Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

In the Times, 60% of the voters would've voted for Dobbs if they could.
Jack? Jack?
- my love to them, my love to all of you who... - What?!
(Tom) They're trying to discredit her. She's not psychotic, OK?
(# Political World by Bob Dylan)
It's not good for the stock offering, really.
We just stop listening.
- Just Tom Dobbs. - Good.
He will.
so he ignored the memo and hoped the problem would go away.
- Yeah, maybe. - The wing is...
It looks as if Delaware now is going to President Kellogg by a very close margin.
(Jack) He was bigger than ever.
You do what you did tonight and things could get really interesting.
Very easy, writes upside down, zero gravity. After two cases of vodka, still writing.
The issue revolves around representation. The people of America are not being represented.
I mean, did I do the right thing or did I do the wrong thing?
- I taught Tom everything he knows about comedy. - Except how to be funny.
Let it go. Nothing good can possibly come from revealing what happened.
And that's all the information that we have at this time. I'll take any questions now, if you got 'em. Yes?
I'm even afraid of NyQuil.
Did you forget the first time we met her, she said she was working for the FBI?
- You have one minute remaining on your time. - Needs a little more flare.
Come on. You're kidding me.
Also Pope Benedict has mechanized the Swiss Guard
Thank you. Nice tie.
I think it has to do with the fact that I figured everything out.
Like, hello, they've got lobbyists to deal with. They've got trips the lobbyists have sent them on.
I got the ballot from San Mateo so I thought I'd run my own election
President Johnson said he wanted to accuse his opponents of having sex with animals. OK?
(Jack) Shortly thereafter, Tom Dobbs went back to his political comedy show.
Thank you so much.
- Too fast? - No, I'm fine.
practicing any religion you want, anytime, anywhere.
She said she knew what the computer glitch was. Now it'll be a couple of days before we can find out.
We're not just talking liberal or conservative - big-time change.
Then I... I have an idea: don't vote for the congressmen or senators.
And then...
Here's the very latest. Dobbs is running at about 17% in the 13 states where he's on the ballot.
Do you want to destroy this company? Because that's what you may do.
Yeah!
Anybody who's ever been married knows it's always the same sex!
(Eleanor) I wish I hadn't told him.
I know that she was fired by Delacroy.
- Has Eleanor called the headquarters yet? - No.
Mr. Stewart would like to see you at Delacroy.
You talked too fast - couldn't understand you half the time - but you were fresh.
I'm not kidding. They grow these big beards. In the wild they rub it on trees.
You're in love with her. She could tell you Gandhi ate hot dogs and you'd believe her. Take a look at this.
I hope this doesn't sound silly, but the other two candidates are family men.
we are the most powerful nation on this planet,
Just be entertaining. Look at it this way. Who would you rather have dinner with:
You like our Tom Dobbs, do you?
he may have scored points.
- Listen, Eleanor, I'm with the President. - What?
while Tom Dobbs has recreated how Thomas Jefferson would've looked if he were crazy.
Mr. President, I'll just be a minute. Thank you.
Why is that so bad?
You're so thoughtful.
- Hey, Angus, do you have any of those cookies I like? - God, can you please just let me get my cappuccino?
It's about the same. We're pretty easily amused.
- I was just giving him my order. It's not a big deal. - It's not a big deal.
...inner cities, infrastructure, environmental issues - that's what's before us.
If it was unpatriotic to question the government, we'd still be English!
Well, in LA, maybe.
- If that sounds familiar, it's the same Eleanor Green... - Menken!
No, I'm...
(Tom) I need some information. Strictly confidential, just between you and me.
She kept saying, Double B, double G, double L. It's like a code.
(laughs)
I emailed you. I told you I thought there was something wrong with the system.
Are you tired of having twice as many lobbyists as they've ever had before?
OK.
I'm tired of the Republican Party and of the Democratic Party.
What? You can fix my problem?
Who? Who are they?
and the enormously important role that they play in our failure or success -
- No. - Yes. I used to shave elephants.
It's like the comic who gets to play Carnegie Hall but shows up and plays the violin.
It seems that this has probably straightened out some of those voting problems of the past.
You can either get off the Mayflower or have four girls in a Cadillac.
A jester doesn't rule the kingdom, he makes fun of the king.
Happy Thanksgiving.
(cheering)
As you can see, President Kellogg is winning by a small margin over Senator Mills in Rhode Island,
(Eleanor screams)
Should I be impressed?
...close to the vest.
but the Secret Service wants you outta here by dark.
Happy birthday, Mr. Menken.
Laid off? I thought they were making the big bucks. That's weird.
But we can celebrate the process. The democratic process which we hold so dear will have worked.
Why do you think they wanted you to run? To listen to you talk about issues? Are you kidding me?
(audience laughter)