Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

Education, healthcare, environmental issues.

A Malaysian man, famous for pulling planes and buses with his hair,

The Statue of Liberty says, Give me your tired, your poor,

My name is Miss Sogyny.

'Cause we're gonna go real, girl. But here's the deal. A lot of you voted for me, or at least some of you.

Well, apparently it is, 'cause this is taking forever.

Based on what? Guessing. Listen, this is your project, Eleanor.

we can have a sense of humor about ourselves. We have to.

Our exit polls have only in some cases proven accurate.

I definitely was, yes. I did inhale, because I thought, What the hell? I'll inhale it.

Well, it was a small cutback, actually.

We are, my friend, in uncharted waters.

Deep drill, you know? Get down in the mud and take it home, daddy. That's how I feel.

but Kellogg trumps him with double G's and you trump him with double B's.

I... I just want to be truthful.

And in the process, people get neglected.

Um... do they have listening devices?

Well, Tina, I have just one question: is this a face that a woman would be obsessed with?

If Mama Cass had shared a sandwich with Karen Carpenter, they both would be alive today.

I know it's ironic I'm talking like I'm concerned. I don't even vote.

- Oh, staffing up? No, that's not what I meant. - OK.

And here's the real question: it's like, if that's not why, what is the real answer?

On one side there's this certifiable lunatic who says the Holocaust never happened.

There's no pop, zing. There's no oomph.

It's been a pleasure, Mr. President. Thank you.

- Press conference set up? - Uh, yeah. What the hell's going on?

In the bowels of the building, something else was about to take place.

- Are you all right? - No!

I mean, I don't know. Look, I don't know.

(host) Yeah, there are two of them. Got almost $3,000 in that kitty.

- Cappuccino? - Yes. Thanks.

Also, remember the best birth control, ladies. The best birth control and the cheapest is simply this.

You're either getting on that plane or not.

- But it's my mess! It's my mess and I'll clean it up. - OK.

There's a plane there. We'll get on that plane, I'll take you to New York and we'll solve your problem. OK?

Forensic scientists say they have recreated George Washington as he looked at age 19,

eventually you get to an immigration officer who takes your passport.

- Do it. - Why?

- No problem? - We move on.

He's talking about hydrogen fuel. He wants an amendment to the Constitution on flag-burning.

That will surprise more than a few of the experts.

- Hey, Angus. Cappuccino. - Can't you see he's busy getting mine right now?

That's weird. She doesn't seem like the type.

That was part one of the unusual progression of events.

Why did you tell him?

You're running because the people wanted you to run.

- That's not why I'm here. - That's all right. This is my personal cell.

At 7 p.m. Tom Dobbs, who had a successful cable show featuring political comedy,

Richard Pryor in his prime, or Kofi Annan, the head of the U.N.?

(mumbles) Double B... double L... double G.

they bring up a constitutional amendment to ban burning of the flag.

While President Kellogg and Senator Mills

I didn't tell him. He's just making a joke. We'll talk about it later, honestly. It's OK.

Well, I don't know if she's enrolled in the program, I'll tell you that.

- A little bit of a tan. - Thanks. I went to a tanning salon.

- You don't believe her, do you? - I do. It's true.

Her motives aren't quite clear to us,

Now, the FBI cleared up any suspicion that you knew Eleanor Green before the election.

I guess that absolves you of any conspiratorial thing that you fixed the election.

- There's a lot to discuss here. - Yeah. I think...

- I guess we both have a problem in that area. - Yeah. Yeah.

What do you mean? How?

Maybe Tom Dobbs had something to do with it. Who knows?

- My mess. - (woman) Can someone call 911?

for computerized voting in the coming presidential election.

I'll remember this, ladies and gentlemen. It's an old phrase,

Good night, Danny.

There seems to be a link between smoking and heart disease. Or am I just making that up?

You didn't tell him, did you? I mean...

- You realize that's what it is for us. We're like cats. - (laughter)

Pretty much the bottom line. If I was in Italy I might get lucky.

They're just trying to pay you off.

(Tina) A report suggests that more species of birds mate for life than previously believed,

- I didn't win? - Not even close.

Well, yeah. He sounds different. That's why they can hear him.

- She said it made the sex with me more bearable. - Eleanor didn't do drugs.

If this is a debate, you should answer questions honestly.

Yeah. Besides, Secret Service already flagged you and I said you were OK.

to the level of undisciplined behavior Tom Dobbs exhibited.

(man) This is what we got going on today.

I-I'll call you tomorrow, OK?

Eleanor, tomorrow at 11 o'clock I'm gonna have a press conference

You guys have a fight?

OK? And, Tom, with all due respect, how are you gonna come off as family-friendly?

Tom Dobbs has not spent one cent.

We deal in weapons of mass distraction. They push your buttons.

...compared to a network show, he has been extremely influential in some smaller circles.

What? Are you calling me a liar?

There are no red and blue states, there's only the United States of America. That's what we're about.

The bottom line is, they've lost track of what they're responsible for.

That being said, if I had my druthers, I'd love an all-lesbian cabinet.

- I did not have sex with that woman. - (laughter)

It'd be fun to think about what they're doing behind closed doors.

Over eight million emails.

You gotta cut loose. In this debate, get your show attitude in there.

I know it's the right thing to do, so why do I feel like this?

They have to deal with oil companies, chemical companies, drug companies, and they owe them.

- Anyway, happy birthday again. - Again? Did another year just pass?