HOT
APP
STORIES
QUIZZES
DISCOVER
MEMES
EMOJI
More
CREATE STORIES
DAILY
DISCOVER
PHRASES
NUDGE CLIPS
CONTENT REQUEST
LOGIN
HOT
APP
STORIES
QUIZZES
MEMES
EMOJI
STORY
DAILY
PHRASES
DISCOVER
NUDGE CLIPS
REQUEST CONTENT
×
Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips
Well, maybe you thought I was too busy
Whip the vote. You understand that. Mommy's got to whip.
Do not make me call your fathers.
- Is he tall? - I should get back to work.
I just pardoned his stanky-ass turkeys,
Today's media-go-round was a tour De force.
There's gonna be a little swelling and of course a tiny bit of bruising afterwards.
It's time.
I'll get it.
Ice bucket challenge can suck my dick.
with a strong arm and a willing heart
Goddamn panic attack.
It's got to be a pretty stressful time.
Eat Protein and Carry On
Sir, you're calm, you're confident,
Somewhere in the world there's a woman exactly my age
Okay, well, you got the... that's a five.
Well, in many ways, this could be the best thing that could happen.
and also for tax evasion.
We're gonna have a mut... let's get some meat on your bones.
Thanksgiving has always meant sharing the bounty
- Where is the president? - James, do me a favor.
It was a fucking panic attack.
Morning. Happy Thanksgiving.
I think Tom is up to something with Sidney Purcell.
I value openness and straight talk.
Eat Protein and Carry On
- This is the new face. - It's a beautiful face.
but Fox says it with blonder hair and bigger tits.
Jeez, he couldn't eat a turkey unless you put it in a blender
Any news on Sherman?
You just got back from Nevada and you lost the recount.
- But... - Sounds like a big goddamn but.
I know, ma'am.
My rusty sheriff's badge?
sooner than you think, but only when she's ready.
Needless to say, I did not have root canal.
And Jonah's running for Congress in New Hampshire.
No, I got an email from that surrogate we met with.
No, Wendy's pissed.
Oh, yeah, this is a giant, juicy, muscular Serena Williams but.
- Oh! - Oh, I'm so sorry. How are you?
Thanksgiving wouldn't be complete...
To be honest with you, sir, she's not looking real good.
like an alcoholic father who has just stepped on a Lego.