Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

"Your Fly Is Open."

(Inaudible dialogue) ♪ And I think to myself ♪ (Inaudible dialogue) ♪ And I think to myself ♪

She's got spoons in your eyes, Will.

- in order to talk to this girl... CRONAUER: Shh! Listen.

And yet this boy can get in and out without a scratch.

to speak to you on the air.

Can you say something funny right this minute?

You know, I hate the fact that you people never salute me.

[MIMICS GUNSHOT]

CRONAUER: Jesus, enough.

Hi, this is Marty Lee Dreiwitz at Cronauer Control Centre.

Hey, Cronauer, say, Good morning, Vietnam.

Hey, we're going right now to the news.

CRONAUER [YELLS ON TAPE]: Goodbye, Vietnam.

Mystery Case Files Fate's Carnival

and thanks so much for joining us.

could not drive in a convertible on highways.

- Mad at me, and he could Al Hirt me.

MAN: Let's go. MP 1: Come on, get back.

[BICYCLE HORN HONKS]

And I gotta get on a plane and we have to do with what we can.

is it true that there is a marijuana problem here in Vietnam?

What would you do, Will? What would you do?

I'm just going off to Vietnam.

Sir, I really don't think that you wanna use any of those records, sir.

He's an exhilarating personality, and polkas are just no substitute.

If the engine's humming, it's already started.

Sir, it wouldn't work, I don't think.

[YELLS] Good morning, horny people.

CRONAUER: How would you describe your sex life with your wife, Pat?

SOLDIER 7: Peterson, get up here, man. I think we got Cronauer here.

corner of Viet Ho and Hguen Van Theiuh streets here in Saigon.

So if you have to be rushed to a hospital,

I'm saying I'm through, Ed.

“Little” Stevie Brass On WMSK Radio! Prepare to POLKA YOUR DUPAS OFF!!!

Hi, Earl, good to see you again.

[IN NORMAL VOICE] Well, then I guess that would make you an Eydie Gorme.

the Italian national mountain range.

You don't believe it's me?

- Why not? - He doesn't play police actions, just wars.

WILKIE: Hey, teacher.

[YELLS] Good morning, Vietnam.

But then do it by using comedy and humour.

First, our fashion report from Special Forces Sgt. Ernest Lee Sincere.

My... Ow. Shit.

He look good to me!

welcome the silky smooth sound of Airman Adrian Cronauer.

[SPEAKS IN VIETNAMESE]

She likes the Three Stooges. [AS CURLY] Hey, Moe, hey, Moe.

To tell you, thank you for being so kind.

(Inaudible dialogue) ♪ What a wonderful world ♪ (Inaudible dialogue) ♪ What a wonderful world ♪

This man has cleaning products shipped in from Wisconsin.

[NORMAL] What's the weather like? [SOLDIER] You got a window.

We are not firing you. The boys are depending on you.

I call it a jubilee. Actually, it's a Ray Conniff featurette.

"Good morning, Vietnam"? What the heck is that supposed to mean?

[Normal Voice] Gomer, are you here in Vietnam?

Adrian Cronauer.

My son, the shadow of your ass would weigh 20 pounds.

We look like a before and after picture. Come on, let me buy you a beer.

[EFFEMINATELY] Nice to have you here. Nice to have you here in Vietnam.

MAN 1: Yeah, that's right, man. MAN 2: Hurry up, man.

Ask for the books by author, title and subject,

Try and find some hidden meaning.

CRONAUER: Under the Boardwalk, you know that one?

No, that doesn't say the right thing. You're right. How about...?

[SPEAKING IN VIETNAMESE]

CRONAUER: A khaki eclipse. TUAN: I better go now.

- Hey, Tuan. - How you doing?

Troy and Abed in the Morning

Yes, I have two months to live and I would like to teach before I die.

Can you believe the shape of those gals? Girls.

- God, what time is it, Edward? - It's 5:30.

Come on, pal, we'll make it.

And, well, comedy is a kind of hobby of mine.

That's censorship, Edward. That's not what America's all about.

You go into a restaurant, okay? A waitress comes up to you.

- Makes me unique, doesn't it? - What a plus.

Three, maybe four, back-to-back Ray Conniff classics.

[YELLS] You hear me?

[IN NORMAL VOICE] Hannah, you slut.

A little conference here, Wilk. A little conference, time-out, everyone.

Soon, the news. Then...

[IN NORMAL VOICE] Let's play a little game.

I don't think seeing your little production of Our Town is gonna cheer me up.

Call police, quick.

Look, Italian moon launch.

Now you have to go. It's better off.

just say that that kind of music was inappropriate?

You go, Hey, wait. No, don't tell me, wait, wait.

No, hot? No, it's fucking great.

We're not running in Kansas anymore, Toto. We're not running in Kansas anymore, Toto.

If you haven't noticed, the Army doesn't really want me, Ed.

Well, we originally wanted Bob Hope, but turns out he won't come.

Adrian Cronauer is on temporary assignment

Hey, I'll be... I wanna be your pal. Here, okay, I'll eat it.

[IN NORMAL VOICE] That's right. Rise and shine, rise and shine.

- Jump in any time, okay? - We're there.

When you look like Goliath so like you beware of some David.

I got it. Jerry Vale. He closes the Copa on the 18th.

GARLICK: It's just down the hall. CRONAUER: Yeah.

[AS GINA LOLLOBRIGIDA] Look out, I don't see the sun anymore.

Gooooood morning, Reiderson!!!!

I think there's an incredible coincidence here.

What's he gonna be like when he's ten times as popular, general?

and operates on an assigned carrier frequency of 540 at 749 megahertz.

[ENGINE GRINDS]

[IN NORMAL VOICE] Do you think he looks like a negative of Little Richard?

Shout by the Isley Brothers, you know that?

- Transferring me, sir? - Mm-hm.

I screw up once more, Dickerson sends me into the field.

No, it means like, Hey, baby, slip me some skin.

at this present moment.

That is humour. I recognise that.

Gooooood morning Indonesia

carries with it penalties on the stiff side, if you know what I mean.

Furthermore, you are to stick to playing normal modes of music.

Hey Joey What's up

Former President Eisenhower, actually cartoon character Elmer Fudd.

I n fact, it's 2 degrees cooler today than yesterday.

You know, we haven't passed too many checkpoints since Chon Thanh.

Hey, I like you. I just wanna be your friend, okay?

We still have a few minutes before your show begins, sir.

That's all I have for you, airman.

Hey, George ... eat a bag of shit. you suck.

That was Louis B. Armstrong, the great Satchmo.

You mad I not trust you, but true, you not trust me.

You can be a little... I saw... It's so damn hot.

- You old enough for this place? - I think so.

They're not becoming with a leper. They're not gonna go till they like to go. They're not becoming with a leper. They're not gonna go till they like to go.

(Inaudible dialogue) ♪ I watch them grow ♪ (Inaudible dialogue) ♪ I watch them grow ♪

It's women in comfortable shoes. Thank you.

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