Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

A friend of mine was wondering,

Today of all days? Are you kidding me?

I am late for an event.

WESLEY: Oh, monster voice sexy.

Okay, perfect. Hold that pose.

Catfish? Pretty Little Liars?

I know you miss me.

this early in the morning, okay?

What...? You're not into Wesley, are you?

I don't care about 15. She's a ten.

BIANCA: Hey. - Hey.

My cousin Charlie Piper?

so I just kind of scooted it on over here.

Hey, dummy humper, I found you a new boyfriend in health class.

Is this one of your lessons?

No, like I said, it's the poetry of the chord progression

Please don't start with the universe with me

Oh, I don't think he meant me too.

That was Florida. Seems like a long time ago.

- Who wants to know? - The only man in your life.

MADISON: Get out of my way.

My special place. You'll see.

- Yeah. - So I'm gonna...

I want you to walk over and get his phone number.

BIANCA: Yes. All right. - Okay.

to make sure that I was doing my homework.

[KNOCKING ON DOOR]

Hey, I got your message.

- who videotape everything. WESLEY: Oh, here we go.

And I realize now that none of this matters to me.

OH HELL YA THEY CAN....

BIANCA: So, what does homecoming mean to me?

And then she was all like, Bitch, if I wanted your opinion, I'd ask.

WESLEY: I deserved that.

Look at you not in a pantsuit.

WOMAN: That is not a good look.

You label everybody to try to keep them down,

Is it intimidating?

Honey, forget about the five stages. I have got some real advice for you.

I'm my own best friend

I'm going out with Toby. Toby's the guy that I like.

I'm... I'm sorry, I didn't...

I was cruising the halls with my two best friends.

BIANCA: Do you think he didn't come?

- Have you met me? - Okay.

- Toby. - Tuba?

BIANCA: There you go. - Thank you.

Guys, I don't see Toby.

weowowowwIiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii

maybe you took baths with them when you were little,

Here are my chemistry notes, okay?

- Hey, Bianca, about the other... - Shh, shh, shh.

Ahem. Uh, sure is, yeah.

MAN: Can we do one more...? - Okay, not again.

- It was kind of beautiful. - Yeah, it was.

and it worked for you and it didn't work for me,

- You are very talented. - It's really perfect, Jess.

- I'm a regular Bela Lugosi. - Who?

I know. I have my first Internet date.

Here. Lots of options for you.

BIANCA: It could not have gotten worse.

WESLEY: No, no, if you're doing homework, I'm gonna kill myself.

- This is a good one. - Aw, heh.

Even got a little action. I didn't have to do anything.

Yeah, but I don't feel like going.

Wes, if I wanted to go shopping and talk about girly stuff,

Wow, that is an interesting dress.

- Excuse me, I might. - Mm?

Heh, okay, you know what? Here, you can have it.

Oh no, no, no, no

MAN: Save it for therapy, okay, honey?

Just forget it.

You could be on the cover of GQ. Back cover.

- What? - I said, go on with the story,

Yeah, all right.

You know, I was thinking maybe retail slut or just slut whore.

Because you, my friend, are a juvenile dipshit.

Yes, please. Ha, ha.

But such powerful women?

We're... No? You're...

You know, people like you don't hang out

You called me fat and ugly, Wesley.

[CROWD LAUGHING]

And I thank you.

Guys can be DUFFs too, okay?

I know. That just makes me more exotic on the site.

Step two: Time to show the world who you are.

You were on a date with Toby.

- no Tinder, no Facebook, no Hulu... - Just say no Internet. We get it.

How about tonight you just worry about what you think about you?

who suffer from performance anxiety.

It’s a wiener!

and have the perfect evening.

a place without labels.

I couldn't get through three words of that.

No? Not for you? Okay. Um...

Good for you. Good talk. You know what? Get back out there.

WOMAN: I do everything around this house, and you don't do...

This is just getting weird now.

It's not like a big deal, okay? I mean, like, every group of friends has one.

Well, it is a little...

GIRL 1: Oh, my God, he called her a five. Ha, ha.

That's probably a good idea.

Well, I can't seem to talk to him