Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

If you asked me at the beginning of senior year,

a princess, a bully or a basket case.

Plus, Wesley would never leave me for some DUFF anyway.

I couldn't possibly care less.

- Huh? - Wow. Um...

- No, just Bianca. - Jesus.

What's that buzzing I hear?

Because, like everyone else in school, he knew what I was.

Our school serves pizza five days a week,

Guess what else.

intertwining with the poetry of the lyrics.

GIRL 2: Flash mob hump session on Toby at 3:30?

Believe it happened yesterday.

Date night. I worked up all my courage

[STUDENTS SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY]

- ...I'll round it outwith old trusty... CASEY: Not the flannel.

Then I am taking you off of Instagram.

and, uh, maybe try on a new attitude while you're at it.

- Go. - Okay, I'll tell you how it goes.

and then you, um,

Now it all makes sense.

- ...all night. - Wait, what?

WESLEY: Hey, Billy.

You look beautiful.

See Sweater Guy over there?

Damn, dude. All right.

If you must know, I've never been on an actual date before.

- Wait for it. CASEY: Bianca, don't do it.

What? What are you talking about?

When my parents got divorced, my mom wanted custody of me,

I just... I can't see Wes.

I never should've called you the DUFF, okay?

- We good? - We're good.

...Mr. Wesley Rush.

- Hey. - Now, that's a classic look.

- What are you doing? - I just have to...

their eyes filled with this, like, sparkle, you know, with, like, childlike wonder,

I have feelings for you.

Why is your hand messed up?

BIANCA: Although Jess' menu of dudes was never-ending,

I am the gatekeeper.

you should just be straight-up with them

do they have dates to the homecoming dance next weekend?

- Hey. - Ooh, look at those moves. Whoo!

The one who doesn't look as good, thus making their friends look better.

Okay, I will keep looking.

A, don't leave your curtains open,

- Try to keep it in your pants. - Next.

- You're listening at the door again? - Yes, I was. This is juicy stuff.

What happens here?

but to the majority of kids in school,

and that's definitely mightier than a sword.

Mine is this way, though.

Step one: First impressions matter,

- Wow, you really dressed up. - Oh?

Oh, well, you didn't really miss much.

BIANCA: Ma, I'm off to my big night.

Was that a little laugh? There was a little laugh there.

So stop messing it up for those of us who do.

Now he's doing the second most important job a DUFF can do,

I would bang her so hard we'd both need helmets.

I mean, not to me. I never went to a dance when I was a kid.

What's wrong with porn?

- Hey, Trevor. - Have fun tonight, Trevor.

Drumroll, please.

paid by taxpayer money

It's gonna be free. The first one's always free.

Looks like the lessons are off to a real great start there, coachy.

Whoa whoa whoa!

where you realize who you are, you accept it,

So then I just started writing poems, and those poems became songs and...

People ask you questions about them, right,

Well, it's either that or all the duck-head poses people do on here.

You do. Come on.

[BIANCA CHUCKLES]

BIANCA: It all started senior year, about a month before homecoming.

Oh, don't worry, um, it's a working title.

What are you doing?

Actually, I've been meaning to talk to you, Toby.

[SIR MIX-A-LOT'S I LIKE BIG BUTTS PLAYING ON PHONE]

only you can define yourself.

Why, thank you.

I mean, I've been working on it for a little bit, so...

[PLAYING SIMPLE TUNE]

Ah, kind of looks like a penis, only smaller.

There once a boy named Toby Tucker Bianca Piper just wished he would...

JESS: B, really?