Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

This is where I started out. This is where I'm from.

You're men! Men!

Have you given any thought at all to the head injuries

- There she is! - Say hello.

Attaboy, Dougie! Come on, kiddo!

The ice and the puck are like equations, eh, Parkie?!

I ain't much for waiting around.

Let's get fucking real, boys.

It's just a little toy... but it's official.

You're welcome.

- Hey. - Howdy.

Oh, yeah, says the fucking Frenchman!

I got to go, Doug.

He's run into by Finnerty, and now Glatt comes in.

those are your teammates that you fucked up out there.

- Yeah? Go fuck yourself. - Patty, do me a favor.

Oh, Albee, this is my youngest son, Doug.

Let's get so fucking drunk

because you cannot even stop a fucking beach ball.

I guess hockey is like math to him.

Look at you! Did you fall off a toilet-paper roll?

Fuck me, Angus.

So, what Ivy League school are you hiding at, Doug?

Now Ferris shoots it up the boards.

All I'm saying is don't go trying to be a hockey player.

Popped my cherry. What does that mean?

Oh, hi. This is Rollie Hortense.

Ladies and gentlemen, this is only the first period.

That plays hockey, like you.

- I don't want you to see my dick. - Why you being gay?

you'd better figure it out quick and get your fucking shit together!

Did you know that cows only meow when people are around?

100% pure natural skill.

Kick his ass, Dougie! Come on!

Oh, The Thug is coming in on a power play.

fuck your parents if they don't fucking appreciate you, man.

So, Dougie, you're the tough Yank who beats the shit out of everyone.

And the puck drops! Face-off win by Hamilton.

I want to see every single one of you

Man, I'm wasted.

You don't get what I'm saying, do you?

Why don't you stop the puck in your big vagina,

You want a fucking piece of me, you little fucking faggot?

Glatt, you're promoted.

Now the puck back in the Highlanders' zone,

Come on now! Let's go!

Off the draw, here's LaFlamme out on the ice now.

Hey, pretty boy, you find that funny?

It's the mascot of the team I play for...

Here's a little dose. Little dose.

- Let's go, Doug! - Come on, Dougie!

Here's LaFlamme moving up the right side.

- Hello. Ah! - Oh, sorry.

two rules stay away from my percocets and do you have any percocets?

It's not the first time that wind blew garbage in my face.

We got to be fucking triceps, biceps, R-ceps hard!

I have fist smarts. Now, I can fight.

Windsor moves the puck out of their zone.

Asians are an industrious people.

There's the game puck. I'm proud of you.

Here we go, boys! Here we go!

on Xavier LaFlamme three years ago.

with his team nursing a tenuous one-goal lead.

two rules stay away from my percocets and do you have any fuckin percocets?

It'll be the first time, the best time, in a long time.

Oh! Skull fuck your sockets

Clear it out! Clear it out! Give me the puck!

Douglas Menahem Glatt!

Fourth game of the season, it's the home opener.

Yeah! Why did you do that?

Who the fuck is this guy?

This is about to get ugly.

Here comes LaFlamme,

Glatt and Rhea both in the penalty box.

Here's LaFlamme. He moves it over to Glatt.

Where's the call?

You're gonna love this restaurant.

You're a ducking goon! A bag!

LaFLAMME: Hey, man.

What's wrong You have a little Puss Puss

How? You're in China.

You’re riding piss hole, back of the bus

Thank you. Thanks so much.

That's why joke is

I just have to go to the washroom a sec.

Like the Bible,

Hey! What the hell?

- Yes, I like hot dogs. - Great!

Your Fucking Ass Scored

Good job, boys. See you tomorrow morning.

Thank you, sir.

I'm sorry. It's... I keep saying that. I'm sorry.

No, I wanted to give this to Mom and Dad, actually,

Ah! You feel that shit, Rhea?

in front of a good crowd