Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

It zoomed right by, just the way they say it does.
As I leave Vietnam today there is no doubt, certainly, in my mind...
- Come on, come on. - You like me because of my sister.
This is not military issue, airman. What sort of uniform is that?
Hey, hey. Hey, Uncle Phil.
And what about Jimmy Wah's?
Requisitioned for a name change.
[BABY PLEASE DON'T GO PLAYING ON RADIO]
Why not? Maybe play a couple of Tennessee Ernie Ford records.
- Come on, sir. - Fine.
- I find that very alarming. - Edward, stay with me on this.
SOLDIERS: One, two, three, four.
Hey, guys.
weren't represented by Cronauer's broadcasts of rock 'n' roll.
We haven't got a real baseball, Wilk. Bear with me, okay?
Come on, you're on in like two seconds.
the sweetest-smelling army in the world.
Maybe I can work in a station back home or something.
We're not in America, sir.
Oh, shit.
We'd love a couple of beers, Jimmy.
Eddie Kirk here, and Ray Conniff jubilee coming up in just a few moments.
[IN NORMAL VOICE] It's the Wicked Witch of the North.
That's funny.
It's a simple rule.
Adrian Cronauer is on temporary assignment,
I gotta tell you something, you know.
- What happened? CRONAUER: It didn't work out.
There's no place like home, and you can be there.
DICKERSON: The man should be court-martialled.
- Beach Boys. Those were guys. - Of the Beach Boys.
I wanna kiss his ring and have it go:
- I gotta catch her before she accelerates. WAH: You can't go yet.
Cub Scouts don't have heavy artillery.
This is the place where we like to hang out, sir.
I'm with you, man. I'm on your frequency.
We have a selection right here that's prepared...
SOLDIER 4: Senator Dirksen! SOLDIER 5: Hey, Curly!
From now on, the fighting men of Vietnam
He look good to me!
Team Lame Flex!
[BABY CRYING]
jjjj
Listen, no more games, okay?
That's all right. I did.
Here your beer.
- Look at the new friend. - A little too young for you.
CRONAUER: You wanna give me a ride, or am I gonna have to buy another bike?
And now direct from Crete,
Guys, I'd like you to meet our new deejay, Adrian Cronauer.
Why would Cronauer's voice be on this tape?
because I thought a certain segment of the men
just so we can book a big-name comedian.
GARLICK: We're here, sir. Jimmy Wah's.
(Inaudible dialogue) ♪ And clouds of white ♪ (Inaudible dialogue) ♪ And clouds of white ♪
Your fly is open.
Sir, I recommend we issue a 24-hour pass.
I don't like what you say or how you say it.
with as much muscles, who has absolutely no penis.
- I don't find him funny at all. - Zeppo? Isn't he the one with the hat?
GOID!
With the holiday season rapidly approaching,
What is a protective dike?
- What's this thing on your helmet? SOLDIER 12: Why don't you try it out?
How am I gonna get this girl to go out with me?
There's a water buffalo jackknifed up there.
You like it? I got it from Hong Kong Home of the shinny green suit!
Lieutenant Steven Hauk is our immediate supervisor.
[CROWD APPLAUDING]
Cleveland? Vietnam's not that much of a change for you, then.
Listen.
[IN NORMAL VOICE] Here's a news flash:
[NORMAL] I know we can't use dyke. You can't even say lesbian.
- Thank you, Wilkie. - Thank you.
CRONAUER: Basically, it's hotter than a snake's ass in a waggon round up.
The Army is kind of quirky that way.
Goooooooooood morning, Vietnam.
- Okay, here we go. MP: No batter. No batter.
Please, I'm... Bag it!
Frankly, I found your I love a police action remark way out of line.
DICKERSON: This is not over yet.
And now an item of special note.
Let's go. Let's boogaloo till we puke.
When the fed boys start using biological warfare
You look hip today. Slip me some skin.
Good morning, communication concepts!
Good morning, ROZ!
He's a friend from my class who risked his ass to save my life.
That's true, it's very true. That's an insult, isn't it?
CRONAUER: We've got a special man in the audience today, it's Mr. Leo.
Hey, there we go, for you. Here we go, for you all.
on the outside of the building.
[NORMAL] Can't you give us weather?
- Does that road have a secure status? - No, sir, it does not.
- Would Bob Dylan be out of line? - Way, way, way out of line.
- I would like to leave the room now. - Oh, uh, yes, sir.
I gotta get her something.
Sir, the man is a walking keg of dynamite.
I recommend you pack quietly.
It's called fun. What's that? Come on.
(Inaudible dialogue) ♪ Saying, "How do you do?" ♪ (Inaudible dialogue) ♪ Saying, "How do you do?" ♪
[ENGINE GRINDS]
because it's not.
GARLICK: I'd like an explanation.
[CRONAUER YELLS]
and get ready for the Ho Chi Minh two-step.
You might lay an egg. I mean, a big egg.
You don't have the power. I'll take this to the authorities.
Sukiyaki, Volare, The Portuguese Washerwoman,
No. No friend, Cronauer.
CRONAUER: If I don't get to class,
I don't want makes you nervous, Cronauer.
Well, you know, you're very beautiful.
Right now, let's play a song from Adrian's own playlist,
Well, then I guess that would make you an Eydie Gorme.
NIXON [ON RADIO]: - Whether the Vietcong will be defeated,