Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

You go in the jungle, make a statement. If you're going to fight, clash.

I'm not gonna cover for you this time, son.

You better stay cool. You better not get involved in anything.

Oh, girls, girls, come on over. Your loss.

Pardon me, girls?

Good Morning Bielefeld

[IN NORMAL VOICE] Gina Lollobrigida has been declared

[AS MISTER ED] Wilbur, come in the room.

I n your shopping trip.

And there's a man who's screaming out to be made fun of.

but what about the silent masses who do?

She's stabbing you. She's putting forks in you.

We not the enemy. You the enemy.

Let’s boogaloo

There's actually no rubber on these tyres.

SERGEANT: Left, left, left, right, left.

You could fly to Guam with those.

I n the dictionary, under asshole, it says, See him.

but I'm gonna turn you over right now to Mr. Excitement.

He lugs a trainload of shit behind him that would fertilise the Sinai.

You used me to kill two people. Two people died in that fucking bar.

- Come on. - Come on.

THIS WILL NOT LOOK GOOD ON A RESUME

I saw one of those guys, their orange robes, burst into flames.

How come I don't get one?

and they buy her some expensive food, and then lie about money.

- Where you from? WILKES: New York.

Bullshit. I know Nixon personally.

- There you are, sir. - Please, don't call me sir.

Okay, I'll give her the best shot.

First of all, don't make fun of the weather here.

You go in the jungle, make a statement. If you’re going to fight, clash!

You could fly to Guam with those.

I have never ever, in my travels, come across a man as large as you

Hey, I'll take whatever you can give because I'm just happy to be with you.

KIRK [ON RADIO]: Shuffle Off to Buffalo, The Sidewalks of New York.

Didn't you ever wonder why you were pulled out

[ENGINE TURNING]

Thank you for your support. Now I've got a show to do.

Oh, my bar! Why? Who do that?

[SINGING AS ELVIS PRESLEY] Viva Da Nang, oh, viva Da Nang

[IN NORMAL VOICE] Well, what do you use to look for them?

Antics, damn it. Comedy of errors, like the Keystone Kops falling down.

- All right. - Yeah.

What a country. Heat, humidity, terrorism.

(singing What A Wonderful World) ♪ Oh, yeah. ♪ (singing What A Wonderful World) ♪ Oh, yeah. ♪

You don't win the case of fish balls and lizard testicles.

DISPATCHER [OVER RADIO]: Fire 4, there's a fire in the landing

Look, up there. Pull.

Good Morning E-Commerce

[IN NORMAL VOICE] Hey, that's it for me. That's the end of the Adrian Cron-Hour,

Andy Williams, Perry Como and certain ballads by Mr. Frank Sinatra.

- Terrible, that's terrible. - Those are gorgeous gals.

Are you planning, sir, to take some of the marijuana back to the United States?

Good morning, Crossfire

Oh you’re going straight to hell for that one

I don't know, lieutenant. I guess it means good morning, uh, Vietnam.

Why do I feel like the miracle worker up here?

Sir? Do you see anything on this uniform indicating an officer?

[SINGING AS ETHEL MERMAN] Oh, I've got a feeling

That's stupid, you don't call someone crap.

Friends of Phan Duc Tho.

[CHUCKLING SOFTLY]

WOMAN: Levitan.

Okay, let's take one more ball here.

- The former VP will be here on Friday. GARLICK: Ha-ha-ha.

- What'd she just say? - She said no, sir.

What's the weather like out there? It’s hot, damn hot, real hot

- That road is Victor-Charlie, sir. - It is definitely not a friendly area.

No wonder you hauled ass.

(Inaudible dialogue) ♪ The bright blessed day ♪ (Inaudible dialogue) ♪ The bright blessed day ♪

CRONAUER: Thank you. - Hey.

They're starting to cut you with knives, putting spoons in your eyes.

I ncidentally, you're on the air in about ten seconds.

Don't try to do comedy. It's not in your blood.

to have a man under my command start a fucking bar brawl?

- I thought I'd come and help smooth... - Don't help and don't smooth.

And who gave anyone permission to program modern music?

- It did happen... - You shut your mouth.

I want to turn in the ball to the original place.

[POLKA MUSIC PLAYING ON RADIO]

I'd like you to collate these one-minute spots prior to broadcast.

It's going to be an exciting day of listening and learning,

That's a direct quote, sir

That's a direct quote, sir.

I trust you, man, it's just that I can't eat something that looks like a cesspool.

[I GOT YOU (I FEEL GOOD) PLAYING ON RADIO]

It's a bathing cap. I just like to put a bathing cap.

Goooooood morning MDU!

nothing actually happened.

E.g., Hey, Hauk, eat a bag of shit. You suck.

[IN NORMAL VOICE] No. No, come on.

How's the boat?

Help me get some photo of those ankle, I give you my bar!

The Armed Forces sincerely regrets any inconvenience

Why you still here?

You'll stay here and drink instant beverage or something.

Been harassing me since the day I got off the plane.

You got me, bang. But, hey, I like the class, so I'm gonna stay.

[MUTTERS INDISTINCTLY AS HELEN KELLER]

[SONG PLAYING AT HALF-SPEED]

You're actually too close to some of the nerve agents they were testing?

That funky music will drive us till the dawn.

- Sorry. HAUK: Thanks.

Is it me or is Jimmy light in the loafers?

Yes, sir. I run this show, general.

Sergeant Major Dickerson, ha, that's another story altogether.

- Good afternoon, class. STUDENTS: Good afternoon, Mr. Sloan.

[MIMICS TELETYPE MACHINE]

Gambia, Singapore and the Maldive Islands join the United Nations.

Let's try a little phrase, uh, I like to call:

[AS GLINDA] Oh, no, don't go in there.

WOMAN: I love you.

How do we know it's Adrian Cronauer?

Don't build him up. You'll let them down.

Let's play this backwards and see if it gets any better.

I'll burn you so bad you'll wish you died as a child.

[AS HANOI HANNAH] Oh, Adrian, Adrian. What are you doing, Adrian?

Boston. You know who sang the song My Guy?

- Would Pussy or cunt be out of line? - Way, way, way out of line.

You'll be bored, you know.

And now here are the headlines.

I've got pages and pages of great material.

For me, I want to do something different.

Get a job. Right. We got it, you're cooking now.

Uh, look what you did.

Negative, sir. It is not.

Set me free Why don't you, babe?

MAN 3: All right.

Well, you see, I'm not used to going on a date with a grand jury,

Booger Hook Nazi's be like.

Keep your eye on the fruit.

I'm pretty sure you can step on crap. I once saw it in a French movie.

Let's try a very special situation. Wilkie, something special, okay?

Why not? I got a great personality, you ask anybody.

Now you say hi to me, then you smile.

Good Morning Vietnam

I think the troops are trying to tell us something, fellas.

Heavily fortified and considered very unsafe, sir.

Former VP Richard Nixon will arrive here this week.

Shape of the blue.

The leaves, they fall upon the helmets, says yes to me.

[IN BRITISH ACCENT] Well, you carry on, Montesque.

My God, it's Mardi gras, and I'm on the main float.

I'm not going on.

[IN NORMAL VOICE] Yes, have you used any?

Here you go, there you go. Hey, got one? For you.

with a glass of cappuccino coffee?