Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

I want to avoid mentioning that I'm in a wheelchair.
Oh! I've never felt more alive!
Are you seriously looking for sympathy right now?
No, it doesn't matter what I like.
I'm kidding. [giggles]
[driver] 4.9 stars, and I offer snacks.
- We don't have to... - [Owen] Yes! You remember this one?
- ♪ Christ the everlasting Lord ♪ - You're off-key, Dad.
Okay, okay. Come here. Come here.
Natalie, she didn't come to New York for love. She came here for a story.
I've turned my horrible love life into a successful online writing career.
- [Josh grunts] - [Tag] All right, Josh.
It was me.
["Read My Mind" by Golda May playing]
Two, it snows at the end. Number three, there are presents involved.
Tag Abbott, he may as well have been Zeus's son...
Uh, and I'll be right back. Anyone need anything? No? No? Okay.
But relax, Dr. Foye is the best in town.
but Santa's actually kind of creepy when you think about it.
[holiday music playing]
but I'm pretty sure I qualified for the winter Olympics in Beijing. [chuckles]
- ♪ Merry ♪ - ♪ Merry ♪
You said, and I quote, "I wish you were here with me for Christmas."
that I never really stopped to look at my own.
Something a little bit more upbeat?
What kind of psychopath creates a fake profile
Uh. [laughing nervously]
- ♪ Very Merry Christmas ♪ - ♪ Very Merry ♪
Music prevents stretch marks, Owen.
The Lin household?
- Here are your drinks, guys. Get involved. - [woman] Thanks.
♪ It must have been something you said ♪
- [Bob] Aw! What a duet! Terrific! - [Barb] What a beautiful voice, Natalie!
It's a pretty decent photo of you, though.
Why the hell would you do that?
Not the baby Jesus. Don't. Don't. No, no, no, no.
[ethereal tinkling]
- [Barb] It's so good to see you! - [Bob] Honey! Wow!
Did I fly from LA to surprise him for Christmas?
Well, maybe if I'm helping you with something,
Good evening. Any questions on the menu?
- Yeah, try me. Oh! Okay, fine! - No. Oh!
I... I... I don't know.
[both laughing]
Okay, look, I... I can explain.
Uh, I'm gonna show her a grand tour of Lake Placid and the store.
He ended up being 20 years older than his photos.
- Oh. - It was, uh...
this might be the most sane thing you've ever done.
my family is pretty intense when it comes to Christmas presents.
but personally, I find him so inspiring.
this smells exactly like Grandpa.
So...
[Natalie] Half of you love a great Disaster Date story.
- [exhales deeply] - [text tones]
- ♪ This evening has been... ♪ - Totally consensual.
- [Natalie whimpers] - Now, close your eyes.
you would not have swiped on me. [grunts]
Oh! Thank God you're not dead.
and he likes his girls the same way.
Ugh. "Bottom Gun"?
Shut up. Are you joking?
I got you. One sec, baby girl.
- [panting] He's gone. - Are you sure?
height and facial symmetry are repulsive.
but I got a pretty great stepmom now, so...
May I see yours? And can you show me Josh's?
He does that every single, solitary time, even Halloween.
Kids in middle school used to ask me which chin I really used.
♪ Some days it don't come easy ♪
[inhales] uh, we just couldn't keep it to ourselves anymore. Um...
[Natalie sighs]
[breathlessly] My EpiPen!
[knocking on door]
He knows the difference between there and they are, which you'd be surprised by.
we just got so darn excited, and, uh,
I just can't, I'm sorry. I...
♪ Counting the days Been waiting since last year ♪
and after spending, uh, the last week with your beautiful bride-to-be,
- No! - Yes.
Oh! Well, that is awesome.
[chuckles]
I am not having sex with you.
Plus, he and my brother would just tease me about it.
- [Natalie] Do you have a hamper? - [Josh] It's over by the closet.
I mean...
if I pretended to be his girlfriend for the holidays.
You do not trust anybody unless he sends you a photo
♪ On the corner of Main Street ♪
[footsteps receding]
- ♪ Holy infant so... ♪ - [gasps] Oh!
to meet up with a guy who is literally the polar opposite
["Curls" by Bibio playing]
We ain't sharing.
And then, your second. Okay?
So, I decided to come here and surprise him for Christmas.
Die Hard is not a Christmas movie.
♪ Little Saint Nick ♪
Yeah.
Yeah, don't you think this is going a little too far?
I mean, you know,
Tonight I'll be assisted in the kitchen
I don't count carbs.
[Natalie] Owen really likes being the center of attention, huh?
From my stepmom's side, so that would technically make us step-cousins.
Oh, this is not the date. It's just a warm-up.
Oh, you're... you're... you're serious.
I think this might be the real deal.
♪ Her hair curls In the damp of the night ♪
Ah, that's funny, because I didn't know what to think
She's doing the rounds.
And what strengths are those?
The common denominator is that it's a bunch of LA assholes.
- [indistinct chatter] - [Barb] Oh my...
And those teeth.
What is this one?
- Get this off. - Don't undo that, come on.
I can help you get him.
[Natalie] No way. You were chubby as a kid too?
♪ Some nights you're like nothing I've ever seen before or will again ♪
Any questions?
I don't know if I have them.
Bear with me. Um... [sniffs]
What if he finds out I'm engaged to my cousin?
And you?
♪ Slow down, that's quite a pour ♪
♪ And these are the days that never end ♪
Being seen with you? That would be a huge win.
Walden?
[upbeat music playing]
I don't complain.
♪ You say you wanna move on and ♪