Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

That's it, eye on the fruit, Minh. Eye on the fruit, on the fruit.
Man, he's gonna say goodbye to the whole goddamn country now.
but this stuff you wrote, it's not funny, sir. It's sad.
We're back. Here's the news.
I wanna introduce you to someone right now from my English class.
McPHERSON: Wouldn't work on radio, sir. - See, sir?
- You teach American thing okay. CRONAUER: Okay.
What I mean is in the spirit of the Keystone Kops.
Okay, she goes in the kitchen, she gets a knife, she starts stabbing you.
No, no, no. He made a mistake. We all make mistakes.
And goddamn it and stupid and crap.
- Hello, I'm William Holden. KIRK: Right here.
Sir? Do you see anything on this profile indicating an officer?
Hey, hey, hey, come on now.
Gooooooood Morning Spastic Slags
Sparky. Sitting back, having a cup of formaldehyde.
The other 1, 100 calls said that the man can't do comedy to save his dick.
WOMAN: Come on.
Respectfully, sir, the former VP is a good man and a decent man.
I trusted you.
write to the HSAS Library.
GOOOOOOD MORNING ANDRé
This way, this way.
- For three years, he's been trying. - Walter Brennan?
You don't think I can come up with something good?
[INAUDIBLE DIALOGUE]
I am the authorities, you moron.
Sir? Do you see anything on this profile indicating an officer?
I love a polka as much as the next man
[FLATLY] Hey, excuse me.
But facts are facts.
Do you really expect me to run this radio station
We only little Vietnamese.
Thank you all the same, and...
World cup Trumps shit show
TUAN: It's not funny at all, he said.
Wash with it, go straight to heaven. Thank you.
There's a Puerto Rican waitress.
That's a joke, right? I get it.
Cronauer!
[SPEAKING IN VIETNAMESE]
MAN [ON RADIO]: - Despite a letter of intention.
Why? Because I have to, it's the Army.
I said, who brought in the fucking gook?
Never fail you. You guys mind if we make an unscheduled stop?
- Comedy, sir. - Comedy?
Guam, sir? There's nothing going on in Guam.
Joey Bishop. I wish someone would explain this one to me.
Humour, I recognise that....
Your going straight to hell for that one!
Keep going! Keep going!
That's nice if you're with a lady, ain't no good if you're in the jungle.
Next thing you know, I'm on a fucking truck. What happened?
what it is, what it shall be, what it was.
of never to be for both the same and another.
Shopping for dinner and the things you buy during, uh...
Da Nang me Da Nang me
I can only tell you about how you can talk on maybe the real streets of America.
[IN RUSSIAN ACCENT] What the hell was that?
Oh, it's an order. I n that case, gentlemen, let's edit.
MAN: To recover contents such as shoes, socks and undergarments.
This news is not official, airman.
[ENGINE GRINDS]
And whoever says yes, we shoot them.
Really, and that hair.
- Is that date firm? - I got it from my niece.
CRONAUER: What do you think you'll do, Ed...
Goooooood Morning CX Leaders!
You see a girl with the type breasts they like and they put her in a fancy car,
Walkin' in the Wind.
always rinse you razor with cold water instead of hot.
- You forget the girl. - Oh, I'll let her say no.
Speak your piece, Dick.
are asked to contact Lieutenant Sam Scheer.
- Okay, that one, okay? - I said that this a very good substitute.
It's time for Adrian Cronauer.
[SCREAMS]
CRONAUER: Is that a new rule? GARLICK: No, old rule.
Gooooood morning, Vietnam!
You a stick man
I can't believe you're gonna pass on this. The man is a goddamn subversive.
Join the Army and mark things.
THIS WILL NOT LOOK GOOD ON A RESUME
[AS ROD SERLING] Picture a man going on a journey
Well, tell him I drink so I can be this funny.
Mr. Cronauer, we like your lessons better than the book's.
I'm sorry.
SOLDIER 15: We love you, man.
I'm sorry, son.
What's The O Stand For? Oh, My God, It's Early.
I just remain reticent.
TUAN: Come on. - Okay.
[AS FRENCHY] Lieutenant Steve, let's play some music.
Give it a go, give it a go.
We'd like to welcome you to Vietnam, the country that is more stimulating
You're on a DC-8 from Tan Son Nhat Airport
Vee.
the softball game between the 133rd and 4th Infantry Divisions
[COUGHS]
- Are asked to drop a card to Major Gerald Kleiner over at the 5th.
- No. I'm sorry. - No?
We shoot them.
CRONAUER: Here's a riddle for you.
WILKIE: Play game of softball.
No fraternising with these girls in the memo.
Or are you normally not that inquisitive?
Now, this thing is a delicate balance over here,
then when you return, I give you a free salad.
Those we would find acceptable here
DISPATCHER [OVER RADIO]: Four-twenty-seven as far as...
[YELLS] Good morning, Vietnam.
Personal missing luggage...
Pope Paul VI celebrated a Mass in Italian.
Most of all, I like what you've done for the men.
- What are queens? - Tall, thin men who like show tunes.
Say that.
KIRK: Oh, what a dude.
Ha, ha. Thank you so much, Adrian.
[SOLDIER] Poontang. [NORMAL] Thank you, Roosevelt.
We're out of here.
GARLICK: Try it again.
When are you gonna teach us to softball?
Don't you understand, Dick?
Doesn't mean you're like going:
You will address me as Sergeant Major Dickerson.
Hey, what kind of news are you leaving me there?
Very good. Okay, now we got a special situation right now.
- Thank you. - Thank you all the same.
that you paid more than a coloured TV for.
Look, I caught his show on the Isle of Crete, and this guy is funny.
I thought it was hilarious.
by having you write down your name, address,
[NOWHERE TO RUN TO PLAYING]
You guys take care of yourself because you all look like,
¿Quieres invertir en un Lote Campestre?
in connection with several bombings in the area,
it's for real too long i've waited too long my breath's down to a 6 body in my-- body in my inibatations so long i've waited too long it's for real step down you still say to stepadownadowd town. too long it's for real you said i'm high on the 6 get me drunk feeling on the 6 too long for real
And I'm stupid enough to save your bullshit life at An Loc.