Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

Weather out there today is hot and shitty
You were my friend.
Hey Stop snoring
The card should be no larger than 4-by-5 inches
Cowgirls are called gals.
What's the difference between the Army and the Cub Scouts?
Hey, hey.
I don't know where they are. I don't even know where am.
Hey, fellas, how's the cough-drop business?
You know Puff the Magic Dragon? Will you sing it?
CRONAUER [SINGING]: Here she comes
Five-thirty, it's very early. I may have to hurt you.
That's it for Hygiene in the Heat. Tomorrow we'll...
Hello, hey. Well, the gang's all here, huh? Ha, ha.
You just get him out.
Thousands of guys wrote in, called in, trying to get you reinstated.
- This one's a better one. - No. No. No need.
More dire need of a blow job than any white man in history.
GOOOOOOD MOOOOOORRRRNING Neeeeew Hire claaaassss!!!
Who can tell me who sang the song My Guy?
Bookworms, Headquarters Support Activities Saigon
and Third Man Theme on the Kirk I nternational...
Not comfort for me.
one of A.C.'s favourites.
[IN NORMAL VOICE] You're here, good to see you.
Hey, 12, please. Um...
Hi. How's Lynn doing?
What's the weather like out there? [SOLDIER] It's hot, damn hot, real hot.
Jyd
[BOTH SPEAK IN VIETNAMESE]
I've been broadcasting the polkas
A man does not refer to Pat Boone as a beautiful genius if things are all right.
(Inaudible dialogue) ♪ "I love you" ♪ (Inaudible dialogue) ♪ "I love you" ♪
CRONAUER: What, sir? - Oh, my God.
Yeah! Run, run, run!
- That's a deal. - It's a deal?
I'm the tallest hog in the trough around here.
CRONAUER: Have you considered a sex change?
(Inaudible dialogue) ♪ So pretty in the sky ♪ (Inaudible dialogue) ♪ So pretty in the sky ♪
- As you have suggested, give and take.
No, you step on crap. You don't call it to a person.
. .
Listen, if you have any problems here now, you come see me.
keep the PC on the QT
I Left My Heart in San Francisco, of course, Moonlight in Vermont,
Goooooooooood morning Viet Nan
What is a lakai?
[AS WITCH] Now, little GI, you and your little Toto too.
due to luggage lost on transport carriers.
CRONAUER: Okay, everybody, let's play ball!
due to a yearly mail rush at that time.
[IN NORMAL VOICE] We're gonna hit some songs at you now.
[ENGINE TURNING]
Carry on, Montesque. Carry on.
He's read unofficial news. What's he gonna be like in six months?
Hey, you two Earl. What about couple beer?
Former Vice President Richard Nixon's in town.
Second Covid shot done, not feeling any side affec......
Where am I gonna take requests? Where can you call from?
Phan Duc Tho!
- Not friends. - Of course.
We've got our traffic report up there on the Ho Chi Minh Trail.
It's Hanoi Hannah.
Hey, Staley! Eat a bag of shit, you suck!
Easy, Madge.
play Sinead Loud OK
NIXON: They're soft, they're shallow
and they could power a small New Hampshire town.
Aw, no. Ha-ha-ha.
The ARVIN Army
[CAR HORN HONKS]
Captain Hauk sucks the sweat off a dead man's balls.
GARLICK: I can't, sir. CRONAUER: You don't understand.
Okay, yeah, well, we'll try and do that if we get the equipment.
[OXEN MOO]
God. Nude photographs of Walter Brennan.
[IN NORMAL VOICE] Is it a little too early for being that loud? Hey, too late.
Hey, there you are, Cronauer.
- How would anyone see you fall? - No, no, no. Not literally falling down.
GOOOOOOD MORNING CRENDER!
[SINGING] Puff, the Magic Dragon Living by the tree
You come out.
those personnel wishing to spend Christmas cards home...
(Inaudible dialogue) ♪ Of people going by ♪ (Inaudible dialogue) ♪ Of people going by ♪
By the food and flower vendors where you burn your mouth on the noodles.
This will not look good on a resume!
ы ы
The fighting's not in the hills. It's downtown...
Whatever it is, I like it.
There she is.
And how lucky for me. Thank you very much for playing.
We've got a deejay that the men dearly love.
[AS GOMER PYLE] Yes, I am. Surprise, surprise, surprise.
LETS GET THIS SHITSHOW STARTED
Gonna give ya the ol’ chuck on the shoulder now.
Hotter things is my shorts.
Okay. Who do we have slated for live entertainment in November?
Gonna give ya the ol’ Chuck on the shoulder now
[SOLDIER] I'm in a phone booth out in the DMZ. I'm trying to call you right now.
Lieutenant Schneer...
I mean, the man's not funny. I know funny and he's not funny.
Good Moring Vietnam
That about wraps it up for me, Marty Lee,
[EFFEMINATELY] They're ruby slippers.
How would you do that?
[IN NORMAL VOICE] Well, a good polka it is
[IN NORMAL VOICE] What music do you like? Little Anthony?
The men all hate Hauk. They want Cronauer back.
TAYLOR: He made a mistake. DICKERSON: Mistake, sir?
GARLICK: I learned enough about radio stations.
[SOLDIER BLOWS WHISTLE]
CRONAUER: So this is the country where they grow rattan love seats.
- Okay. - I'm...
Can you envision some fairly unattractive alternatives?
You're in Southeast Asia now, pal. You got your cushy little assignment.
But not before his humour cost the lives of three very fine individuals.
We've got a mounting crisis in this country.
Go into conference. That point. That fence.
It just came down the pike. You're back on the air, sir.
(Inaudible dialogue) ♪ They're really saying ♪ (Inaudible dialogue) ♪ They're really saying ♪
How would you describe your testicles?
- Where are you come from? - Queens. Bayside, Queens.
- Is he all right? - No, Phil, he's not all right.
I just remain reticent.
TUAN: You can buy me lunch, but please forget about my sister.
All right.
And I'm not used to girls being that quiet unless they're medicated.
Gooooood Morning Spastic Slaaaags
Sergeant Sloan our teacher. You're not supposed to be in here.
Time to rock it from the Delta to the DMZ.
- I'm not going on. - What do you mean, you're not going on?
[IN NORMAL VOICE] Who's that? [AS FRENCHY] It's your old pal Frenchy.
- You wanna take the ball? - No.
SOLDIERS: Yeah!
Oh, picky, picky. Let's go, Edward. Yeah, the chase.
who, despite all your requests, will return tomorrow.
[CHUCKLES]
- You're not gonna last long here, pal. - You can always send me back to Crete.
hello my name is Robin Williams my name is Robin Williams from mrs. Doubtfire Good morning Vietnam and other movies you probably recognize me
Walter, what's the weather like?
I want you to play this.
Those are the guys that are dying.
At ease. I'm General Taylor.
for my good friend Frenchy.
Well, actually, it's a little more than just a hobby.
This news isn't official. That comment is too sarcastic.
Reader's Digest is considering publishing two of my jokes.
No, I'm actually hungry.
- She say it's a little spicy. - A little, yeah.
Do you ever wonder how a young South Vietnamese boy
Wet and cold till 15th of January….it could be warmer
- You can step on crap. I know you can. - Yes, but they can be full of shit, he said.
And this one is brought to you by our friends at the Pentagon.
An Loc? Shit.
- What? I was there. - Airman, you know the rules.
I wouldn't buy an apple from the son of a bitch,
[BLOWS WHISTLE]
Got some songs going out right now to a couple of guys