Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

unless you include John Julius Norwich's so-called History Of Byzantium,

Off on my merry way.

for facilitating an armed fucking robbery.

or throwing my iPad out the window.

I'm getting my shit together.

Shit! Right, text pub man, tell him not to shoot Mark.

'Oh, I'll buy you a ploughman's, Angus,

'Love amongst the mustard gas.'

Next thing I know, he's gone off to Turkey for five months.

Go on. I'm going to do it.

Yeah. But he's been made redundant, sadly.

'All aboard the Coconut Express. Next stop, Loony Town!'

Look, I have mortgage statements. Mate, I'm...

Er, I believe it's Greek, Mark.

# I'm not sick, but I'm not well And I'm so hot

No, it's turned, it's fucking turned on me.

He'd written the Nicene Creed all over his legs.

but in the end I'd probably have to say the Queen.

I'm sorry. It's a no.

I've got you the goods.

A muffin? You're going to stand here, waiting for a massacre, eating a muffin?

'Telephone, telephone, sunglasses, smiley face, crucifix, and "enter."'

I'm going to make you cry delicious tears,

And I'm thinking Herodotus and a bowl of muesli.

Er, sorry about that, Joe. He's famously flighty.

writing a book about the Byzantine Church, but for the general reader.

'He's just a big, beardy pen thief.

'Storage Wars, Walnut Whip, wank into a flannel.'

He's a devil, he's a saint.

We need to leave.

HE LAUGHS HYSTERICALLY

In terms of praxis, the difference between Russian and Greek

This programme contains strong language and adult humour.

I'm growing up and getting an actual office

You can't see it, but it definitely exists.

Well, guess what, I've got one word for you.

'Oh, God, help me.'

'And it tastes great.'

The big, brainy, wife-hogging shit.

'You're not really at Highgrove, are you, Jeremy?'

What do you mean, no shooting? I was going to get shot?