Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

♪ I play my music in the sun ♪

I haven’t jizzed in 33 years and you pounded my testicles

♪ Oh, I shall not be moved ♪

You have a firm grasp of the obvious.

it's another article about Deepak Chopra being number one

I get it! I am distracted!

I told her she should give you another chance.

Oprah! Come on, Oprah.

Get busy, Bodhi.

Brad and Angelina.

Yes, of course. Yeah, business. Yes, of course.

Stay away from my girlfriend!

Yeah. This ain't Driving Miss Daisy, man.

When you really want something... You gotta work for it

In order to learn distraction,

Neo-Eastern-Self-Help-Spiritualist is no small thing.

Now, take a look at this.

♪ Oh, I shall not be moved ♪

(WHISTLE BLOWS)

That's okay. Give me a hug.

by the greatest singer ever from Quebec,

Blowme, yeah. Blowme.

I'd like to thank the Academy.

No, you might want to pick up some depends.

Mariska Hargitay, Your Holiness.

I'm the next Deepak Chopra!

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Let me handle this.

Cherkov, call a time-out.

To seek my true self.

Can I still jerk off?

RAJNEESH: Bodhisattva!

I will show you a Darren who is completely changed.

Bing-bam-boom, you got a baby pachyderm. Back to you, Trent.

would you help your Uncle Jack off an elephant?

I know I'm excited, Jay. How are you?

You see, you're filled with joy of a child!

and if they don't see Darren and Prudence together by the next game,

I miss Prudence.

Guru Pitka, this is Jane Bullard, owner of the Toronto Maple Leafs.

Lambert's Intermission Strategy Chat

Jane! Jane, wait!

doesn't mean that Prudence will only love you when you achieve.

ALL: Seven, six, five, four... Seven, six, five, four...

- Let's see what's happening rinkside. - JAY: No!

I am His Holiness, the Guru Pitka.

The fans who supported me with their cards and letters

As long as Jacques "Le Coq" Grande is banging Darren's wife,

If you don't get on that plane, I will take 60% of the ashram!

Now, your entourage must stay behind.

I should go. No, Jane, wait! I...

And my guru, Guru Tugginmypudha had a guru, Guru Cheddafrumunda.

Your Holiness? Mark my words, this shortcut will haunt you.

I didn't hear anything.

Well, they didn't protect you from that outfit, now, did they?

Mariska Hargitay... Mariska Hargitay.

TRENT: This is it, folks. Game four.

That would mean Roanoke would be out for game two and three!

You change your hair color? 'Cause it looks nice.

But that's not what we're having tonight.

I was put on this earth to spread a message of peace and love.

What did you do to my rooster?

Looks like he's smuggling a schnauzer.

She's like kryptonite to him.

Actually, it's Leafs.

Who is this prick?

(GURGLING CONTINUES)

Do you think he's really changed?

Once again, I'm Trent Lueders.

Miss Celine Dion.

I took another job.

I gotta get my girl back, GP.

I know, it is weird.

because he bogarted the rehab toilet hooch

bedroom eyes, pouty lips,

Babu, you cannot take a shortcut.

Just Etch A Sketch everything I was saying.

Right here? There. Right there.

You have gone from nowhere to now here.

What'd you call me, Jagamo?

but he's playing great!

♪ Raise up your song ♪ ♪ and not your fists ♪

♪ Raise the roof beam high ♪

Holy (BLEEP)...

but I won't say bad things about myself!