Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

What? What are you talking about?

...Mr. Wesley Rush.

Believe it happened yesterday.

a princess, a bully or a basket case.

- Wait for it. CASEY: Bianca, don't do it.

I just... I can't see Wes.

where you realize who you are, you accept it,

Because, like everyone else in school, he knew what I was.

Our school serves pizza five days a week,

I couldn't possibly care less.

BIANCA: It all started senior year, about a month before homecoming.

BIANCA: Although Jess' menu of dudes was never-ending,

There once a boy named Toby Tucker Bianca Piper just wished he would...

- Hey. - Now, that's a classic look.

I would bang her so hard we'd both need helmets.

WESLEY: Hey, Billy.

and then you, um,

Step one: First impressions matter,

- Go. - Okay, I'll tell you how it goes.

- Try to keep it in your pants. - Next.

- ...I'll round it outwith old trusty... CASEY: Not the flannel.

Why, thank you.

I have feelings for you.

Okay, I will keep looking.

Actually, I've been meaning to talk to you, Toby.

You look beautiful.

Plus, Wesley would never leave me for some DUFF anyway.

BIANCA: Ma, I'm off to my big night.

People ask you questions about them, right,

What's that buzzing I hear?

GIRL 2: Flash mob hump session on Toby at 3:30?

[PLAYING SIMPLE TUNE]

- ...all night. - Wait, what?

Whoa whoa whoa!

intertwining with the poetry of the lyrics.

Guess what else.

A, don't leave your curtains open,

If you asked me at the beginning of senior year,

Why is your hand messed up?

I mean, not to me. I never went to a dance when I was a kid.

but to the majority of kids in school,

- Hey, Trevor. - Have fun tonight, Trevor.

Now it all makes sense.

JESS: B, really?

[SIR MIX-A-LOT'S I LIKE BIG BUTTS PLAYING ON PHONE]

If you must know, I've never been on an actual date before.

- No, just Bianca. - Jesus.

[STUDENTS SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY]

and that's definitely mightier than a sword.

paid by taxpayer money

I mean, I've been working on it for a little bit, so...

- What are you doing? - I just have to...

- We good? - We're good.

Oh, well, you didn't really miss much.

Damn, dude. All right.

- Hey. - Ooh, look at those moves. Whoo!

So then I just started writing poems, and those poems became songs and...

- Wow, you really dressed up. - Oh?

You do. Come on.

What's wrong with porn?

Mine is this way, though.

you should just be straight-up with them

The one who doesn't look as good, thus making their friends look better.

and, uh, maybe try on a new attitude while you're at it.

Drumroll, please.

What happens here?

[BIANCA CHUCKLES]

do they have dates to the homecoming dance next weekend?

Now he's doing the second most important job a DUFF can do,

Well, it's either that or all the duck-head poses people do on here.

It's gonna be free. The first one's always free.

Oh, don't worry, um, it's a working title.

Date night. I worked up all my courage

So stop messing it up for those of us who do.

I am the gatekeeper.

What are you doing?

Ah, kind of looks like a penis, only smaller.

- You're listening at the door again? - Yes, I was. This is juicy stuff.

- Huh? - Wow. Um...

only you can define yourself.

their eyes filled with this, like, sparkle, you know, with, like, childlike wonder,

When my parents got divorced, my mom wanted custody of me,

I never should've called you the DUFF, okay?

Looks like the lessons are off to a real great start there, coachy.

Was that a little laugh? There was a little laugh there.

Then I am taking you off of Instagram.

See Sweater Guy over there?