she may have figured out the glitch.

That's my ex-wife, who I am not on good terms with. I just farted a little while back there.

You don't find this a little bit absurd?

I don't know. I don't know where I am. It's dark, there's a factory,

It's a pretty closed-up system, and it's gonna move up quickly...

but what we've seen since then is that the public apparently sees him as a candidate for change.

Next thing you know they have to deal with the special interests,

Can you go see Tom right away? He thinks he screwed up.

- Tom, we've gotta get to Saturday Night Live. - There's time.

It's a little too late now.

But the results of the election will be wrong! One candidate will win because of computer error.

I like a dirty environment, if you know what I mean.

How many of you think the educational system is working?

Look at the human body. Is it intelligent? I find it more interesting.

Excuse me, Mr. President.

Recently, a lot of the past administrations said it's unpatriotic to question the government.

We're talking about freedom of speech. And freedom of religion -

Don't get off track.

You have a busy schedule. Keep your head in that. Period.

Did you know there were once ads

Shouldn't you be giving that up?

(press corps shouting)

That's where most of the money goes in any political campaign.

And very early tomorrow morning.

- Yes. - How do you turn the music down?

President-elect Tom Dobbs paid an impromptu visit to Congress

- for tonight's 90-minute debate which is coming... - Cute.

(Eleanor) Yeah?

Hey, pick up a couple of cartons of cigarettes for Menken. They're cheaper on the road.

But NASA actually spent $28 million

(Mathias) This is a meet-and-greet, nothing more.

Mr. Dobbs, how would you explain your decision to run for President of the United States?

Because it's a great opportunity. Say you were blinded by love, you didn't know she was popping pills.

that this not a scheduled visit, it is not on the docket for today, it's not really official,

Yes, sir. I'm in her hotel now.

Look, Tom, I don't know what to do... Hello?

(Eddie chuckles)

I'm just here just making sure everything's secured.

I made a mess. I've made a mess.

- Do it. - (Tom) Some of these measures are already tough.

- She had to be hospitalized. - No, she didn't mention that.

It was a lot of guys in Boston going, Here's your tea, right here!

We've never run a configuration like this ballot, so I thought I'd give it a test drive.

- You want me to be the turkey? - Yeah.

comedian Tom Dobbs is leading.

How plausible is it that a woman would fix an election because she's obsessed with me?

I had an ex who used to do enough tranquillizers to put a flock of sheep to sleep.

He's so sensitive, someone once asked, What do you think of gay marriage?

- Do you want a better healthcare system? - (cheering)

- What do you think I'm unhappy about? - You agreed to play the turkey.

It's alphabetical.

You're a good candidate, Tom - as loony as that seems - but... (groans)

You touched my things. What is wrong with you?

- Come on. - (Jack) Tom, go for it.

- How about Virginia? - Virginia's OK, but Debbie... Such a slut!

Well, Menken thinks it's for the best. No sense postponing the inevitable.

should be included in debates. Unquote.

In hindsight, not one of their better decisions.

Tom Dobbs has been gaining momentum since the debate.

Oh, no. No, no, no. I don't have a drug problem.

- (Tom) Thank you for picking that one up. - Where's he going with this?

They thought I was wild in the debate? Watch me in the next two weeks.

- Hi. I'm Amy Poehler. - I'm Tina Fey. And here are tonight's top stories.

Remember the motto It's no joke? It's no joke!

I got a promotion. They're sending me to Ireland.

I am in total agreement, without equivocation,

You'll get a more interesting cross section than the folks you got right now. I guarantee it.

- It doesn't bother me. - I hate to interrupt,

Listen. We're staffing up right now and...

Oh, shit. Why does he have to get himself into this mess?