Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

-(BRAYING) -(CREATURE GROWLING)

-(DRUM ROLL PLAYING) -The toy who thinks he's a boy.

Of course, this never would've happened

Last night, the Carabinieri arrested Stromboli and put him in jail!

But did you know, many people say that you're not actually real

You're wrong, Lampy. I still call what you did cheating.

The problem with that one clock, it talks too much.

(DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING)

Hey mullet head let us out Aw don't worry girls I've prepared a front row seat for you

Tomorrow we have a big show in Siena.

-Whoa! -(MEOWING)

Wait. No. I'm coming to you.

(TENSE MUSIC PLAYING)

Oh, who cares what he thinks? His pedagogy is completely outdated.

and the greatest theatrical maestro on the face of the earth...

-Hey! This is more like it. -(BLUE FAIRY CHUCKLES)

Better yet, have two. Bottoms up!

-Jiminy Cricket, temporary conscience? -Well, then, I want to go to school.

You'll learn all about it in school.

What the cuss is that all about?

-I know I can talk. And so can you. -"I know I can talk. And so can you."

(RINGING STOPS)

Hey. What's the big idea? Get me out of here!

(WATER BUBBLES)

Thanks, Pinoke. Now, swing me towards the lock.

(FIREWORKS SHOOTING)

Not ríðikœľusü pųpeís. Pųpeís bíłøŋğ îñ þe pųpei şo.

Jiminy. Father. Help! Help!

You went to school. You gave it the old college try.

Yes, yes, we're all together again. Isn't it wonderful?

They're both gone.

PINOCCHIO: How do I do that?

Where do you suppose all the kids went, Lampy?

They just don't understand, do they, Cleo? My clocks, they mean everything to me.

And what did the wise and learned schoolmaster say?

An actor's life is gay

(AUDIENCE EXCLAIMING)

-A tiny boat? -Yes, a dinghy.

He said I didn't belong. All the kids laughed at me.

"Mastro Geppetto. Wood-carver, fabricator of clocks, toys, oddments."

And despite a few minor blended family issues...

You see that key hanging on the wall?

Attaboy, Pinoke. Now you're cooking. Let's get out of here.

Fuck you Jiminy! Pinocchio, if you don't shut the fuck up I'll have to punch you in the fathead.

-(DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING) -(CREATURES GROWLING)

Actually, it's a story that begins once upon a time, a long time ago.

Father, wake up.

Well, I wouldn't want that on my conscience.

I wasn't even angry anymore! Wah-ha-ha-ho-ho-ho! I was supposed to be a real boy la la la la la la la la lunch and la worry and we are!

Figaro, you're here, too. And Cleo.

Father? Father, talk to me. Say something.

"To feeling how I felt when he was here with me"

(HONEST JOHN SCATTING)

But old Jiminy picked up the fumble and it's smooth sailing from here.

No request is too extreme

We'll follow that light.

Ah! And here are your new schoolmates, and, ah, Signora Vitelli. Buongiorno.

A living puppet without strings!

It goes around the Earth once a day. It's basic, simple science.

LAMPWICK: Conscience, right.

Whatever it takes

(CHUCKLES) My name is Pinocchio.

-That's me. -(AUDIENCE LAUGHING)

(MYSTICAL NOTES PLAYING)

Now we can go home again and we'll be all together.

Hey! Don't call me Mister Dog you fucking jew!

It seems Pinocchio is serious about becoming brave, truthful and unselfish.

(SINGING) It's only peer pressure Unless you're not a peer

Yep, donkey ears and all.

We'll be one big happy...

(MONSTRO GRUNTING)

You have to be on a deserted crossroads after dark.

And he listened to his conscience.

(JOYFUL MUSIC PLAYING)

if I hadn't gotten into the conscience business.

Last night, the Carabinieri arrested Stromboli and put him in jail.

The sweet fulfillment of

Well, I don't know about that, Pinocchio. I mean, look at all this junk.

Like a bolt out of the blue

(CLOCKS RINGING)

Ah, there we are.

-(SIGHS) Okay, you have a point. -BLUE FAIRY: Here's the thing.

(ENCHANTING INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC PLAYING)

Anybody, please! Just call anybody! Help me, please.

(SPEAKING ITALIAN)

Who needs an education

-(GASPS) -(AUDIENCE EXCLAIMING)

We must have music.

They're around here somewhere. What do you care?

(MYSTICAL MUSIC PLAYING)

(SCHOOL BELL DINGING)

Makes no difference who you are

An almost real boy!

Well, I'll be. He's asleep.

I'm a cricket. More of an insect than an instinct.

Maybe it is time for you to go to school.

I mean, that is, if Pinocchio here was a real boy.