Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

It's a spicy goat dish from Nigeria.

No, Christian. You are incapable

Johnson. Dakota Johnson.

Wait a minute, is that a Retina display MacBook Pro?

Don't give her all the dick, bro.

A b c d e f You and your eggs and your ramen and your job.

Hit that bottom!

that she'd grow up one day and run off with Gary.

Ooh, girl, I tried to take a piss earlier,

I want to be like that old man whose wife has Alzheimer's,

- Wha... - Yeah, I read your text.

as long as you promise you won't tell my dad I fucked a black guy.

Yeah, you're like... You're, like, a lot

- over all the years... - Oh, shit! What!

and he tells her the story about their lives together.

Turns out you were right about bin Laden.

No play cousins.

- Could be that you're lucky. - No.

Plain-ass bitch.

- Christian. - I hope I answered all your questions.

- The village is a gangbang. - Hannah!

Let's be clear. I will not share you with another woman.

- Are you upset? - I'm upset.

Two in the pink, one in the stink, yeah.

- Who the fuck are you? - My name is Hannah Steale.

- Yeah. I'd really love a handjob, though. - What?

super-handsome, possibly-dangerous thing,

- But what you not gonna do... - You not gonna do...

I was sure that Christian was gay.

Ooh, and I love Nicholas Sparks movies.

Oh, for sure. I will put that...

I got three fillets for fryin'.

Yes. Drink to forget.

Did I tell you that twins run in my family?

You know, that's not even real flowers. It's fucking fruit.

Good, 'cause you got fucked up!

I don't make the rules, I'm just telling you.

I have a very important question to ask you, Ms. Steale.

I'll just... I'll see you back at my place tomorrow. Yeah.

Boy, was I mistaken!

with the damaged hair and the cankles.

They gonna put me on a Wheaties box! Oh!

I can't believe you thought I was gonna take you on the chopper.

Please go back to the water-torture thing!

The Molly must not be crushed up all the way.

I'm actually around all of next week.

How about this? Let's try in Spanish.

What if I wanted to hire you?

about you right now.

No, you listen to me.

What if she get pregnant?

Who you telling? I was close, girl.

I mean, not really. You look like a sad Gollum.

I've just been waiting.

If you're looking for the homeless shelter, it's two doors down.

Wow, that's really just so sweet of you, Mrs. Black.

Well, what's more romantic

I'm here to see Mr. Black.

Yes, you did. I have it on tape.

And it's a start, okay?

which means there's no room for the dopey intern

You know, I'd like to bite that lip.

There's no mother, no brother, no cousins, no second cousin removed,

and have the family over for dinner.

I know what you're saying,

Interestingly enough, he donates all cash.

I don't know what to do!

Teach you a little lesson about rolling your eyes. Come on.

I Wish I'd died.

You can't be cuckooin' on this mo'fuck!

I am so sorry, Hannah.

Come with me. I'll explain.

Have one of these. Here you go.

The tape is this way. Follow me.

Are you thinkin' about marrying her?

I'm inspired to write a song

For Christian, of course, we have fried chicken and Kool-Aid.

I would've thought they'd be more droopy,

This must change!

If I could just find these keys.

You're not gonna amount to anything, sexually or musically.

I was just in the area and wanted to pick up a few items.

Not as sad as Luther Vandross' Dance With My Father.

Handcuffs. All right.

I'm gonna be honest with you, Christian. She's not attractive.

You're lucky I wasn't in your medicine cabinet,

I like baby talk, I like to cuddle.

you penis suck of yours.

- Hickies? Edible Arrangements? - Mmm.

That's 100 problems, Hannah!

Can I show you some love?

It takes the sting off.

- I got nothing. - 'Cause I'm better than you.

Is that something that you think you can do?