Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

[Kerry] Long gone, Nat. Besides, think of the story you'll write.

I met someone who's as perfect in person

Baked potato? I've got baked potatoes.

Okay. The first thing you need to know about Tag

I am so screwed!

Are you saying you don't want to work at the store anymore?

What are you doing here?

Oh. Okay. All right.

But fearing their power, Zeus split them into two separate parts,

[inhales] Four weeks ago, I met a guy online.

I... I thought that my perfect match was here,

maybe you can do something for me in return.

Well, she's right there.

Sure you don't want to stay the night? We're making a gingerbread house.

♪ Her hair, it curls In the depth of the night ♪

- It's making me miserable. - Oh, I'm sorry. [sucks in air]

[both men laughing]

Do you even climb?

- ♪ Pray for your mercy! ♪ - ♪ Reconcile ♪

A lot of guys bet big on China Tire.

an insensitive, attention-seeking [inhales deeply] jerk?

He loves that shit.

[Josh] Before there was Ferris Bueller, there was Peggy Ann McKay.

♪ Say you wanna ride... ♪

[Josh] Oh Jesus.

and I... I want you to make that rugged unicorn notice you, okay?

Well, actually, I was just dropping off your, uh, your lady's suitcase.

My God, honey, you are gonna make a therapist very wealthy one day.

- She has a condition. - Um.

- [Josh] No, you don't. [breathing heavily] - Yes, I do.

[Owen] Lin family, let's go!

Stephen King is too afraid to trick-or-treat here.

- So, you met the real Tag tonight, huh? - Mm-hmm.

and I didn't want to risk it.

Hey, can you do me a favor? Can you give this to Josh

There you go. [chuckles]

♪ I know you can save me ♪

For one, you have very nice eyes.

- Why? - Because it's a total scam.

Natalie. I... I know we haven't known each other for that long...

♪ Who'd have thought That we'd turn our home to hell? ♪

you'll find me at home in Lake Placid, New York, planning my next move.

[clicks tongue] Uh, yeah.

Um... Could you just pause for a second? It's a little distracting.

Okay, you're crazy.

[Tag] Okay, so... so you got mad at Josh for catfishing you,

- Mmm. So good! - She loves her toast!

- [bartender] Orange juice. Kiwi. - Say what?

♪ As long as the planets are turning ♪

♪ I dreamt last night ♪

- [all cheering] - She said yes!

Because this is going to be the most epic love story

♪ There's a tale about Christmas That you've all been told ♪

- [Josh] Good morning. - [chuckles]

It's, uh, I mean, there's some gnar... like, gnarly climbing there.

I just don't think you're the one to write it.

How do I make it clear

Forgot my luggage. So I'm gonna...

You wanna put your best foot forward.

- I figured it's the least I could do. - Oh.

with my own speech.

♪ Everlasting Lord! ♪

♪ Very Merry Christmas ♪

- Oh no. No, I don't. - It was wonderful! [laughing]

For years, I've been chronicling my disaster dates

We talked. [gulps] I made sure... The... the photo!

[footsteps approaching]

He's gotten more chiseled in the last couple of years.

♪ Oh girl I don't know all the reasons why ♪

The last time an intern forgot, I almost died.

- I'm gonna help her. - It's okay. Focus on...

why didn't you just leave?

[bells jingling]

And... and by the way,

You've been lifting those weights I bought you. Huh? Yeah!

[Kerry] All you have to do is make sure Tag and the Lins

I mean, that guy is everything that's wrong with Christmas.

I can see the steam!

Here, look at this.

Worst case, maybe I'll have a little meat.

But here's the thing.

- ♪ Merry ♪ - ♪ Merry ♪

Do I have to mention my Parkinson's?

- Someone kind, and honest, and ideally... - [man] Honey?

You won't find my article in the bottom of that glass.

Hey, babe. I want to introduce you to my parents.

and she has seen more ass than a church pew.

everyone, really. I...

Hey, bro, why don't you let me and Chels take this?

Someone's here to see you!

[bartender] No problem.

- Eucalyptus? - Bengay.

How could you lie to me? I really liked you.

- Are you all right? - [exhales]

All right. Come on. [exhales] We gotta go. Don't want to be late.

even with the three-hour time difference.

Not only were Tag and I best friends until 8th grade,

It's very expensive.

Having sex with her would literally kill her.

that you have ever read.

Is that my baby?

No! That's not what I'm saying at all.

♪ Anywhere means we're running ♪

Oh, thank you, Grandma.

Well, I don't know how to show that in a photo.

searching for their other half, their soul's equal.