Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

I'm sorry, sir, but we've lost her. Nothing out there but commercial traffic.

Ain't that one of my chickens? No, it's a parrot.

Make your depth 5-0-0 feet, seven degree down bubble.

Hang on, RJ. You're not getting out of it that easy. Now get your butt up there.

- I was trained to command a nuclear boat. - Are you refusing to take command?

It's the crew from hell.

- Prepare to rig for dive! - Aye, rig for dive.

Don't you dare tell me that.

Rig for silent running

Lt Commander Tom Dodge.

- What the hell are you doing? - Stocking the pantry, sir.

This crew is the most incompetent bunch of retards and assholes in naval history.

Yes, sir. Seaman Stanley Sylvesterson, sir!

It's a rustbucket. It's a shitbox!

I'd like to think so.

- The tanker, sir? - We're going to use it as a hat.

When you get a serious green haze... and realize it’s your dog

Dodge's fitness report also presents a man who three years ago

We have a faint echo, Captain. 15,000 yards at three-four-niner.

We didn't have clotheslines. We had those dryer things with the window on the front.

Down periscope. Emergency deep.

- Make that two-and-half degrees. - Two-and-a-half degrees, aye.

- Running lights? - Turn 'em on!

I'm not happy with this boat, sir.

I never saw this shit on the recruiting poster.

Passing 300 feet.

Contact is breaking off, sir. Leaving the area fast and noisy.

This is what I live for! DBF.

- Cool. Did we hit an iceberg? - Off the coast of Virginia?

- Balao class, refitted 1958. - Balao class? But that's a diesel sub.

It's to remind me what I'll be driving next year instead of this.

That's 25. Chew it silently.

All right, gentlemen! Let’s kick this pig!

I want a man with a Nazi tattoo on his dick.

Somebody find Clark and launch him out a torpedo tube

Hey, Karl. Ain't that one of my chickens?

She's going to be our diving officer.

I didn't say that!

a terrorist intent on getting a nuclear warhead into a harbour?

I'm a dedicated pain in the butt, sir.

Thank you, sir. But I can take care of myself.

Now, keep an eye on the string.

One-and-a-half down bubble. All ahead full.

What's the surface traffic like?

Permission to enter, Lt Lake.

Are we really going to blow something up, sir?

Well, if it's a cold morning, sir, you might...

(series of commands)

Now, gentlemen, now! Let's go. Like it already happened.

- We'll work on that, sir. - You do that, Commander.

Make normal one-third turns. Come right at 3-4-6.

(sailor) Go, boys!

You forgot like an idiot, because you're stocking the pantry like an idiot.

to test the feasibility of women serving on submarines

When your wife thinks you can't hear it.

You Should be more Careful, Sir. Remember, When You Rush, That's When Accidents Happen.

- 1100 yards to target and closing. - Ha-cha-cha!

Sonar originally classified this contact as a possible submarine.

Engine Man, First Class, Brad Stepanak!

You're the only one who can timmeh I'm just guessing here!

Jesus, Buckman. This stuff's been on the Stingray since Korea.

" Lew switch to channel 3, try it now" SCO patching L/L before flight quarters.

- Anything unusual up there? - Just fishing boats. Weather's gotten bad.

Big Jimmy, a guy I owed money to, had one.

that seems to sum up Dodge's character.

Does he mean underwater?

Watch your drift here. Strong crosscurrents.

(Buckman) You sure her clothes are in there?

Oh, good. Our chaplain has arrived.

Let me rephrase that. It's going to make things difficult on all of us as well.

Well, sometimes a captain must take unilateral action.

- Notjust yet. - They'll find us in no time like this.