Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

CRONAUER: How can you fight a war in this shit?
I want to say goodbye before you go.
Listen, his life is in danger. You gotta tell me where the hell he is.
I was almost killed.
Good morning, Montana!!!
Wilk, Wilk. Look, you got a base, take it.
Don't disappoint your...
[WOMAN CRYING]
CRONAUER: So, what's wrong with that? TUAN: It's more devout here.
I know because she's my sister.
Me waiting for cardiology appointment!
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KIRK: Yes, sir. LEVITAN: How the hell do I know?
Those pilots are going, I like the music, I like the music.
Speaking of early, how about that Cro-Magnon, Marty Dreiwitz?
Oh, censor, censor, censor.
LEVITAN: Levitan. WOMAN: Levitan.
Do you have any idea how ridiculous it makes me look
Get back.
Didn't have to pick up the phones until he comes back.
[BELL RINGS]
(Inaudible dialogue) ♪ Yes, I think to myself ♪ (Inaudible dialogue) ♪ Yes, I think to myself ♪
goooood morning... everybody!!!!!
CRONAUER: I'm impressed.
DREIWITZ: I tell you, this guy's funny. - I'm trying to run a meeting here.
Baby.
Gooooooood Moooooorninggggg E-Commmmerce
We put in just a touch of formaldehyde for flavour.
- That's a joke, right? - Maybe.
do you like good food?
[AS FRENCHY] Oh, but of course, the French love good food.
- the one and the only king of the airwaves, - You're a dead man.
because I intend to take issue with your performance.
[NORMAL] Bob, what do you do? [SHOUTS] I'm in Artillery!
He mean that as compliment.
He's impeccably clean.
...when you get out of the Army?
- Okay. CRONAUER: Okay.
You say after you go out with Trinh, you meet me to talk about her.
- Possibly, but you would need... - Just what I wanted to hear.
- You did? - Nearby the larch tree, near Viet Hoa.
If you two have personal problems, solve them, will you?
to get your ass back on the air.
Shot by American.
- Am I being fairly clear? - Yes, sir.
Flip them a bird!
Now, let's start off with the fact that English is a fantastic language.
No, it okay. I not tell you okay otherwise.
CRONAUER: Sounds like a couple of cops in Brooklyn,
Something funny, Garlick?
asking for Cronauer's reinstatement.
Here's how you do it, Slip me some skin. Put your hand out there.
you're under arrest, Cronauer.
There's prophylactic everywhere, man.
I've had no actual...
You like it? I got it in Hong Kong, home of the shiny green suit.
Welcome to Saigon, sir.
I do nothing.
CRONAUER: Look.
I can't, it's still paddling.
You're not supposed to address the general saying hi.
- That is not funny. - How about if it escalated?
This guy is funny!
Can I help you?
A little of this: Whoo-whoo-whoo.
I think some apologies are in order.
Why'd you do this?
I just wanted to think that you should...
[IN NORMAL VOICE] That's it for the Adrian Cron-Hour.
[ENGINE TURNING]
Please make a note of it. Ahem. Excuse me.
- Ba Muy Ba beer, best beer in Vietnam. - Ba Muy Ba beer, only beer in Vietnam.
You know,
- My name is Lewis Striker. CRONAUER: Striker.
Then you go. Yeah, there's some skin. Now you do it to me.
[IN DEEP VOICE] Don't go near there?
I n Vietnam, family often come to meet someone, to meet someone.
- It read for my the book. - I've never heard rhymes like that.
Funny is good.
Oh! You're going straight to Hell for that one!
KIRK: I will tell him, sir. - Didn't I speak to you before?
Yes. Hey, you know what I mean.
Sound like you learned English from Tonto. We go.
Way, way, way out of line.
Oh, God, this could be very ugly. Hi.
Listen, I gotta talk to you. Now. Come on.
with nothing to say and no way to do it?
Thank you, Marty. Silky smooth sounds, get out of here.
Hey, hey, hey.
This is Tuan, the guys.
Good morning Vietnam!!!
Yes, Sergeant Major Dickerson.
Who the hell gets laid as a young child? And stop calling them gals.
Well, thank you, sergeant. I've missed you.
God!
Goddamn it, I like you, son. I like what you do.
Get off. Go, go, go.
by a Jewish scientist in Switzerland, Dr. Feintush.
and company clerk.
Who is this South Vietnamese boy?
Ethel Merman today uses a test to jam Russian radar.
- Cooked with...
SIR, IN MY HEART, I KNOW I'M FUNNY
Can't see dick.
[AS JAMES BROWN] Back again.
[IN BAD FRENCH ACCENT] Lieutenant Steve, Lieutenant Steve?
The Army knows about your brother.
It's the guys in the field that matter, remember?
Call me crazy, he's in Rome.
(Inaudible dialogue) ♪ And I think to myself ♪ (Inaudible dialogue) ♪ And I think to myself ♪
Sir, sir, reading the news is one thing,
Good morning, Vietnam? What the heck is that supposed to mean?
I won't forget you.
- Where you going to? - Nha Trang.
Basically It’s hotter than a snake’s ass in a wagon rut.
- As soon as possible. - VG, sir.
So do I.
If you're walking on the streets of New York and someone says,
Airman Cronauer requesting you to elaborate.
- You know any American songs at all? - Puff the Magic Dragon.
with a pissy weather front coming down from the north.
you're in more dire need of a blow job than any white man in history.
Time to take that big orange pill
You could see how we live.
[AS MICK JAGGER] Oh, you like Mick Jagger?
- You guys mind if I drive? - Be my guest.
- No effect on me.
Thank you for playing anyway. Here it is right now. What's your name?
It's not a pretty picture. There's pieces of rubber all over his face.
That's Marty Lee Dreiwitz.
SOLDIER 6: Moe. GARLICK: Guess again.
End of an inning.
Da Nang me, Da Nang me Why don't they get a rope and hang me?
- Don't do this. SOLDIER 3: Groucho Marx!
All right?
[SOLDIERS CHEERING]
- Forgive me. - Hey.
CRONAUER: Any food on this street that doesn't give you diarrhoea?
CRONAUER: Sir?
Thank you.
- I live to collate, sir. - Good.
Turn the power off in that studio.
You don't have time.
You're both from New York. Nice to have you, you like hanging out?
You think this is the most serious set of affairs I have to address? It's not.
That's right, the U.S. Army.
Sergeant major.
Yeah.
Good Morning Spokane
That's right, the big Dick is here. Get ready.