Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

Tomorrow's Christmas, everybody!
You’re Watching Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt On Sling TV
we're on a hard-to-hear conference call.
Eek! A sound!
Ugh, why would you say that?
who has never beaten me once.
(PHONES CHIME AND VIBRATE)
Just put the food in the fridge.
around all that equipment.
Oh, you know what, Deirdre? I just remembered.
and whatever dress you pick out, or...
he did leave her.
instead of tonight?
He was a ghost the whole time.
Anyhoo, Said the any owl...
Your feet aren't bleeding anywhere,
I'm sorry. I freaked out.
he's trying to open up to me.
At least, that's what my guests will think
Why do they look so tired all the time then?
all gay people know how to arrange flowers.
Do you have a plan?
Uh, you mean the river in Egypt?
And I'm all, Welcome to the party, pal!
(CRYING)
Also, iTunes suspended my account,
(GASPS) Of course!
I actually have two sisters named Theresa,
at pretending to pay attention to people.
So we are talking about Fleet Week.
whose greatest accomplishment is getting pregnant
What would you do
First Americans for Turtle Island.
- I stayed at a hotel once. - Nobody likes you.
Listen up, side-pieces.
What?
Sometimes.
If I had more time, you know I'd love to.
(DEIRDRE) Not bad.
Oh, you're nice.
(JACQUELINE) Nothing good is going to happen!
- Congratulations. - (CLAPS)
It turns out, around other people,
I don't know how to talk about this stuff.
My Nonno, he insists on still having a garden.
Don't touch my dolls, they're strictly look-upons?
An ostrich can run 30 miles an hour.
No, Jacqueline, you can't give up.
and yet we memorialize you
My name is Jacqueline White,
I mean, you started punching me.
That's a cool, shorter way to say nuggets.
(GRUNTING)
Well, obviously. It's my gala.