Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

I bet Diane Sawyer never had to deal with crap like this.
You better do something about those nerves, sweetie.
because we only got three frickin' minutes on the battery.
to start the judging, start the interview there?
I just fell in love with the Big Apple last summer...
proud to be an Asian-American.
W- y-o-m-i-n-g.
His furniture's as fake as my orgasms.
"Who are you?" Oh, Mary, you kill me.
and I'm ass-up in somebody's flower bed.
Get your fucking ass!
Rebecca Ann Leeman!
No, that filth is better left to the sin cities.
Yeah, I love to swim.
Them: Happy 4th!! Me: This is Nazi Germany!!
We need that third judge. Gosh, don't let me forget...
dance...
What makes you think that Becky's going to win?
I told you I would move the car if a cripple came.
Why don't you see if there's any more beer...
I love you, baby
We need to think of a theme.
If you're seventeen...
and soaked in lye for a week or so.
you have a good chance to win this pageant?
Sidewalks? Sidewalks?
What a showdown this should be.
Come on, kick it!
Our Mount Rose
Mount Rose American Teen Princess is...
I need you, baby
or a fat lady in a tube top.
To touch
Back off, college boy! Now listen!
and if nobody minds...
The doctor said I was really lucky the flat side hit me.
Relax. That's my ma's code...
he went to live with a nice family on a farm...
Contestants. You know...
Airport hotel!
You know what? Peter's gay.
you'll meet here tonight is special and unique...
And my roommate did Adam West.
Sorry. I just thought she might not want to meet her maker...
Mom still cries when she sees a tilt-a-whirl...
She had a big ass then, she's got a big ass now.
Gladys Leeman's finally going to go to state...
Joining us now is David Richardson...
You stupid little retard
whose dream of riding on a giant swan...
OK, I think we all got some.
and this time someone didn't want her to win.
to die in the belly of a swan like that.
Do you do any of the embalming?
Oh, look.
I know who the winner is.
Stop it! Stop it!
Upset about Brett?
A- r-i-z-o-n-a.
When your teammate is too excited about the win
create world peace with one of her prayers...
I did it.
Hands resting lightly on your laps.
Well, Mom's dead, so shut your flytrap.
No, it's pure bullshit, sweetie.
all so I could have tap lessons and be in the pageant...
Trust in me when I say
Peter never would've pulled a shenanigan like that.
Keep them away from you so they don't get on the outfits.
IT MUST BE WEDNESDAY.
to give a really good interview...
Stop with the friggin' Marco Polo, or I'll come over there...
I know who the winner is
And now, a few words from last year's host...
And since my costume was OK'd a month ago...
Oh, God.
Now...
It was here before the opening number.
The third one, the blond one.
contestant number...
You bet.
Here's him as Madonna.
A bunch of us were going cow tipping.
And you're gonna win.
Scary? Let me tell you scary.
Yeah. I'll get 'em in a sec.
So, Becky, how does it feel?
Well, you know, we'll...
Come here.
Along with Sarah Rose Cosmetics...
Who deserves to win is Jon..he’s the prettiest ya know..best damn tapper...the most smartest!
My uncle Phil's world's-largest ball of twine...
What the fuck kind of landing is this supposed to be? Soft field my ass!!!
Tendu, close, pliÈ.
She all-American girl.
Usoda Ada
Love that one.
while he was setting coon traps for his dad.
I'm captain.
She our Teen American Princess.
I'm kind of dizzy from the fumes.
What?
provides personal growth, scholarship, travel!
I need Stella now.
'cause it was in Vegas.
If I die from these fumes...