Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

A tuning fork goes off in your heart, your balls...

You're going to play me for $400 with those?

Somebody tell this clown he doesn't have to talk all the time.

My life is too short to watch this team blow up….cause I’ve seen it too many times

Like he did in... No, fuck it.

- Jacobsen's laying up. - Took out an iron.

What kind of doctor did you say you were?

A man's driving down the road with his son.

...so can you break down into words how you did that?

...at 8 under par...

You can't fire me.

Conference, Troy?

You mean like a no harm, no foul kiss?

Be well, buddy. I'll see you out in the trenches.

- There. - What is this?

Why are you here?

It takes time to realize Prince Charming might be wearing a beer-stained shirt...

You need tell her something nice to start off with.

I kind of shanked that.

You can do it. I got a ball.

That puts Jacobsen into a tie at 7, guys.

Think of it as bragging rights.

...but I have hours to keep.

I'm a Waffle House guy. Got to stay in touch with that.

Jacobsen's going to lay up. He's tied for the lead.

And if somehow, by the grace of fluke luck...

I’m going over those trees With a little draw

...one swing...

I know a little spot along the river that's great to watch sunsets.

You got a tight par 5 here...

Come on, one more, just do it.

Why don't you just have a seat right there.

There's a little situation I'm dealing with the IRS.

Lowly and slowly...

This extraordinary Roy McAvoy, he just won't go away.

I thought that was the big fucking dog.

Can we get this over with?

He's got 85 yards from here and the drop zone is short of the water.

At 7:08. We're the first guys going.

...let the big dog eat.

Go right through there.

Tempo's everything.

You don't need an eagle to qualify.

- I do. - Watch the road.

You may be right, but you know what?

You can still make a birdie laying up.

Yes, it will, Roy.

There's something to this hat.

...it's got to be firm on the left-hand edge with this putt.

Hit the 7. You always hit that good.

You don't got the game.

I've seen what you've done with McAvoy. It could come in handy.

What's the catch?

Doctor looks at him, says:

- This is metal. - All woods are.

I took all the classes. I'm legitimate. Legal.

I'm not going left or right of those trees, okay?

Pretty good shape too.

The last thing he needs right now is an excuse to go for the green.

What are your labor costs?

Don't worry. You did fine. Give me the club.

230 to carry and the tour star is…

- Can I have your autograph. - No problem. To who?

You just threw that in the spa.

I think of the golf swing as a poem.

How'll getting into the Open change her opinion of you?

That's his best side.

...why don't we go somewhere a little fancy and celebrate?

What do you want?

Hit your putter, you can't shank.

I think that's a dead giveaway, but if I got the shanks, we'll be found out soon.

I know what I'm doing.

What'd you mean I should try being saddled sometime?

What about the river?

...fill of soulless robots like David Simms.

I didn't know that.

...at the charity golf event with tour star David Simms.

Coming out of Winter trying to find your swing

...serving as a caddy to David Simms at the celebrity event...

You just must get through a local and sectional qualifier, then like...

I'm an observer by nature

...who drinks too much booze, eats too few vegetables, okay?

...and 3 men all battling to be crowned the Open champion.

These two homeboys will show the world what golf in Texas is about!

Yeah, you, come here. Come here.

...you need to get off a $7 per hour job to do.

And on the other side of the river's a million bucks, on this side a boat.

The tractor kid gets four.

Christ Almighty Jesus.

That's Johnny Miller.

- What do you mean? - It's open.

I'm not cut out for this shit.

Yeah, kind of a semi-platonic little...

Sneak a few in the bag.

...it means they're about to leave them.

I ain't interested in that piece of shit.

Here’s to us...

GET THE HELL OUT! YOUR ASS IF FIRED

John Daly ended up in the water going for this green in two.

Unbelievable he's going for it 4 days in a row.

...you're not just at least...

We've been on a bus 2 days.

I just made a 12 on the last hole of the Open!

Do I come to your office and ask for an autograph?

Jeff on the last hole...

Not a good day.

Can you people not see that I'm busy? I'm working.