"Weird" Al Yankovic - Amish Paradise

Then tonight we're gonna party like it's 1699

Or else, my brother, I might just have to get medieval on your heinie

I never wear buttons but I got a cool hat

A local boy kicked me in the butt last week

As I walk through the valley where I harvest my grain

Even Ezekiel thinks that my mind is gone

Well, I know I'm a million times as humble as thou art

'Cause I'll be laughing my head off when he's burning in hell

We haven't even paid the phone bill in 300 years

Jebediah feeds the chickens and Jacob plows... fool

It's as primitive as can be

Raised a barn on Monday, soon I'll raise anudder

I've churned butter once or twice

We sell quilts at discount price

I'm the pious guy the little Amlettes wanna be like

On my knees day and night scorin' points for the afterlife

You know, I shun fancy things like electricity

We're just technologically impaired

So don't be vain and don't be whiny

There's no phone, no lights, no motorcar

Living in an Amish paradise

If you come to visit, you'll be bored to tears

I just smiled at him and turned the other cheek

Living in an Amish paradise

But that's just perfect for an Amish like me