Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

I like it, I like the way you handle your business.

Keep your voice down people are playing

What are you doing here?

That's pretty, uh...

Hi, Mom. Okay, stop it.

and my mom used to cry because she thought I would never be,

Hey! Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, Tex!

You're telling me that you're with this guy now?

Wow. What is that?

These are the happiest times of my life, all right?

Okay, okay, okay. We gotta do something.

What do I want to learn?

O ye of little faith.

Okay. Okay. Excuse me, Lizzie.

What the hell happened to you?

So you're saying,

No, I want you to pretend to be the dean.

We'll just relax, get some sleep, we'll regroup tomorrow morning.

It's opening yourself up to this great big ball of shit that we call life!

it was the first time my parents ever said they were proud of me!

Dinner's at 8:00. Wait, Dad, Dad, Dad, I can't... I can't... Aw, shit.

Sorry. Friends of mine.

Wow, that's so cool, B.

Stop yellin' in the damn phone.

At South Harmon, we like to begin each semester

by Dean Richard Van Horne,

I'm goin' to Papua New Guinea. I'm outta here.

But we need some sort of, like, mission statement or something.

Hey, Hoyt, let me introduce you to an old friend of mine.

What's he doing?

There's a great op-ed piece in there about not believing everything you read.

Good luck, Son.

What? What are you talking about?

Yeah, it looks pretty unbelievable, huh?

I want the PUMP….

Glen, go long. Set up a meeting with the dean.

Did you say South Harmon?

and I can pay you all four years in advance.

Tell me that you're not that naive.

an economic boom.

I'm sorry, Mr. Gaines.

All right. All right.

and we'll never forget the ideals that were instilled in us

This is the worst idea of all time.

Hey, man, where the heck do we eat around here?

You can't go in there.

It's really provocative.

Now, she's got a shot. I've got a shot.

That's $74,000,000.

No, no, Dad, they just... they just have to say stuff like that

That doesn't make any sense.

Thank you, though, thank you, I'm sorry.

Ah, touché. Ahh.

We had intended... Hold on.

You don't have a college!

Get off me, you idiot.

All right. Thank you, smiley.

so do you know where I could find the lease holder?

Get ready to be inducted into the brotherhood, you winner!

Thank you for comin'.

Bartleby. Hey, what, are you stalking me or something?

Yes. You are the president of this whole fraternity.

and he washed out.

This is fun. I'm just gonna hang back

Does the run-of-the-mill college experience

Rule number one, lead with your star witness.

Yeah, you did great, you did great. I know.

Uh, we extended orientation. You're fine.

Your parents probably don't get it, but I do.

Which is good, because you know I'm not really in the mood

just a very small college. Teeny, tiny college.

I agree with you, sir.

I gotta open it first.

Um, yeah, I'll be taking questions in a minute.

coveted woodcarving award and next day,

Yes, but you can't just do this.

Oh, it's fine. Don't worry about it, man.

A health services center? No.

in order to attract them to going to school,

this is step one.

You go to Dr. A, they only pay for Dr. B.

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Hey! Hey, guys, don't go in there.

Have fun with these idiots!

When I got accepted here,

Dow, I love your wads

Uh, perhaps young Sherman didn't share this with you.

The word rejection. She can be a real bitch.

What are these?

Provides a good safe workspace for me to focus on my studies.

You know something?

Fortunately, Mom and Dad are on speed dial.

You think you want something because you've been conditioned to want it.

we could have a battle royale

We're Chip and Joanna Gaines.

Great. The birthplace of crack.

What are we gonna do?

I'm working with some very unstable herbs!

Schrader, you've been my best friend since we were 5 years old.

I don't. Uh, I go to South Harmon.

It was perfect, B! Perfect!

and when they begin that long journey

Ladies and gentlemen,

I don't know. I haven't seen him in a couple of days.

and I'm psyched for you, pal, 'cause you're my best friend and I love you.