Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

and now they tell me that my best friend is the goddamn enemy.

[SOLDIER'S YELLING INDISTINCTLY]

Jeez! Shit! God. Oh, hot.

Okay, if someone is making you angrier and angrier,

That'd be a hoot, heh.

- You have to taste my spicy chicken... GARLICK: Sir.

[STATIC BLARING]

Sir, with all due respect, I think you're gonna...

- I thought since we were here to... - So you start a brawl.

Major Kleiner requests that you do not describe your duffel,

Were you born on the sun? It's damn hot.

[MIMICS TELETYPE MACHINE]

[EFFEMINATELY] I don't know.

Mystery Case Files Prime Suspects

I gave you my friendship and my trust

Коли в вас на роботі завал а ти запізнився на 2 години

Hey, we're back.

Arranging rakes by sizes for my mom in the garage.

MAN: We got a new man coming in.

Coming your way.

All right, in Saigon today, according to official sources,

Home of the Shiny Green Suit

The fellow I got in here is the gentleman,

But You're Not Crazy, You're Mean

All of a sudden, Well, I got drunk. All of a sudden, I went for a tattoo.

Say, we're not supposed to fraternise with these girls.

Sir, I'm begging you.

will hear exactly what they're supposed to hear.

I've taken 90 calls this morning. They just don't like Hauk.

I don't wanna be around when he broadcasts U.S. Troop movements.

Good morning Lüleburgaz!

GOOD MORNING JULIE COOPER!

Good morning, ROZ!

I was sent here on very strict orders from a colonel.

[IN NORMAL VOICE] Here's a news flash coming right now.

GOOOOOD MORNING BRANDON!

[AS WALTER BRENNAN] Well, well, well, Luke. Well, well.

Oh, you're going straight to hell for that one

I say tomato, you say cây tomat.

including the one at Jimmy Wah's.

I could cook things in it. Crotch-pot cooking.

Here they come at you right now.

and I'll be filling in until he arrives, hopefully, sometime this morning.

My thoughts exactly.

[NORMAL] We'll go to someone else for the weather.

They're sitting for peace, wisdom and knowledge.

Not police action and coffee remarks.

Look at the shape of that soldier ankle, the way it so elegantly curve into his boot.

You know what I mean?

[BOY SPEAKS IN VIETNAMESE]

You want everyone going under the assumption it's safe here. It's not.

Shadow of your ass weighs 20 pounds!

It’s a good job I’m REALLY looking foreword to today!!

I said it is none of your goddamn business.

- You see Trinh there. - I'll drive.

I not think be not correct of way. Please, okay?

Baby, help me, please.

CRONAUER: I have to admit something to you.

I can't believe you.

Hey, come on now, if you kick out the gooks,

Chattanooga Choo Choo, Meet Me In Chicago,

Hey, where's he going?

GOOOOOD MORNING EDI TEAM!!!

are asked to do so no later than August 13th

I can't really teach English.

I would like to buy some cheese and some butter.

But, hey, such is life. Me, I'm not much with power tools.

Military Intelligence? There's a contradiction in terms.

Sir! Sir, I tell you, this is not safe!

But he left a farewell message for all you guys out there

Good Morning Julie Cooper

- Formaldehyde. - Oh. Heh, heh.

The guys who flew you in radioed they picked up

Now is when I stop talking.

Isn't that funny? You like that too?

Also, the pope decided today to release Vatican-related bath products.

Oh, give me a break, man. It's too hot for radio shit, okay?

Hello, hello, hello. This is your chaplain, Captain Noel,

Tell him, thanks. It's nice to bomb in another language.

[SLOWLY] Wrong speed. We've got it on the wrong speed.

- [NORMAL] Where you from? O'MALLEY: From the Village.

Due respect, sir.

Because, basically, I believe that that man is a misunderstood genius.

She looks pretty to me. Whatever it is, I like it

- The VC, the fucking VC. - Tell me something I don't know, okay?

He reminds me a lot of Donna Reed, especially around the eyes.

GARLICK: I'm Private First Class Edward Montesque-Garlick, sir.

in Ku Bai, Da Nang, Phung Tao, Saigon, Bien Hoa and San Treng.

therefore, you have...

Oh, me like that you're silly.

You know, it wouldn't kill you people to salute me once in a while.

- You'll get used to it. - Maybe.

(Inaudible dialogue) ♪ Red roses, too ♪ (Inaudible dialogue) ♪ Red roses, too ♪

It doesn't make a damn whether you play polkas or don't play polkas.

Readers Digest are considering publishing two of my jokes

- Hi, general. - Real pleasure.

This could give the Army a black eye.

- Percy Faith, good. - Thank you.

This is Eddie Garlick coming to you live from AFRS, Armed Forces Radio Saigon.

They're not a leper, they're not gonna go:

Edward, please. That's two nasty words in one year.

And if you do happen to speak with him,

because sometimes he Stan Getz...

[AS WALTER CRONKITE] I want to begin by saying to Roosevelt E. Roosevelt,

when you're pregnant in august

I had a guy like you in the field one time. He blew himself to pieces.

That's it for you, asshole.

[CRONAUER HUMS GET A JOB]

You come for the girl, you get her, you go.

Well, that seems fair. It really does.

I'm tired of people telling me what I can't say.

Elizabeth Taylor. Elizabeth Taylor.

That one's coming at you now.

Ho Chi Minh, Colonel Sanders, actually the same person?

[SOLDIER] Roosevelt E. Roosevelt. [NORMAL] What town are you in?

[PLANE ENGINE ROARING]

The East Germans today claimed that the Berlin Wall was a fraternity prank.

Goooood morning Spokaaaaaaaane

I think that's not fair to him.

goooooood morning training camp !!!!

Warm? No. This is the setting for London Broil

but my father's nice and he's not funny either.

But it doesn't mean we can't have a few laughs.

You're listening to Eddie Kirk on AFRS. I have a big special...

[STUDENTS LAUGH]

- Why? - Your limp pulled us to the right,

All right, this is Adrian Cronauer. I'm on at 6:00 and again at 4.

Just don't let it happen again.

Plus, I think he got shot in the ass, but I can't confirm that. Heh-heh-heh.

for the men in the field.

[NORMAL] Bob, can we play anything for you?

Mayday. Dragon lady with incredible figure at 11 o'clock, stop the car.