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Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips
Who are you talking to?
Goddamn. All right, you go that way. I'll go the other way.
What I meant was, section 428 of the Texas State Penal Code...
- What? - I know.
Deer noises, like, you know, like the dogs says:
Or make a lightning rod! A hat!
Protocol states that you only need to pack the essentials, ma'am.
We're bakers. Toast, muffin, cakes.
You know what you should be thinking about? Your next beat.
Under tribal law, police ain't got jurisdiction.
How much baking powder?
Deputy Jackson, Captain Emmett said that this transport was at 11 a.m.
Oh, no, here they come! I gotta get my gun!
I just took a bullet for you!
Meter maid
Okay! Okay.
- I got shot. - Yeah, you little cucaracha.
I would hate to see you dead.
Mostly yes.
I was gonna say, How does it feel being a glorified secretary?
Captain Emmett.
The officer is considered armed and extremely dangerous.
Okay, okay, Officer Scarface, just keep it together.
No, Mrs. Riva, I did not mean that.
Get Your Ass Back in that cell
- Captain Emmett? - Yes, Cooper.
But I have to be tough to be a cop.
You're just lucky to be alive. The good news is...
All right, keep it down.
I trusted you.
Oh.
Mrs. Riva.
Okay?
Just hold it there.
Honey bunny!
So please take me to a bathroom right now...
- Who sent you? - Who sent you?
First is the toner and then...
How does it feel?
- Why would you do that? - Why?
Uh, Mrs. Riva is having some problems with some lady business.
When I said I had to leave early, you pulled your gun out on the table.
Is that the remote?
...with my computer...
- What? - I can't be a doctor because I am Colombian?
Yeah, I can, but you gotta stop pointing that thing at me.
I do not believe they'll let you leave in that outfit.
Aah! I know this is impractical but we might have to catch our own food.
- Cowboy? - This is a good plan. This is gonna work!
Hauser!
Move your ponytail! I can't see!
I've been attacked.
Used correctly, bottle openers can jack tires and pick door locks.
Out of the way!
...at the opulent Royal Colfax Hotel.
"- My feet got stuck! I can't pull it out! - Pull it out!"
So if you want to take me to Dallas to die, take me.
- Ha-ha-ha. - Okay.
Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
It's day, right? It's like Vegas.
- Really? - Yes, I did.
You go out first, and then I want you to go around and then wait.
You do?
I'm here for you, cariño.
Please.
- Why? - Okay.
You get a chance to get out of the doghouse, and you with me, sweetie. Mm?
Well, I got you the sparkly stilettos to go out...
Penis! Oh, my God.
Trying to show him I love you. I'm distracting him so he won't call the cops!
That I tried to escape doesn't mean that the story's not true.
Now, you just settle down and tell me:
I know she looks like she can't protect nothing...
Well, the good news is you're about to see him again.
My father trusted you.
- This doesn't make any sense. - Drive! Stop talking and drive!
Wait, he's coming back! Here he comes!
I need a taxi. Sorry, this is important.
No! I'm not going anywhere without my suitcase!
Meanwhile, law enforcement officials are forced to stand and watch...
Look at this photo.
How did you...?
You pervert.
...in the case against notorious cartel leader Vicente Cortez.
Oh, my God!
It was not my fault.
You Just got coopered BITCH
Can't you just hold it?
Calm down, ma'am. Everything's gonna be fine.
...and they have attraction towards each other.
I can't believe I'm saying this. I'm actually having fun with you.
- I have to use the rock! - Hold on!
- Hold up, hold up! - Get back, Goldilocks!
No. I have a better idea.
See that?
Ay, Brenda, Brenda, Brenda.