Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

So we are off to a great start, smart-ass.

Boy, this one's gonna destroy you.

- Big old balls. - Ha, ha. Right.

Ha, ha. Yeah. Well, thanks.

- The most beautiful couple? GIRL: Oh, my God.

- Done. BIANCA: What? No, no way.

And Casey, she's, like, this, you know, fiery Latina.

Boobs look good. New bra?

[SPEAKING IN SPANISH]

Also I brought pizza.

- Hey there? - Hop up.

Okay, Blue Devils, it's time to crown our king and queen.

WESLEY: Hey, Bianca, it's Wesley.

I just want it to be

Well, that's because you're racist against jocks. You're a jock-cist.

BIANCA: Can we please just make this quick?

That was not bad.

- Cool. - Okay.

It's kind of nice.

Kids started writing to me with their own DUFF stories,

- Hmm. ls Wesley aware of this? - He will be made aware.

That is the opposite of what I just said.

Oh, God, I want you so bad. Toby...

Are you seriously mad at me right now?

Guess what, so are you. So is everybody.

and I got expression.

- Viral? - Viral.

- Little meow, meow, meow. - Ugh.

of the three of us. You're loyal, you're funny.

- Mm. Fascinating. - People like me matter here.

JESS: Come on, B. Come on, B.

It's big because it's on a chalkboard.

- No, I don't... I don't remember it. - You sure?

But it does to you. It's your dream.

Oh, just give it to me, Toby.

And people like me don't date anybody.

Does he say complimentary things to you?

Who are you and what have you done with Wes?

Look, I like myself.

I'm not the DUFF.

[DOG BARKING ON PHONE]

The place with the metal claw game?

Can I have my sweatshirt?

Hmm. This is a tough conversation for me.

BIANCA: Wesley and Madison were known around school

- Okay. - Rip it.

You bet your ass, you are. Whoo! Who's number one in your brain?

- Huh? CASEY: B.

- I'm a DUFF. - I'm a DUFF.

- Wesley. Monster voice? - Yeah.

I’m a regular Bela Lugosi! Who?

Princesses are on antidepressants.

[BIANCA CHUCKLES]

In my head, I think I was expecting some big reality-show reveal.

Well, I do love Dave & Buster's,

Hey, B, will you take a look at my fashion piece?

- He approached me. MADISON: Oh. Totally.

BIANCA: Oh, no. No, no, no.

- That dress is beautiful on you. - Thanks.

you could only be a jock, a geek,

CASEY: Ha, ha. He can't even spell.

- The first is denial. - No way, because I'm not dying.

and bring your special brand of journalistic gravitas

Say when. Say...

Look, I'm no wine expert, but I'm pretty sure

Ooh. How about this? It's a little darker, kind of sexy. Hmm?

- What, um...? Were you...? - That... You know what?

What do you think?

You did. And I thank you.

Right, well, that should be fun.

Yeah, she is. I should forward this.

Hit that... Hit that, uh... That long one in the middle.

You need a booth, okay? It's better for flirting,

[IN NORMAL VOICE] I wanna be your wife.

You want this date to end with you making out, you need to think ahead.

until we have gotten to the bottom of this.

But times have changed.

Okay, kids, enjoy your party. I love you. I have another seminar to prep for.

to an article about homecoming.

- What do you think? - Hey, look at those.

Yeah, it's sort of acceptance plus,

I'm horny for sex.

Bye. We said it at the same time.

- Is this where you kill me? - Ha, ha. Yes.

It is a mantra that I teach all of my clients

Comments, likes, Tweets, memes,

Okay, girl, I know some DUFFs too.

Super. Where are your girls at?

HOMER: What's after fear? HIBBERT: Bargaining.

If anybody ever sees this, I'll rip your nut sack off.

Now that I'm here, I know it. Your move.

And you know what else? I'm blocking your ass on Tumblr.

So much to learn.

I'm telling you, I'd really lost hope around Guy 17, you know.

Fine. Although I did hear Toby's gonna be at the party tonight.

I promise, I didn't send the video, okay?

There's always gonna be somebody prettier or more talented

but I had to stay focused on my Toby mission.

Whatever you said was meaningless, okay?

They like him because he's, like, an amazing guy.

GIRL: Nope, not me, either.

Lick your lips a little bit.

I'm tired of being the approachable one.

And people don't like him, because he's with you.

You're good at this. I'm feeling mad inspired.

You get it? Because he's small?

I'm my own best friend.