Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

Got the damn League of Nations here.

My dad's not from here.

The catcher's good. Just good enough to get in trouble.

You better shut up before I tell somebody you touched my pecker.

ls this what you teach them?

- What the hell is this? - I don't know.

- Really? - Yeah.

Way to go, Hooper!

Comedy real frame

We're gonna get laughed at. We only have a week till the season starts.

Matthew Hooper?

and I'm afraid your boys are getting the S-H-l-T end of the stick.

- You did? - Yeah, I did.

You wanna win, right?

Keep your drawers on, officer, I'll get back to you.

You know, American things.

white and red. They're all gone.

He says I should just worry about school and work.

-Tell us about the majors, coach. -You were in the majors?

- Leave me alone! - Give me that!

See, here's the thing. lf you get on, we're loaded, and Kelly is up next.

These things take time, guys.

- Hooper. - Hooper. Hooper!

Just come play with us, will you?

I haven't been as good a coach as I can be. I know I can do it

- You deserve it. - Wait. Nonalcoholic.

Bad news for the liberals

Don't talk about fair play when your kids are throwing punches.

Bad news for the Hornets, that's what it means.

What the hell is that, a baggie full of bacon?

Bad news for the Suns, that's what it means.

Thanks. I really needed another reason for people to laugh at me.

Round it, round it, round it!

We can wait till he sobers up.

I don't understand a damn thing you're saying, okay?

- Everybody to the dugout. - Buttermaker.

Are you actually telling me how to raise my child?

I did do some simple flowcharting and data analysis.

- Really? - I'll take it.

I was really touched by this. He's a hell of a team player.

Bad news for the Magic, that's what it means!

Engelberg, will you throw the goddamn ball already?

You play your game, we'll play ours, Ray. How's that?

I mean, you're letting Toby pitch? What are you thinking?

Save them the humiliation.

Sorry, chief. Sorry.

You know, your face is turning a little red, Ray.

And by the way, I meant to tell you this. lt was Redondo Beach.

Listen, kid. l...

Come on, guys! Two more laps! You're dragging ass!

Come on, guys! Two out.

and now you're putting wheelchairs in the outfield?

because I don't know what else my mom saw in you.

Up next, number 1 8, Justin Cahill.

Come on, come on, come on.

doesn't mean I don't care about her, okay?

I just want you all to know that there's no losers,

You can take your thin blue line And shove it right up your asses

You got a problem, Tanner?

Just Cointreau, Patron, lime juice and superfine salt.

Now batting for the Yankees, number 1 0, Jimmy Wilkins.

I gotta tell you, a lot of these dads, they don't--

- Really? - But maybe. So...

You know, he's your son.

I want nice hips and C cups.

I said watch it!

The sixth grade.

And de-pantsing.

And I'll help you out with the car

Swing out a little bit when you run around the base.

- Number 1 0... - No pressure, guys!

One more out! Come on!

So how's your mom?

And people that I want to thank--

Way to go, sweetie.

And trust me, you don't want to spend your Sunday afternoon

lt all right, sweetie. I got a little butterball just like him at home.

You follow the ball right into here. You see that? Okay?

You seemed to imply you're going to hit it out here.

The Yankees lead 3-nothing.

Come on, buddy. Get a piece of it.

lt's great you're doing this, Morris. Really.

Hell, yeah, I played with people who are famous.

I mean, he came over to check mine.

- What the hell does that mean? - lf we stay focused,

Thanks, Ray. I appreciate it.

l'll say. I left more talent floating in the shitter this morning

Let's go, Abdul. Let's go, buddy.

Well, perhaps you can help me to broaden my lexicon.

He was under the tag, coach.

You bowl over little girls like that? ls that what you do?

Otherwise, why are you here?

Hooper, I told you I was gonna make you into a ballplayer, didn't l?

All you need is a jar of honey and a glass coffee table.

See? You use your legs. All right?

I got something for you.