HOT
APP
STORIES
QUIZZES
DISCOVER
MEMES
EMOJI
More
CREATE STORIES
DAILY
DISCOVER
PHRASES
NUDGE CLIPS
CONTENT REQUEST
LOGIN
HOT
APP
STORIES
QUIZZES
MEMES
EMOJI
STORY
DAILY
PHRASES
DISCOVER
NUDGE CLIPS
REQUEST CONTENT
×
Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips
But then the wedding ring the doctor found
And he goes, Oh, 'cause I need ten-foot rebar.
Turdgun.
think my benefit is two months from now,
Do go on.
How do you have Sting? I have Sting!
I remembered it like this:
So the flowers, decorations, catering...
Well, speaking of drywall,
We give to causes that actually affect us.
Not all New Yorkers know each other, Virgil.
Not enough people know about Lupus Awareness.
Reg wants me to pretend
No, sir.
It's G.I. Joe.
And I'm gonna make you wish you'd never climbed up there. (UPBEAT MUSIC)
(SIGHS)
Tonight's my big charity thing.
I thought you've finally found someone you can open up to...
(APPLAUSE)
(MUTED) I get turned on by setting fires!
A guy who really understands what I went through.
I emailed him myself!
but I am not a customer... yet.
That's not true.
inside a housekeeping cart?
Why do you think I'm here,
Anyhoo, said the any owl...
you're just going to town on a mop.
$8.6 septillion.
You look like you've seen some stuff.
So, where'd you serve?
but it was the five-foot instead of the ten-foot.
And, one.
But Walter is very romantic.
I just redid my sister Theresa's house...
where IEDs could be hidden,
Oh, I'm not a waitress,
♪ They alive, damn it ♪
I need you to go pick up my dress from Bergdorf's.
I'm usually pretty good at spotting other vets.
and laugh at what people think is scary.